God Love Her
by Lynyrd Lionheart
Summary: Bella is the police chief's perfect daughter. Edward is the surgeon's delinquent son. When Bella catches her boyfriend cheating on her, she throws all caution to the wind and hops on the back of Edward's motorcycle for the ride of her life. All Human
1. Picture to Burn

_**A/N: For those of you who have read my previous stories, you'll know that I wrote Moonlight Sonata and it's two sequels. This story is going to be very different from that, as it's all human. It's also greatly inspired by music. To those of you who have read my profile, I know I said I'd be writing "Spiral" first, but this one refused to leave me alone. **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot… sort of. It's greatly influenced by a song, but I manipulated for my own twisted purposes.**_

_**I hope you enjoy it:**_

**One. Picture to Burn**

"Bella, babe, wait. It wasn't what it looked like!"

The world's most cliché phrase.

"It didn't mean anything!"

Followed by the second most clichéd phrase.

"Then what was it Mike?" I spun around to glare at my (ex) boyfriend, Mike Newton. He wore a sheet (_my_ sheet) wrapped around his waist and nothing else. "Because I'm pretty sure it's hard to misunderstand the sight of someone's tongue down your _throat_!"

"Just because it wasn't you-" My (ex) best friend Jessica blanched and backed off when I turned my glare on her.

"Get the hell out of my house," I told her.

"Uhm, I'll just go get my clothes," she moved to go back into the room she and Mike had just exited (_my_ room), but I grabbed her arm before she could.

"I don't think so," I spun her around and pushed her towards the steps. "Let everyone see you in nothing but your underwear. God knows _I_ shouldn't be the only one to suffer.

"What, no _way!"_

"Go Jessica, before I hurt you. And I will hurt you. Trust me on this one."

With a high pitched 'eep' Jessica ran down the stairs. I could hear the catcalls of various horny high school guys from the party as she made her way out of the house.

"Bella, you know it was nothing. Jess is just easy-"

"And that makes it _okay_?" I hissed. "You cheated on me Mike. In my _own house_!" I reached out and ripped the sheet away from him. "On my favourite fleece sheets!" I shook the sheet at him. "Get out, Mike! Go screw Jessica in your _own_ room."

"I'm not going without any clothes," Mike argued.

I stalked into my room, grabbed his discarded boxers, and threw them at him.

"Here. Even I'm not so cruel as to make everyone else see your pathetic little wang," I waved my hand at him. "Now. Get. Out!!!"

Like Jessica, Mike blanched and, after quickly throwing on the boxers, ran down the stairs, through the party-goers, and out the door. Even over the loud sound of "Fire Burning" I could hear my front door slam behind him.

It was a nice sound.

I ran my fingers through my hair and headed down the steps and into the party. Several guys tried to grab me to dance, but I pushed them away and made a beeline to the sound system. I hadn't wanted to have this party anyway, but Mike had convinced me to throw the graduation bash before summer began and everyone started heading their separate ways.

I hit the 'stop' button, and the music shut off, the noise being replaced by several people arguing.

"I just caught my boyfriend fucking my bestfriend," I shout above the noise. "If you want to blame anyone for the party ending, blame them. Now, I'd suggest getting out of my house, because I'm pissed and would really like to cause someone, _anyone_, real physical harm."

I saw several people make their way out of the door, but the majority continued arguing.

"Seriously people, my father is the chief of police. Get out, or I call him."

_That_ got everyone moving. In less time than I though possible, everyone had left the house, leaving behind a mess of beer bottles, empty cups, and a half a bottle of tequila.

I sighed. I hated to threaten people with my dad (who was actually fishing with his best pals on the reservation and would be unreachable until Sunday when he came home unless it was an emergency), but right now I was just glad to be alone.

Looking at the mess again, I decided that it was a job for the morning, and grabbed the tequila bottle before heading to Charlie's room.

I would have to get myself a new bed, but for now I'd just get drunk.

-*-

The next morning I awoke with a splitting headache and a new lease on life.

Yeah, I was still pissed off that Mike cheated on me, but as I gathered up his and Jessica's clothes, and my bed spread, I realized I was more pissed that my sheets were ruined than that he had cheated on me.

When you love a bed spread more than your boyfriend, it's time to get a new boyfriend.

Burning the clothes really helped soothe my temper.

It came right back when Mike started pounding on my door at noon.

"Bella, let's talk about this. It was one slip-up. I love you baby."

I snorted at that, and continued to clean my living room, completely ignoring him.

"Don't be this way Bella. Everyone makes mistakes."

I would've told him that a mistake is missing a birthday, not tearing up your girlfriend's sheets with her (ex) best friend, but I thought that if I ignored him, he might go away sooner.

I was wrong.

By three, the house was clean and I was so completely sick of Mike, that I did something that could have proved to be fatal to someone as… _gracefully challenged_ as me.

I climbed out my bedroom's second storey window to get away.

The fact that I made it down with my purse only getting caught once and a minor five foot fall from the tree's lowest branch was really quite a miracle.

Since Mike was still sitting on my front doorstep, I chose to exit into the alley behind the house through the garage. Fifteen minutes later, I was kicking a rock down main street Forks.

It was absolutely dead on a Sunday afternoon.

In a town the size of Forks, no one was ever open on Sunday. Half the population needed the day off to go to church, the other half were sane and chose to use the day off to go to sleep.

I couldn't wait to get away in the fall.

I was so caught up in my dreams of a life away from Forks, that I didn't realize I was the only person on the sidewalk until the stone I was kicking hit a pair of scuffed black boots.

"Now, what's golden girl doing walking around all alone? Did Mr. All American leave you for Stanley again?"

My head snapped up so I could glare at the speaker, who also happened to own the scuffed boots.

Edward Cullen- Forks' only surgeon, Carlisle Cullen's, troubled adopted son stood there, leaning against his shiny black motorcycle.

By 'troubled' I really meant _trouble_. My father had taken him in on traffic infractions and underage drinking on more than one occasion. There was even a particularly memorable occasion when he had been caught setting the stop sign on main street on fire.

Jessica always gushed about how hot the bad boy thing was to me. Given half the chance, she would have jumped on the back of his motorcycle and ridden off into the sunrise (or to a good fuck) with him.

I couldn't exactly blame her- Edward _was_ gorgeous, with emerald green eyes, and bronze hair that was in a permanently mussed state (a look that Mike had tried, and failed horribly, to copy once upon a time).

"What do you want, Edward?" I asked.

Edward raised an eyebrow at my voice. It had sounded weary, even to me.

"Here," he tossed me a helmet.

"Why do I need this?" I asked dryly.

"Why do you think?" he replied. "We're going for a ride."

"You expect _me_ to get on _that_ with _you_," I couldn't help but laugh. "Do you remember who my father is? Sorry Edward, but he'd kill me if I got on a motorcycle with anyone much less with you."

"I guess the Golden Girl really does do everything Daddy says," Edward replied, turning on the motorcycle's engine with a roar. "Pity. And I'd had such hopes for you after I heard that you sent Stanley and Newton running off in just their underwear and an expression of terror."

I scowled at the reminder of Mike and Jessica. Charlie had approved of my relationships with them because they came from 'good families' and 'didn't cause any trouble.'

Showed how great a judge of character Charlie was.

I looked at Edward and the motorcycle (they made an impressive picture), then down at the helmet. A sudden impulse to climb on behind him and not look back hit me, and I frowned.

I wasn't impulsive. I was smart, I was responsible, I was…

Stuck in a rut with a cheating ex and a slutty ex best friend.

"If you crash, I'll kill you," I told him, slamming the helmet on my head and climbing onto the bike behind him.

"Hold on tight," was his reply.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and barely refrained from screaming as she shot away from the sidewalk and towards the edge of town.

The speed was exhilarating, and I found myself loving it once I got over my initial reaction of extreme terror.

"This is amazing!" I laughed, loosening death grip around Edward's waist. "I think I understand why Charlie always catches you speeding now!"

I managed to just barely hear Edward's chuckle over the roar of the engine and the wind.

"Someone's got to keep your old man in shape," he called back. "He'd go soft without me."

I laughed again, throwing my head back to enjoy the feel of wind whipping against my face.

I'm not sure how long we rode. Before I knew it, it was dusk and Edward was pulling to the side of the road where there was a tourist stop for pictures on the cliff edge.

"It's beautiful," I said, walking away from the bike so I could watch the sun set over the water.

"I like to ride up here when I want to think," Edward replied, leaning against the protective railing next to me. "It soothes me."

"Do you often need soothing?" I asked, looking up at him.

He looked down at me, that soft smile in his green eyes.

"Every now and then," he replied. "Carlisle and I sometimes fight. I like to come up here after that happens."

"What do you fight about?" I asked, turning my gaze back out to the view.

"What do you think?" I could hear the amusement in his voice. "I'm the resident delinquent of Forks, remember?"

"Why do you do that stuff?" I asked. "I mean, I can understand the speeding- it _is_ completely exhilarating. But what about the rest of it?"

"I think the better question is how can you _not_ do it?" Edward replied. "Forks is completely boring, Bella."

"You tried to burn down the main street stop sign because you were _bored_?" I couldn't help but laugh. "That's ridiculous."

"That's life," I looked up at Edward as he said this, and felt my breath catch. The combination of laughter and the way the sun reflected in his eyes was beautiful.

"You're kind of beautiful, you know?" I told him, starting another bout of laughter.

"I've been called man other things, but never beautiful. Couldn't I be cruelly handsome instead? That sounds much more masculine."

I laughed again.

"You're not cruel. Stupid, but not cruel," I replied.

"Whatever you say, miss 'a' average. Not all of us are as perfect as you."

I snorted at that.

"Pride in my GPA doesn't make me perfect. What's yours? It must be bad if you ridicule those of us who have good ones."

Edward hesitated for a moment and watched the sun as it continued to disappear beyond the horizon.

"Three point eight," he admitted at last, and I choked in shock.

"And you were mocking _me_? That's better than mine!"

Edward shrugged, a faint hint of red on his cheeks.

"I've done stupid things. That doesn't mean I _am_ stupid," he replied, his voice defensive.

"No it doesn't," I agreed, turning introspective. "Look at me. Good grades, crappy judge of character."

"Mike is an ass and Jessica's an airhead. They deserve each other, and you deserve better."

"Thanks, Edward," I threw my head back and closed my eyes, taking in the sounds of the waves, and the scent of ocean. "God, I can't wait until summer is done and I can leave that mire."

"Why wait?" Edward returned.

"Because college doesn't start until September," I replied. "And neither does my apartment lease."

"Who needs an apartment? My gas tank's still three quarters full and there's a big wide world out there to explore before you hit college."

I looked at him incredulously.

"Edward Cullen, are you asking me to _run away_ with you?"

His grin was unrepentant.

"Why not?" he replied. "What's holding you in Forks, Bella? A Dad you can easily contact by phone and a cheating ex?"

"Charlie would worry-"

"He has to cut the apron strings eventually."

"I have no clothes."

"That's what your credit card and a chequing account are for. Besides, before my parents died they were loaded, and it all came to me on my eighteenth."

"I'm not living off you, Edward," I replied.

"Okay, then, I'll accept sexual favours for it."

I couldn't help at the ridiculousness of that statement.

"C'mon Bella- why are you really so unwilling? Is it because I'm Edward Cullen? Are you really that chicken?"

"It's not chicken, it's responsible. It's _sane_!"

Edward took the helmet from my hand and placed it on my head, doing up the strap.

"Be a little crazy, Bella," he whispered, looking down at me and closing the distance between us so it was nearly non-existent.

"I'm not crazy. I don't do impulses," I replied.

But, _God, _standing there, looking into his green eyes, I _wanted_ to be crazy. More than anything.

A small, crooked grin quirked his lips, lips that, when he leaned down slowly, brushed against mine in one word.

"_Try_."

**A/N2: As you can probably guess by the title, this chapter was inspired by Taylor Swift's "Picture to Burn". The story itself came into my mind while I was listening to two songs: "God Love Her" by Toby Keith, and "Didn't Even See the Dust" by Paul Brandt. I will be telling you the musical inspirations to the story at the end of each chapter. If you don't care, you can skip over this stuff, but if you like music, then you can read and maybe find a new song you like. I hope you like the story, and if you review, you will be my hero.**


	2. Catch Me

_**A.N: I've decided that, after this chapter, I'll be uploading once a week, so expect to see a new chapter every Sunday. Thanks to all who reviewed, and I hope you enjoy this next chapter**_

**Two. Catch Me**

I had been kissed by Mike dozens of times. Soft kisses, French kisses, all sorts of kisses.

Yet, not once, had he made me feel the electricity the mere brush of Edward Cullen's lips made me feel.

And that's all it was, a simple brush of his lips as he murmured the even simpler 'try.'

I felt Edward pull back slightly, but it was enough to make me close my eyes with loss. I felt almost ridiculous.

I had just caught my boyfriend cheating on me less than twenty-four hours ago, yet here I was _kissing_ (kind of) Edward Cullen and listening to him try to convince me to run away.

And actually considering it.

"This is completely crazy," I told him. "I hardly know you, and what I do know has come from my _father_, who isn't exactly your biggest fan."

"But you want it, don't you?" Edward grinned at me. "The freedom."

"Why did you kiss me?" I shot back, not answering his question.

"Because you looked like you needed to be kissed. And because I felt like I needed to be the one to kiss you," he grasped my hand and pulled me toward the bike. The sun had set now, only a faint tinge on the horizon as proof of it ever being there. Above us, the moon and the stars were taking over the sky.

Edward started the bike, and I had to cover my eyes so they could adjust the glare of the headlights.

"It's up to you, Bella. Are we turning around, or do we drive ahead."

"If agree, will you kiss me again?" I asked warily.

"Probably," Edward replied cheerfully. "Does that scare you?"

I stepped up to the side of the bike so I could look him in the eyes.

"A little," I admitted, and Edward gave a roguish grin that sent butterflies into my stomach.

"Enough that we go back to Forks?"

I should have said yes, go back to Forks. It was the smart thing to do. The sane, responsible thing to do.

I was so sick of being sane and responsible.

I was so sick of doing what everyone expected. I dated Mike because he asked me out, and everyone expected me to say yes to the school's most popular boy. I got straight A's because everyone expected the police chief's daughter to do good in school.

I was sick of Forks.

"Charlie's gonna kill me," I told Edward.

"Oh?" he replied, amused.

"Yeah, so let's make sure we're a hell of a lot farther away than this before I call him," I got on the bike, made sure my purse was securely between us, and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Take me away, Edward."

Laughing, Edward kicked the bike into gear and we zoomed away from the pit stop.

Away from Forks.

Away from _everything_.

-*-

"How far are we gonna go before we stop?" I hollered, so I could be heard.

"Seattle," Edward called back. "It'll be easy to find a room there, and you can call the Chief."

Calling Charlie.

I was _not_ looking forward to that.

"I think I'm crazy," I murmured.

"What was that?" Edward called.

"Nothing," I replied. "Talking to myself."

I could see the quirk of his lips over his shoulder.

"You're second guessing yourself, Bella. Don't. Just do what your gut tells you to do."

I bit my lip thoughtfully, and laid my head against his back, thinking about what he'd said. My gut… what was my gut telling me?

That I was crazy.

_No. That's my mind_.

My gut… it was saying… I closed my eyes.

It was saying that this felt right. That this, being on the back of this motorcycle, being with Edward, it was right.

Which was, of course, as my mind was telling me, crazy. But maybe for once crazy was the right thing. It felt like the right thing.

I decided to take Edward's advice. I would let my gut guide me.

Smiling to myself, I tightened my arms briefly around Edward's waist in a hug, and settled in for ride. When we reached Seattle I'd worry about Charlie and my life in Forks.

For now, I'd simply enjoy the feeling of freedom that I felt.

-*-

We decided to stay the night at a Best Western on the edge of the city. It was clean, safe, and not overly expensive, which had been the conditions I had laid down for Edward, who had wanted to find a five star place that served caviar in room service.

"I don't get why I couldn't choose it," he muttered. "_I'm_ paying."

"I'm paying you back half, that's why," I retorted. "Just let me find an ATM."

I craned my neck to look for an ATM, but Edward grasped my wrist and pulled me to the elevator.

"Hey- what the hell, Edward?"

"You're not paying me back, Bella," Edward replied. "I have money I don't really need. Let me fund this little expedition."

"I told you I'm not letting you pay for me, and no," I interrupted him as he opened his mouth. "I won't give sexual favours in payment."

There was an insulted scoff to our left, and I looked over blushing as I realized we weren't alone on the elevator.

We were in the company of an old woman who had to be at least eighty, no more than five feet tall, and who was looking at me as though I were the ooze on the bottom of her brown loafers. The elevator binged, and she strode off, her nose in the air.

"The youth of today! So crass!" she said as she left.

The doors closed again, and Edward and I looked at each other for a moment in silence.

Then we burst out laughing.

"Did you," laugh, "see her," laugh, "face?" Edward gasped out, holding his stomach.

"Yeah," was all I got out in reply.

We were still giggling when we reached the door to our room, but it ceased when we entered and I pulled out my cell phone.

"Do you need a pep talk?" Edward asked. "Cause if you do, I can give you one before I shower."

"No," I shook my head. "I can do this."

Edward didn't say another word, he just entered the bathroom. I waited until I heard the shower running and, pushing the thought that Edward was naked just a door away, dialled the number for the house in Forks.

RING.

Maybe he wouldn't be home.

RING.

I could leave a message- that would easy. All the info, none of the drama.

RI-

"Bella, where the hell are you?"

Stupid call display.

"Hi Ch- Dad. How was your day?" I replied pleasantly, trying to stall.

"Answer the question, Bella."

I really hated it when he was stubborn.

"I'minSeattle," I said, the words coming out in a slurred mess as I tried to say them as fast as possible.

There was a pause, then Charlie spoke slowly, and with deadly calm.

"What did you say?"

"I'm in Seattle," I replied, marginally slower this time.

"And how did you get to Seattle, Isabella?"

"Erm… onthebackofEdwardCullen'smotorcycle."

"Slower, Isabella. Because I swore you just said on the back of Edward Cullen's motorcycle," Charlie's voice was too pleasant, and calling me Isabella was never a good sign. "But that can't be right, because you know my view of the young Mr. Cullen."

"You heard me right," I replied nervously.

"Tell me where you are. I am coming to get you."

If Charlie had stopped there, I probably would have agreed, just because the calm he was showing was just too freaky.

But he didn't stop.

"I don't know what that boy did to you, but I'll get you, and I'll make sure he's behind bars where he belongs-"

"No, Dad," I interrupted him, feeling my anger rise in response to the insult to Edward.

"What did you say?"

"I said no. You're not coming to get me, and I'm not coming home. I'm going to go… _wherever_ with Edward, and I'm going to enjoy every second of it."

"You're not going anywhere with that boy."

"I'm eighteen- you can't stop me."

"He's a delinquent!" Charlie was beginning to get angry. That was good- it was far easier to rebel against angry Charlie than eerily calm Charlie.

"I know your views on him, Dad. But considering that you though Mike Newton was wonderful, and he ended up trying to fuck my best friend in _my_ bed, I think I'll trust my own instincts over yours. Thanks."

"Don't take that tone with me, Isabella!" Charlie was yelling now. "Tell me where in Seattle you are, and I'll come get you."

"You can't make me, Dad. I'm legally an adult. You have no say in what I do."

"If you do this, then don't bother coming home, Bella."

That made me pause. I had expected anger, but I hadn't expected disownment. For a second I almost gave in, but then my anger came rushing into me, and I made my decision.

"If you're going to wipe your hands at me the first time I make a choice for myself, then I don't want to come home. I've always done everything you wanted me to. I dated Mike because you approved, I did good in school because that's what you wanted, I even decided to go to Washington State because _that's what you wanted_!! Well, I'm done Charlie. For once, I'm doing what I want. If you can't handle that, then fine. _I'll_ disown _you_."

I heard Charlie blustering, but I ignored it and clicked the end button, staring down at my phone.

"Are you okay?"

My head shot up. Edward stood in the doorway to the bathroom, wearing his jeans but no shirt. A part of me admired his lean, muscular physique, but the larger part was too hurt and angry to care.

"We'll have to get chargers for our cells," I said. "Neither of us have one. We should be fine for tonight but-"

Edward stopped my rambling by sitting next to me and wrapping his arms around me. The comfort made a sob rip from my throat. Once it came, more followed, and I sobbed into his chest.

"I'm sorry Bella," he murmured. "I knew he'd be angry, but I didn't think he'd disown you."

"I'm so _mad_," I sobbed. "I get that he's mad. Seriously, I would've had a heart attack if he _hadn't_ been. But I didn't think he'd do that."

"Do you want to go back?" Edward's voice was soft.

"No," I sat up, pulling away so I could wipe the tears away from my eyes. "If he has that little faith in me, then I don't know if I want to see him again."

"Are you sure?"

I was, I realized. Charlie's anger, rather than making me re-think my decision, just made me that more positive that I'd made the right one.

"Yes," my voice was filled with steely resolve. "I think I need to do this. I've always done what was expected, it's time I break free," I flopped back on the bed, and Edward flopped back next to me. "I've always wanted to see New York. And the beach in Florida," I turned my face to look at him. "What about you? Where do you want to go?"

"Chicago," he replied.

"Chicago?" I raised a brow.

"Yeah. It's where I was born. I can't remember my life there, but I've always wanted to go, to see where I came from."

"Can we do it all?" I asked.

"We'll do everything we want," Edward replied, reaching over to brush a piece of hair out of my eyes.

"Everything?" I repeated.

Edward nodded, his green eyes solemn. If felt a smile peek at the edge of my lips.

I didn't know if it would last, but for right now I believed him.

_**A.N2: I am having loads of fun writing this story. You'll probably find that the character are OOC, but there's reasons for that: a) Edward is a teenage boy who is mortal, not a 108 year old vampire. He's going to be different. B) Bella is OOC, because she's stepping outside her comfort zone and going wild. **_

_**The main musical inspiration for this chapter was "Catch Me" by Demi Lovato. Normally I'm not into Disney stars, but I don't mind her, and I really love that song. I was also listening to "Where No One Knows Me" by Jan Arden.**_


	3. Untouchable

**A/N: This is an early chapter in celebration of my mid-terms being done tonight. Yay!! I'll still be putting up chapter four on Sunday.**

**Question to consider: What sorts of sites, and pitfalls would you like to see Bella and Edward experience? Right now, they'll be travelling across the northern States to Chicago and New York, so it has to be something they'd come across there. It can be as weird as you like (such as the world's biggest ball of yarn… or maybe they'll stop at one of those restaurants that has the huge burgers that you get for free if you can eat it in half an hour… hmmmm….). **

**Enjoy:**

**Three. Untouchable**

**EPOV**

"I need to shower," Bella said, staring up at the roof. "And you should call Dr. and Mrs. Cullen."

"The Chief has probably already beaten me to it," I told her.

Bella's lips quirked, but her eyes had a sad cast to them.

I hated that I was partially to blame for that sadness.

"Probably," Bella agreed, "but you should still call."

She got up and held her hand out to me. I grasped it, savouring the soft warmth of her palm in mine and allowed her to pull me into a sitting position. Once I was up, she left for the washroom, pausing in the doorway to look back at me.

"Edward. Thanks."

"What for?" I asked.

"For listening, for caring," she laughed. "For convincing me to run away with you."

I stared at the door for several moments after she had closed it.

If only she really _were_ running away with me.

I had watched Bella Swan from a distance for years. The police chief's perfect daughter and, as such, firmly off limits to the town's delinquent. I had still dreamed, though. Of speaking to her, of laughing with her.

_Of kissing her_.

I couldn't help but smile in remembrance of the "kiss" I had given her earlier. It could hardly be called a kiss, but it had sent my blood pumping and my head racing. I still couldn't believe I was in a motel, sharing a room with _Bella Swan_. I still felt that if I pinched myself, I would wake up and find that it had all been a dream.

I shook my head at myself and dialled my home number.

It was really quite pathetic how gone I was over the girl.

"Edward, what the hell are you thinking?" Carlisle's voice burst over the phone, jerking me out of my thoughts.

"Hello to you, too, Carlisle," I replied. "I guess Chief Swan's already called you."

"What are you thinking running off with his _daughter_. He wants you in jail, Edward!"

"He's always wanted that, Carlisle," I pointed out. "It's not like I've actually done anything wrong. We're both eighteen. Our lives are our own."

"She's Charlie Swan's daughter," Carlisle sighed. "Couldn't you have stayed out of trouble for another two months instead of eloping with Isabella Swan?"

"We're not eloping," I replied. "We're traveling."

"Where?" Carlisle's voice was bleak. It gave me a pang to realize that he had given up on me.

"Why do you care? I'm out of your hair, Carlisle. No more trouble from me. You should be happy."

"Esme and I care about you, Edward. And we worry. Your actions… they're not always that responsible."

"I know," I replied. "Usually I do really stupid things," I glanced towards the door of the bathroom, where I could still hear the shower running. I allowed myself one mental fantasy of Bella in the shower before I focused on the conversation again. "But this isn't one of them. She wasn't happy, Carlisle, and neither was I."

"Chief Swan's going to cut her off," Carlisle warned me.

"I know," I replied. "So does she. That hurt her, and pissed her off. It kind of pissed me off, too," I sighed. "Am I cut off, too?"

There was a pause.

"You always have a home here, Edward," Carlisle replied. "Despite what you think, I _haven't_ given up on you," that warmed my heart a bit. "I'll see if I can talk Charlie down… I just hope you know what you're doing."

I grinned.

"Not really," I heard Carlisle sigh. "But it's right. I know it's right. I'll call you," I paused. "Tell Esme I love her and not to worry."

"Be safe, Edward. And please, do come home."

I hung up the phone with a smile playing on my lips. We may fight, and I may frustrate the hell out of him, but Carlisle was a good man, and a good father.

"How'd it go?" asked Bella coming out of the bathroom, towelling her hair dry.

"A lot better than expected," I replied. "Carlisle's going to try and talk Charlie down."

"He accepted it?" Bella looked incredulous.

"Yeah… Carlisle's a pretty cool guy," I patted the bed next to me, and Bella sat down to continue drying her hair.

"Cooler than Charlie, anyway," Bella's voice and expression were wry, and my heart gave a pang for her. Despite her tough act, Charlie's reaction had really hurt her.

"He loves you Bella. He'll get over it," I squeezed her shoulder in comfort. "We should get some sleep. Which bed do you want?"

"It doesn't matter," Bella replied. "You choose."

Dangerous words considering that I would like to choose whichever she was in, but I had gotten a room with two beds for a reason. I didn't want Bella to feel uncomfortable.

I may want to kiss her and hold her, but I couldn't forget that she had just recently been cheated on, even if she didn't appear very broken hearted.

"I'll take this one, I guess," I replied.

"Sounds good," Bella got back up to put the towel back in the washroom, then came back out to crawl under the covers of her bed. "We'll have to get some clothes in the morning."

"We'll worry about that tomorrow. For now, sleep. G'night."

My answer was the sound of her soft breathing.

She was already asleep.

-*-

That night, I discovered something very interesting about Miss Bella Swan.

She spoke in her sleep.

And she said very interesting things.

"No, not there. Over there, next to the penguin," she muttered. I wondered what she was dreaming about.

"I don't like salami, I want meatballs."

"No! That's the monkey's sirloin."

I spent about an hour snickering at her comments, but not all of them made me laugh.

One in particular put a rather large smile on my face.

"Ed… Edward," she murmured, cuddling into her pillow, a small smile on her face. There was some unintelligible muttering, but no matter how I strained my ears I could hear it.

Then…

"Kiss me again Edward."

I'm pretty sure my smile was brighter than Time's Square on New Year's.

Bella was dreaming about me.

Bella was dreaming about _kissing _me.

I fell asleep with a very large smile.

-*-

"Is there anywhere in particular you want to go?" I called over my shoulder. We had gotten up at eight so we could get shopping when the stores opened at nine. I wanted to be out of Seattle by eleven.

"It doesn't matter," she replied. "Wal-Mart's fine. And don't make that face. I happen to like Wal-Mart. It's cheap and some of their stuff isn't half bad."

I didn't know how she could tell I was making a face from behind me, but I decided against asking.

"It's _Wal-Mart_ though, Bella."

"We can get everything we need in one stop if we go there."

It was only that argument that had me pulling into the parking lot at the closest Wal-Mart.

Well, that and the fact that I couldn't tell Bella 'no.' I had been hung up on her since I'd moved to Forks four years ago- she was my weakness.

Part of me was glad she didn't realize that- the other part mourned that she didn't.

"Okay, so we should probably split up," Bella said as we entered the store. "What all do we need? Clothes, cell phone chargers, bags to put our stuff in…" she trailed off, motioning for me to add my two cents.

"Water bottles and I want to get you a better jacket," I plucked at the one she wore. "Leather is more protective."

"I'll see if I can find one," she replied.

"I'll get you one," I held up my hand when she began to argue. "It's my motorcycle, and I want you to be safe on it. I won't argue this one Bella, so it would be quicker if you didn't try. Now, let's get you some clothes."

"No- I'm getting _me_ clothes and you're going to get _you_ clothes," she blushed when I frowned at her, not understanding why we had to separate. "It'll be quicker," explained, "and… well… I'd really rather not have you with me when I'm getting underwear."

"Oh," I replied, rather lamely. Her words brought to mind an image of Bella…in nothing _but_ her underwear. I felt a little hot under the color, so I cleared my throat, "well then. Erm… once we have our clothes we can meet there," I pointed at the electronics section, "and then get the rest of our stuff."

Bella was flushed beet red and just nodded, hurrying off towards the women's clothing section.

Damn, but the things she did to me.

**A/N: All non-Bella POV will be labelled like this chapter was. If the POV isn't stated, then it's Bella. If the inspiration keeps coming like it has been for this story, then you may be getting chapters every Wednesday and Sunday, instead of just once a week. Keep those reviews coming- they inspire me ;).**

**Musical inspiration for this chapter came courtesy of Taylor Swift's version of "Untouchable" and "Leavin'" by Paul Brandt. I'd really suggest you look up Paul Brandt if you like country- he is pretty much my hero.**

**Please review and give an answer to the question at the start of the chapter- I love feedback!**


	4. Motorcycle Ran Out of Gas

_**A.N: Stupid internet!!! Sorry, I couldn't get online yesterday to update. I live in Rez at University, and our internet occasionally doesn't work. It's a pain in the butt, especially when I have chem lab due and can't get to the stupid reference sites. **_

_**But that enough of my anger at rez internet. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and please enjoy:**_

**Four. Motorcycle Ran Out Of Gas**

I was glad I hadn't had to stick by Edward for too long after entering the store. Talking about underwear with him and turned me the ugly bright red that only I seemed to have the ability of reaching.

I was already embarrassed enough around him after the dreams I'd had the previous night, I hadn't needed anymore.

Thinking about those dreams made me shiver, which made me feel pathetic. They had barely reached PG-13, yet I had woken up this morning feeling as if I had spent the night being pushed to the edge without getting release. I hadn't been able to look him in the eye through all of breakfast.

Shaking my head, I made my way towards the women's clothes to find some outfits for myself.

I had never really liked shopping. For clothes, at least. Put me in a book store, and I could get lost for hours. Surround me with clothes, and I just lost interest.

Still… a part of me wanted to at least look decent around Edward.

I wandered through the clothes, and within ten minutes had picked out three pairs of jeans and some tops that I thought were cute, but practical enough for riding across the country on a motorcycle. By the time twenty-five minutes were up, I had managed to find a hairbrush as well, and was headed back to electronics.

Edward was there already, his back to me as he surveyed a stand of dvds.

"Thinking about getting a portable TV, too?" I asked. "I don't think that'll work too well on the bike."

He looked at me over his shoulder, his grin full of boyish charm that lit up his eyes. I felt a faint flush in my cheeks. Edward had never affected me like this before, so why was he now?

_Maybe because, until now, you'd never spoken ten words to him?_

That was true. As the police chief's daughter, it would have been taboo for me to be seen with the town's troublemaker. The thought brought on another- one I had to vocalize to Edward.

"Do you realize the uproar we'll have caused in Forks?" I asked him.

"Uproar?" he raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"The police chief's daughter runs off with Edward Cullen?" though the thought of Charlie caused some pain, I couldn't help but smirk. "People will be talking about it for decades to come. It's the most exciting thing to happen since Mr. Goff the Bio teacher got caught fooling around with Mrs. Cope."

Edward laughed and wrapped his arm companionably around my shoulders. His touch sent a shock through me, and I looked up at him to see if he had felt it too. He was looking down at me. There was still laughter in his eyes, but there was also that soft look that had been there as we watched the sun set. I felt my breath catch, and I wondered what it would feel like if he kissed me again- _really_ kissed me this time.

His right hand was reaching up to my face when I was jostled from behind and stumbled into him. I fell heavily into his chest, and only his quick reflexes stopped us both from crashing back into the ipod display behind us.

"Um… sorry," I quickly straightened up and looked away blushing. "We should probably go and get the rest of our stuff."

There was a heavy silence for a moment, and I was too afraid to look at Edward, to see his expression. Finally he sighed.

"Yeah, c'mon. I saw a leather jacket I want you to try on, and there are a couple canvas bags that'll be good for carrying our stuff."

I thought I might have heard disappointment in his voice, but I shook that thought away. I had just broken up with Mike- I did _not_ need another relationship right now.

Not even if it was with someone who could make me laugh, and who I wanted to lick when I saw him.

I bit my lip as I followed behind Edward.

Crap, but I was so screwed.

-*-

The jacket Edward had chose for me was comfortable and, as we raced down the I-90, far more warm than my previous one had been.

We had finished at Wal-Mart, taking a few minutes in the parking lot to transfer all our purchases from the plastic bags to the canvas ones Edward had bought. Once that was done, Edward had wasted no time in firing up the bike and getting us out of Seattle.

"I want to reach Spokane before we stop for the night," Edward called back to me.

"Spokane? That's not that far," I replied.

"Are you in a hurry?" he asked me. "This trip is about enjoying life, Bella, not speeding through it."

"Well, what will we do once we reach Spokane, then?" I asked.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Edward sighed shaking his head. "The question isn't what we do when we get there. It's what do we do on the _way_ there?"

I caught a flash of his grin as he pulled a sharp left onto a gravel road.

"What the hell!?" I screeched, tightening my arms around his waist like a vice.

"Have you ever been to an apple orchard?" he asked me.

"An apple orchard?" I repeated dumbly. "Are you serious, Edward?"

"Why not. Washington _is_ the nations largest apple producer. I think it's only fitting that we experience an orchard for ourselves."

"And how do you know there's an orchard down here?" I asked. "Do you have an apple radar or something?"

"Hardly," Edward snorted. "I saw a sign along the road. Asper's Apples; nice alliteration, don't you think?"

I couldn't help but laugh, it was just such a ridiculous situation.

"How far down is it?" I asked him.

"Not sure," he replied. "I didn't catch that part of the sign."

I gaped at the back of his head for a moment, then smacked his shoulder.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"You didn't _catch that part_?" I asked incredulously. "How will we know if when we reach the place?"

"It's an apple orchard, Bella. How hard can it be to find an apple orchard?"

As it turned out, it was very hard. The gravel road snaked through a forest. A forest means lots of trees- and neither Edward nor I knew an apple tree from an oak tree, or any other kind of tree.

"I think we've gone too far," I told him after we'd been travelling down the road for half an hour.

"We'll just go a little further," Edward replied. "It has to be around here somewhere."

I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously, Edward. I'm sure we've gone too far. We should turn around and head back."

"Now Bella," Edward began sagely. "Try to live a little; walk on the wild side a little. Sometimes the unknown can be fun."

"And sometimes it's just the unknown," I retorted. "And should stay that way."

"Don't be so uptight," he turned down another road. "Look ahead- there's a barn. This is probably the right place."

Surely enough, a large red barn was just barely visible through the trees ahead of us. A neat little farm was built in a large cleared out area. There was also a sign that proudly declared Mil-Wray Milk Farms.

"This is definitely not the right farm," I said, as we passed the sign.

"So? It's still a farm. Maybe they'll have an apple orchard."

"Are those _cows_?" I asked as we zoomed by a pasture filled with black and white cattle.

"Milk cows, judging by the farm's name," Edward replied cheerfully. "Haven't you ever seen a cow before?"

"In magazines, and in the distance from a car window. Pull over. I want to get a closer look."

"You're ridiculous, Bella," Edward told me. But he pulled over next to the fence and turned the engine of the bike off. I climbed off and approached the fence warily.

"Do you want to go in?" Edward asked.

"Why would I want to do that?" I replied.

Edward gave me a crooked grin, and pulled out a disposable Kodak camera.

"For a picture stop," he replied.

"When did you get that?" I asked, reaching out and taking the camera from his hands.

"In the Wal-Mart checkout line. C'mon," he put his foot on the second to last barbed wire, and lifted the top one to create a space for me to climb through.

"I think this may be illegal," I told him. "You know, trespassing on private property," but I climbed through the fence anyway.

"Everything's a little more fun when it's illegal," Edward informed me brightly, following me through the fence. "Now, Bella, hand back the camera and let's see your prettiest smile."

"What if I want to be the photographer?" I replied coyly, hiding the camera behind my back.

"I'll give you a turn once you've been the model," Edward reached out and pulled me into his chest by the waist. "There's just something about a girl smiling for a camera that gets to me."

"That sounds really creepy," I told him, but my mind was already wandering away from the conversation and in the direction of his lips, which were hovering just inches away from mine.

And he did have really talented lips.

He leaned down and pressed them quickly against mine, before he danced back away from me.

The camera was in his hand.

"You're distracted quite easily," he informed me. "Now, Isabella, smile for camera."

I scowled at him.

"That's not a smile," Edward told me. "C'mon Bella- you have a beautiful smile. Share it with the world."

Against my better judgement, I felt my lips quirk and a blush rise in my cheeks.

"Beautiful," Edward informed me, clicking the capture button. "Now, try for sex kitten."

I laughed, and heard Edward click capture again.

Despite my usual dislike of being the center of attention, I found myself playing along with Edward and posing for the camera. We ended up finding a particularly sedate cow that just stood and chewed on grass while I got my picture taken hugging her, pretending to be terrified of her, and a variety of other poses that had both Edward and me in stitches.

I made him take his turn as well. My favourite was one of him being chased by a half-grown calf that didn't enjoy it when Edward tried to climb on it's back.

"That was priceless," I laughed, wiping tears of mirth away from eyes. "The look on your face when it kicked you!"

"Laugh it up, Swan," Edward rubbed his but. "That _hurt_."

"You shouldn't have tried to climb on its back," I told him, climbing through the fence.

"Well, I know that n- oh, shit."

"What's oh… well, shit."

There was a truck barrelling towards us down the winding lane from the farm house. We couldn't see the driver, but I was willing to bet it was a very irate farmer.

Edward and I made record time in getting the bike, turning it on, and zooming in the opposite direction down the lane.

"Is he following us?" Edward asked.

I looked back- the blue junker was falling behind, but it was still there.

"Yeah. Do you think he has a gun?"

"That's just a stereotype, Bella. Farmer's aren't all redneck hicks who believe in shoot first and ask questions later… but just in case, hold on tight."

I tightened my arms around his middle, and he pulled a sharp left down another gravel road, then took the first right we came to.

We lost the farmer fairly quickly after that.

"That was too close," I said, resting my head on Edward's back. "Way, way too close. How far to the I-90?"

Edward didn't reply. So I looked up, suddenly feeling uneasy.

"You do know how far it is to the I-90, don't you?" I demanded.

"Well," Edward drew out the word. "I did… but then we had to lose the farmer and… we're not lost. We're just, erm… uh…"

"Taking a shortcut?" suggested sarcastically, then groaned. "We'll have to go back and ask for directions."

"Are you kidding?" Edward yelped. "He'll shoot us!"

"I thought you said that was a false stereotype," I shot back.

"It is… I think. But it's better to be safe than sorry."

"You don't know the way back to the farm, either, do you?"

I could only see the edge of Edward's sheepish grin, but I could create a pretty good mental image of the full thing.

"Not a clue," he admitted.

I opened my mouth to reply, but was cut off by the engine sputtering. I closed my eyes as Edward pulled over, praying for strength.

"Please tell me that's not what I think it is," I said.

"Uh… we're out of gas. Was that what you thought it was?"

I couldn't help but laugh.

"That sounds hysterical… and rather frightening. Are you okay Bella?" Edward asked, shutting off the engine and putting up the bike's kick stand.

I got off the bike and walked away a few feet before rounding on him.

"We're lost and out of gas, and you're asking if I'm okay?" I asked him. "I'm really not, Edward."

Rather than making him look apologetic, my words caused Edward to grin.

"This'll be good for you, Bella," he informed me.

"How so?" I drawled.

"It'll teach you to loosen up, take the curves as life throws them at you. It'll teach you to look on the bright side."

"There's a bright side to this?" I snorted.

"Of course there is," Edward slung his arm companionably around my shoulders. "At least you're not stuck out here with Newton. Plus, it'll give us the chance to bond as we walk and try to find another farm," Edward put up the kick stand again and began to push the bike.

"And we couldn't have bonded perfectly well just by going on a cross country motorcycle trip together?" I asked.

"Not as much. The bike's too loud."

"You're way too cheerful for this situation," I eyed him warily. "What do you have up your sleeve?"

"Just a game of twenty questions," he replied. "You can even go first."

"Twenty questions. I don't… I've never… that has got to be one of the most random things I've ever heard."

"Don't you want to go first? I can-"

"Is it true that you and Lauren had sex on Banner's desk during detention?" I interrupted, hoping my question would either shock him or embarrass him into silence.

Instead it made him laugh.

"Nope. She scares me a little, and that voice is just annoying. I've never touched her," Edward smiled down at me. "My turn now. What the hell did you ever see in Mike Newton?"

"Nothing. It was expected that I'd date him, so I did. Do we really have to play this game?"

"Yes. It's fun. Your cell phone is ringing."

I blinked, then looked at the purse I had slung over my shoulder. Sure enough, there was a ringing coming from it. I reached in and pulled out the cell just as it stopped ringing. I had twenty missed calls- five from Charlie, six from Renee, my mom, two from Jessica, and seven from Mike.

"Popular girl," Edward commented, looking over my shoulder. "You have fifteen texts, too."

I opened the inbox and saw three messages from Renee, two from Jessica, and ten from Mike.

They all contained the same variation of the message _what the hell are you thinking running off with Edward Cullen? _ Mike's even included saying that if I came back now, he'd be willing to forget my faux pas and take me back. I snorted at that.

I was about to put my phone back, when I got another call. It was Mike.

"Might as well answer it," Edward didn't look nearly as cheerful anymore. He actually looked rather angry, and was staring straight ahead. I bit my lip, before making my choice.

It didn't matter that we were lost, walking down a back country trail, and gas-less. I had felt more alive, and had way more fun in the past sixteen hours with Edward than I'd had since I was a little kid just discovering bubble wrap.

I pressed talk and put the phone to my ear.

"Hey Mike, I can't talk right now. Edward is doing this really amazing thing with his tongue, and the interruption is really throwing off the vibe. Don't call back," I flipped the phone shut again and tossed it into the ditch. "We'll have to use yours from now on."

Edward was gaping at me as if he'd never seen me before.

"What?" I asked.

"You," his voice came out strangled, so he cleared his throat and tried again. "You do realize that he's going to tell everyone in Forks what you said, don't you?"

"So?" I replied.

"Won't it bother you that everyone will think that you're uh… sleeping with me when you're not?"

I gave a secretive grin and surveyed him closely.

"Does it bother you?" I replied. I was pretty sure I had been reading his signals correctly- I mean, they may not have been frenchies, but he had still kissed me twice and I was pretty sure I wasn't the only one feeling sparks.

"I… well… no," he said at last. "It really doesn't," the look in his eyes said it all.

I had definitely _not_ been mis-reading the signals.

"Well then. I just dumped a total douche, so I'm not looking to getting involved right now, but this country is big Edward, and if the start is any indication, our trip may take while," I looked at him from below my eyelashes, hoping I was looking properly coy. "A lot can happen in that time."

My earlier may not have shocked him into silence, but that certainly did.

I felt my lips curve in a secretive grin and I allowed myself to enjoy the knowledge that I held appeal for someone as attractive as Edward Cullen for a moment.

It felt _really_ good.

_**A/N2: Well, that was chapter four. Don't forget to give me ideas for stops for Edward and Bella to make along their journey. The musical inspiration for this chapter was "Truck Got Stuck" by Corb Lund. Please review, they make me happy, and a happy Lynyrd writes that much faster ;). Look for the next update on Wednesday.**_


	5. Georgia

_**A.N: And here is part two of twenty questions/the motorcycle ran out of gas. Tomorrow's a full day for me, so I decided to put this up tonight before I go to bed. I personally like the ending of this one. I love all the feedback I'm getting, and don't forget to give me ideas about stops along the way- remember, they can be completely fictional. Now, without further ado:**_

**Five. Georgia**

"Why did you move to Forks?" Edward asked after a while, breaking the silence that had fallen after Mike's phone call and my reaction to it. "Didn't you live with your mom or something before that? In Phoenix?"

"How did you know that?" I asked. Edward hadn't lived in Forks when I had moved here permanently- back when I was twelve.

"Erm… everyone knew it," he replied uneasily, a suspicious blush rising to his cheeks. "It's my turn to ask the question."

I eyed him suspiciously, but decided to play along.

"Renee re-married. Phil's a nice guy, but they were a bit too enthusiastic and the walls in that house were really thin," I shrugged. "I decided to go live with Charlie to give them a newlywed period, and just ended up staying. No twelve year old wants to know _that_ much about her mother's personal life. Now it's my turn. How did you really know about my living in Phoenix?"

"I already told you-"

"Don't give me the bullcrap story, Edward. I want the truth."

To my surprise, Edward blushed. It was faint, a light pink rather than the bright red that normally lit my face when I was embarrassed, but it was still a blush.

"I pass," he said.

"You can't do that," I argued. "The whole point of twenty questions is that you have to answer the questions."

"There's a new rule- we each get a pass, and I'm using mine," Edward replied, sounding like a prim and proper kindergarten teacher.

I snorted in laughter.

"What's so funny?" he asked, and the look of confusion on his face was adorable.

"Your voice," I snickered. "I had a sudden flashback to my kindergarten teacher, Mr. Alfredson. He used that exact same tone when one of us asked a question that he didn't feel he could answer."

"Your kindergarten teacher couldn't answer the questions of a five year old?" Edward asked dryly. "What kind of teachers did you have in Phoenix?"

"He could answer them," I replied. "But he felt like he _shouldn't_ answer when Jimmy Abrams asked him where babies came from."

We both snickered.

"And why was Jimmy Abrams asking his teacher where babies came from?" Edward asked.

"Oh, because we had just gotten married, and though that we should have a baby to play with," I replied. "He had overheard his Mom talking about how his aunt and her new husband were going to spend their honeymoon trying to get a baby. We though it's what you were supposed to do when you were married," I grinned as Edward roared with laughter.

"How do you remember this stuff?" he managed to wheeze out.

"Jimmy had a great effect on me," I told him. "He was my first love. Try not to drop the bike- the last thing we need is damaged on top of gas-less."

I continued walking, and Edward caught up after a few minutes, once he had himself together again.

"So… you and Jimmy, are you still in touch?" he asked.

"I think it's my turn to ask questions," I replied. "After all, you never answered the last one I asked. Where did you live before Forks?"

"Denali, Alaska," he replied. "My first love was a girl named Kate, whom I later dumped for her sister Irina, because Irina had chocolate cookies, while Kate just had oatmeal."

"That's terrible," I smacked his arm. "The poor girl must have been devastated."

"No, she ran off to Timmy Cochrane and his crayon tower. Truthfully, if I hadn't ended it I think she would have," he grinned down at me. "So… Jimmy Abrams?"

"We lasted until we were seven. Kathy Woods was just as willing to share her lunch as I was, and _she_ could throw a baseball," I put my hands over my heart in mock distress. "I was heartbroken, and Jimmy didn't get invited to my birthday party that year. It wasn't an amicable break up."

That had Edward snickering again.

"What about actual girlfriends?" I asked him, once he'd stopped laughing. "Many of those?"

"Not really," he replied. "I moved to Forks when I reached the age where girls were interesting, and, well…" he eyed me out of the corner of his eye. "There weren't really any interesting girls who were available."

"What about Angela? Didn't you date her for a while before she hooked up with Ben Cheney?" I asked, fighting down a bit of disappointment. No interesting girls… but I could have sworn…

Maybe I had read him wrong earlier, after all.

"We went out on three dates before she dumped me for Ben," he shrugged. "Truthfully, I asked her out because I knew she was into Ben, and he was into her, but neither of them were making any moves. When I started taking her out, it made Ben realize he couldn't sit back forever if he wanted her."

I stared at him, I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help myself. It was just so incredibly _sweet_.

I had never seen, or heard, of that side of Edward before.

"What?" he asked me. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No," I started slowly. "It's just… I never realized you were that sweet before."

Another one of those light pink blushes rose on his cheeks.

"I'm not sweet," he replied. "I'm just… Angela's a nice girl, and she deserved to be happy."

My eyes narrowed at the uncertainty in his voice as he explained himself.

"You're lying!" I declared. "There's another reason that you helped Angela out."

"Don't you think she's a nice girl?" he asked, trying to distract me.

"Of course I think she's a nice girl. She's one of my best friends. You're not going to distract me that easily."

Edward looked around, almost as if panicked, before his eyes lit on something and he relaxed.

"There's a farm," he pointed ahead, to where there was another barn, this one white, visible amongst the threes.

That distracted me.

"Yes," I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck and hugged him, giving myself a brief second to enjoy the warmth of the contact. I could almost feel the static between us- something that had never been there with Mike.

Deciding I couldn't drag the hug out any longer, I began to pull away. Edward's arm banded around me, pulling me back into his side. I looked up in surprise at his actions, and Edward took the chance to swoop down and give me another brief kiss- just a brush, like the others have been. He then let me go and continued to walk.

"Hey!" I stalked after him. "You can't keep doing that!"

"Doing what?" Edward's voice was amused, and so were his eyes when he looked down at me.

"Giving me those… those… pecks!" I replied indignantly. "Do you realize how irritating it is, getting those, then having you just walk away?"

"Oh… would you rather I stay longer?" Edward asked.

"Yes!" I shouted without thinking. When my brain caught up with my mind, I could feel my face light on fire as I buried it in my hands. "Oh God. Ignore that. Forget I ever spoke," my voice was muffled my hands, but I didn't care. I was never going to be able to look at him again.

I heard him chuckle, then heard metal scraping before he reached out with both hands to pry my own from my face.

"Bella, has anyone told you that you're beautiful?" he asked, smiling down at me.

"Huh?" was my eloquent reply.

"You really are, you know. Especially when you blush like his," he released one of my hands to run his fingertips down my cheek, which caused me to flush darker. He chuckled again and released me. He turned back to the bike, kicked up the kickstand once more, and continued to walk.

I stood still and watched him walk away, as I gaped like a fish, for several seconds before I ran to catch up.

"I've already humiliated myself, so I might as well keep it up," I said, grasping his arm to stop him. "If you think I'm so beautiful, then why won't you really kiss me?"

"You're still mad at Mike, aren't you?" he asked after surveying me silently for a moment.

"I hate it when people answer a question with a question," I grumbled. Edward raised his brow and moved to start walking again, so I scurried in front of him. "Okay, yes. I'm still angry. I'm allowed to be, aren't I? He _did_ cheat on me with Jess."

"You have every right to be pissed off at him," Edward agreed. "He's a total douche, and the next time I see him, I'll probably punch him for you. But Bella, when I really kiss you, you won't care enough to be mad at him anymore."

"What?"

"When we kiss for real, and I have no doubt it will happen, it won't be because I'm your rebound. It will be because you want me every bit as much as I've wanted you for the past four years," that soft look was in his eyes again. "I have no doubt that you'll be worth the wait."

He left me standing in the middle of the road, gaping like a fool for the second time and completely dumbfounded.

_Four years_?

He had wanted me for _four years_?

That's how long he'd been living in Forks.

So… when he said that no one interesting was available, he had meant that I'd been dating Mike.

I felt my lips quirk. Yes, I was still mad at Mike… but I wouldn't be. Not forever. Not for much longer.

And then.

Four _god damn_ years.

I'd be sure to make each and every second he'd waited worth it.

_**A.N2: The musical inspiration (and, of course, title) for this chapter, comes from the lovely Carolyn Dawn Johnson and her song "Georgia". I'm from Canada, and I love me the Canadian country singers, so you'll find lots of songs from them. I was also listening to Demi Lovato's "Catch Me" again, cause it's just so pretty and describes the sorry so well. Don't forget to review, because I'm a review whore ;)**_


	6. Clarification

_**A/N: Okay, so they still have no gas, but they will get some next chapter, and they'll be back on the road in chapter eight. These are necessary for character development… so her it is:**_

**Six. Clarification **

**Edward POV**

I hadn't planned on letting Bella know my intentions so early. In fact, I remembered distinctly planning on keeping my feelings to myself until I felt that she was over Mike and ready to hear them.

But, she had looked so damn… _fiery_ when she was yelling at me about the "kiss" I had given her, and then so mortified when she realized what she had said. I wanted to see the fire again. Her blush was beautiful, but the fire…

The fire had been _breathtaking_.

"Do you think that this farmer will be friendlier than the last one?" she asked, as she caught up with me. I wasn't sure if her acting as if I hadn't just told her I had wanted her for the last four years was a good thing or not, but her small, secretive smile made me believe that, perhaps, she wasn't as hung up over Mike as I had thought.

"We _were_ caught taking pictures with the last one's cows," I pointed out amused. "And we don't _actually_ know what his reaction was."

"It could have been a her," Bella replied in a mock severe tone. "Equality, Edward- women can be farmers too."

"I didn't know you were a feminist, Bella," I replied in the same tone. "I'm finding out all sorts of interesting tid-bits about you. Are you the type who avoids shaving their legs too?"

She punched me in the arm, and I was surprised to find that it actually hurt. Bella had never struck me as the type to be able to throw a punch.

"Ouch. Where'd you learn to hit like that?" I yelped. I would have rubbed the spot, but I needed both hands to push the bike.

"Let me guess, you're a male chauvinist who believes that girls shouldn't be able to hit?" Her face was severe, but there was an amused spark hidden in the depths of her eyes that made me think that I wasn't in quite as much trouble as she'd have me believe I was. "If you must know, Charlie taught me when I was fourteen and I broke my hand punching Jacob Black in the jaw."

I felt my jaw go slack as I stared at her. _Bella_ breaking her hand _punching_ some guy? It didn't quite add up to the image I had created of her.

It made it so much better.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" she asked uneasily.

"I'm surprised… and impressed. Who's Jacob Black and why'd you punch him?"

She blushed and rubbed the back of her neck.

"I don't think it's your turn to ask the questions anymore," she said. "So I'll ask one instead. What are you doing in the fall?"

"I don't know, and you're not distracting me that easily," I replied. "We're not playing twenty questions anymore, now we're playing Bella spills her deep, dark, punching guys in the jaw secrets."

"How can you not know?" Bella gaped at me. "It's _July_, Edward. I don't think anyone still accepts applications."

I felt my lips tighten. It was an argument Carlisle and I had gotten in often. He wanted me to decide on my future, and I didn't know what I wanted to do.

Well, that was a lie. I knew what I wanted to do. I just knew I'd never get to do it.

"Can we go back to your Jacob Black story?" I asked, mentally wincing at the terseness in my voice.

"That's bullshit, Edward!" Bella snapped. "You made me answer all your questions about Mike and why I date him, yet you won't answer this one? You can't expect me to spill when you won't answer a question the moment it gets serious."

"Oh, yes, because you answered my question about Mike so well. It was _expected_ of you? That's the most bullshit answer I've ever heard. You don't screw somebody you don't like because other people _expect _you to, Bella."

"_What_ did you say?" Bella's voice became dangerous, but I ignored it.

"You heard me," I replied irritably.

"Who told you I was _screwing_ Mike?" the snap of her voice was like the crack of a whip.

"He's told everyone who will pay attention, Bella. Did you really think _Mike_ would keep something like popping the police chief's daughter's cherry _quiet_? I'm almost surprised Chief Swan himself never heard about it," talking about this wasn't helping my temper. It was just bringing back to mind the jealous anger I had felt when I heard Newton bragging to Tyler Crowley and Eric Yorkie about it back in September.

"That bastard!" Bella hissed. "That no good, dirty rotten, snake in the fucking grass bastard!"

"You _did_ expect Newton to keep silent? I didn't know you were that naïve."

"I wouldn't expect Mike to keep it quiet, if it had _actually_ happened!" Bella snapped at me. "But I never _screwed_ Mike. That son of a fucking bitch!"

"Really?" I felt my bad mood evaporating with every name Bella called Newton.

"No!" she shouted at me. "And I can't believe you believed that he had!"

She stomped ahead irritably, but the effect was ruined somewhat when she stumbled over a stray rock, which caused her to spout out a jumble of curses against rocks, Mike Newton, and motorcycle driving idiots.

"I don't get why you're so angry at me!" I called after her. "You've been dating him for four years, it's not so unbelievable that you'd have slept with him by now."

Bella stopped, and spun on her heel in a surprisingly graceful move. Her eyes burned with fire, her entire countenance was angry, and, once again, she looked entirely breathtaking. She stalked towards me, her eyes narrowed and trained on my face.

"Is that why you're doing this… this… seducing thing?" she hissed at me, stopping when she was a foot away from me. "Because you think I'm _easy_ or something?"

"What?" I felt completely foolish as spluttered, but Bella's word had completely shocked me. "_Easy_? I don't think…I know you're not," I felt my own anger rise. "For fuck's sake, do you really think I'm that big of a jerk off? If anyone should be asking about intentions, it should be me. Why did you come with me, Bella? Because you actually wanted to, or because it was a good way flip off the police chief and precious Mike Newton?"

"I didn't think you were a jerk off until now!" Bella shouted back. "I came with you because when I spoke with you, you _listened_. No one has _ever_ done that before. I came with you because it was crazy, and insane, and you did that mouth grazing thing asking me to try, and it made me _want_ to. And now look where I am- halfway down the lane of a damn farm with a guy I hardly know, and a motorcycle with no gas. Impulse is over-rated!"

"Then we'll fill up and turn around, and I can return you to Forks, and Newton, and you and Charlie can pretend that you never ran off with that trouble-making Cullen boy!" We were in each other's faces now. Hers was red with anger, and I doubted mine was much better.

"God dammit, no!" she snarled. "You're a jerk, Edward Cullen, but you're the first damn jerk I've met who actually gave a damn about what I wanted, and what I had to say. So, despite the fact that it's over-rated, I'm going to keep being impulsive. We're going to fill up with gas, and we're going to keep driving to wherever the hell it is we're going. And along the way, I'm going to forget about Mike fucking Newton and the fact that everyone thinks I put out for him, and you're going to gain some ambition and decide to do something with you're future. And you're going to enjoy it!"

Bella was left breathing deeply after her rant, her cheeks red, her eyes flashing, and her chest heaving. Esme would have been ashamed, but the heaving chest did attract my attention for a brief period of time before I snapped my eyes back up to hers. My anger didn't stand a chance in the face of the picture Bella made, and I soon found myself laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" she snapped.

"You're magnificent when you're angry," I informed her. "Completely and utterly breathtaking," I put down the kick stand so that I could grasp Bella's face in my hands and plant a loud kiss on her mouth, breaking away quickly. "And I have ambition."

"Then why so testy when I asked about your plans?" Bella was obviously still peeved, but the way she touched her lips made me believe that I would be forgiven.

"I have a criminal record. They frown on that in med-school."

"You have a juvenile record that was sealed when you turned eighteen," Bella rolled her eyes. "Now, you have some traffic infractions. So does half the freaking country."

"How do you know that?" I asked her suspiciously.

"I'm the police chief's daughter," she retorted. "Charlie bitches about that sort of stuff to me all the time."

"You need letters of recommendation- no one would give me any."

Bella became amused.

"Now you're being ridiculous. You have to complete a degree before med-school. You just excel and then get your University Profs to write you reference letters. They're not going to care about what your biology teacher in high school thought of you, Edward."

I looked at her.

"So you actually think I could do it? Become a doctor."

"Why not? Your GPA is good, and you're smart. Why wouldn't you be able to?"

"Because I'm Edward Cullen and will be nothing more than a delinquent," I retorted.

"If Mike can be expected to succeed, I think you'll be just fine," she smirked. "After all, the only reason he passed Biology is because I did the homework with him and studied for tests," her looked turned sour. "Although apparently we were actually getting down and dirty in that time if you believe him."

"I'm sorry I did," I told her.

"You should be," she agreed, then sighed. "Sorry… I overreacted. You were right, we've been dating for four years. Most girls would have, uhm… put out by now."

"I'm glad," I cleared my throat when she raised an eyebrow at me. "That you didn't, uh… put out for him, I mean… and this is incredibly awkward, so I'll be shutting up now."

I was embarrassed, but it was almost worth it when she threw back her head and laughed.

"C'mon, Edward," she looped her arm through mine. "Let's get some gas and get this show back on the road."

I smiled down at her, glad that we were falling back into the easy camaraderie we'd had up until the explosive argument.

"That, Ms. Swan, sounds like an excellent idea."

We were almost to the farm house when Bella spoke again.

"And I'm glad too," she grinned when I frowned at her in confusion. "That I didn't put out for Mike. There are _way_ better guys out there."

The look she sent me had me gulping.

I _would_ wait until I was sure she was over Mike before I made my real move.

I just wished Bella would make it a bit easier on me.

_**A.N2: So this chapter didn't really have any musical inspiration. It's more of a filler chapter that helps to move their relationship along. And it gave me an excuse to let Bella's potty mouth out to play, which is always fun. And don't forget- give me ideas for things for them to stop and see!! They can be real, fictional, cool, or completely silly. Until Wednesday.**_


	7. Oh My My

_**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter. Although I do have to ask **_**australianvamp**_** what kind of cookies I'll be getting if I say what you want to hear. I do really like cookies and am easily bribed by them. Now, I'll leave you to enjoy:**_

**Seven. Oh My My**

The look on Edward's face at my innuendo dispelled what little anger was left towards him. Yes, it was petty, but sometimes a girl had to be petty.

Especially when she found out that her ex-boyfriend had been telling everyone that she had been sleeping with him when she _hadn't_.

Never again would she go out with someone because of peer pressure.

"Erm… I guess I'll ah see if anybody's home," Edward said. His voice was awkward, but his eyes almost burned me as he looked at me. It made me shiver, and I found myself wondering for the thousandth time wondering what it would be like when he finally kissed me for real.

I wondered if I'd survive the experience, or find myself burned alive. If the latter, then what a way to go.

Shaking off the images that brought to mind, I took the bike from Edward and held it while he approached the farm house door. It was a cute little place. Just one level, and painted bright yellow with three cement steps up to the door. Looking back at me once nervously, Edward rang the door bell and waited.

When we had waited for long enough to make me think no one was home, the door was opened by a small, grey-haired woman in a pink cardigan.

"Hello young man," she greeted. "Can I help you with something?"

"Uh, yes… Mrs…." Edward trailed off and the woman filled in her name.

"Madison King, but you can call me Maddie."

"Thanks… Maddie. My companion and I," he motioned back at me, "we've run out of gas. I was wondering if you might have some that we could fill up with? We'll pay you."

"You've been riding on that monstrosity?" Maddie put on a pair of glasses so she could see me and the bike better. "That looks awfully dangerous, and to make that young girl ride behind you," Maddie put her hands on her hips, "don't you know how to treat a lady, Mr.-"

"Cullen," I pushed the bike up so I was closer. "His name is Edward Cullen, and I'm Bella Swan Ms. Maddie. He's been a perfect gentleman this whole trip, ma'am. Really."

"And do your parents approve of this?" Maddie motioned between Edward and I. "You two can't be any older than twenty, and you're gallivanting off together."

"Well…you see…" I felt myself blush, which made Maddie cackle happily.

"I was just fooling, girl child. Me and my Henry were married fifty-five years before he passed, and my daddy didn't approve of him for one minute. I didn't care though. We ran off right after he was done school, and I never regretted a single second, even when my daddy told me to never come home."

"Did your dad ever forgive you?" I asked curiously.

"He did," Maddie replied. "When he saw how happy Henry made me, and when I put his first grandbaby in his arms. My daddy may have though I could have done better, but he couldn't deny no one loved me more than my Henry," she smiled at us. "Now, about that gas. There's a tank in the back yard, but it's far too late for the two of you to be heading off now. I have a spare room for you, young Bella, and Mr. Cullen here can sleep on the couch," her gaze became severe. "I ran off with my Henry, but there was no canoodling until we were married, and there won't be any unwed hanky panky under my roof, are we clear?"

"As crystal," Edward agreed, "but you don't have to do this Ms. Maddy. We can just fill up and-"

Maddie wagged her finger at Edward.

"Shush up, you. I said it was too late, and I mean it. I won't be worrying about the pair of you crashing in the dark, and gravel can be treacherous when you don't know it, even in the day time. I insist you come in. I was just making supper, and I always make too much."

I put the kick stand down on the bike and took the keys out of the ignition, elbowing Edward in the ribs as I climbed the steps when he opened his mouth to argue again.

"Just accept her invite. It is getting dark," I hissed quietly to him, before turning a smile on Maddie. "Thank-you very much, Ms. Maddie."

"Oh, it's no problem, Bella. Come on in and make yourself at home."

The interior of the house was painted a more sedate yellow than the outside, almost a cream color. It also smelled delicious- I was pretty sure that Maddie must be making roast beef. As I followed Maddie in, a picture on the wall caught my eye. It was a beautiful young woman in a veil. Behind her stood a tall, striking young man dressed in a sedate black suit who had his hands on her shoulders.

"Me and my Henry on our wedding day," Maddie said, nodding at the picture.

"How long ago did he pass?" I asked her quietly.

"Six months," Maddie replied.

"I'm so sorry," Edward said.

"Take a seat," Maddie led us into the kitchen/dining room and pointed at chairs at the table. "And don't be sorry. I had fifty-five good years and gave birth to five children with Henry," her smile was fond. "He had diabetes, and he lasted a good thirty years longer than we thought he would. He was a good man."

"It sounds like it. You must have really loved him."

"From the moment I laid eyes on him," Maddie agreed. "He was the town's trouble maker, you see. Always into something, my Henry. But I saw the good inside him. All it needed was a woman to bring it out," she patted my hand. "That's all a man ever really needs, is a woman to bring out the good. The rest just falls into place itself," a timer went off. "That's the roast ready. No, don't get up dear. You're the guests, just stay sitting."

"So," Edward murmured to me as Maddie moved around the kitchen dishing everything up. "Are you going to be the woman to bring out the good in me?"

"If you're asking me to marry you," I murmured back, "then you're crazy. As for bringing out the good in you, you seem to just keep being wicked around me."

Edward grinned.

"True, but I bet Henry wasn't _always_ good around Maddie."

I couldn't help but giggle, even as I smacked Edward's arm.

"Behave."

"Dig in kids," Maddie said, brining the food to the table. It smelled wonderful, and made my stomach grumble, reminding me that we hadn't eaten anything since breakfast that morning.

"It looks delicious, Ms. Maddie," Edward said.

"It'll taste that way, too," Maddie agreed. "I make a champion roast beef."

I smiled at the boast, but as I took the first bite I couldn't disagree with Maddie's words. I was pretty sure I had never eaten meat that tasted that good before in my life.

The rest of the meal passed with very little conversation. Edward and I were too busy stuffing food into our mouths as quickly as we could without making Maddie lecture us about taking our time (which she did, when Edward almost choked on a piece of carrot at one point).

"So, where are you kids from?" Maddie asked after supper as I helped her change the sheets on the guest bed.

"Ummm… Forks," I replied. "It's a really small town to the west."

"I see. So you and Edward decided you wanted to get out and started heading east then?" Maddie watched me shrewdly as she smoothed the comforter to rid it of wrinkles.

"Sort of," I bit my lip, then decided to hell with it and decided to tell her everything. "I caught my boyfriend cheating on me on Saturday night. It was with a girl who was supposed to be one of my best friends. While I was out walking and brooding the next day, I came across Edward. He offered to give me a ride on his motorcycle, and along the way we decided to just keep driving," I shrugged and sat on the bed. "And here we are."

"And here you are," Maddie agreed. "That boy's crazy about you."

I blushed and looked down.

"Yeah… apparently," I looked out the door of the room, towards where I knew Edward and living room were. "He told me he's had a thing for me for four years. That's as long as he's lived in Forks."

"That's a long time for a boy to hold a torch," Maddie looked at me severely. "Are you being safe?"

I stared at her in a mixture of horror and shock.

"What? No…we're not… I mean…. Oh god, what do I even _say_ to that?"

"You say 'yes, Maddie,'" she patted my cheek. "Now, that has the bed ready for you. I'll just be grabbing Edward some blankets, then I'll call it a night. This old body can't stay up as late as it once could."

I watched Maddie walk away, still in shock. I would have expected something like that from Renee, but from a little old lady who lived on an _apple_ farm? I shook my head and fell backwards on the bed, chuckling softly.

You met such interesting people on the road.

-*-

I awoke bright and early the next morning- six forty-five to be exact. Maddie and Edward were already up and chatting amicably in the kitchen. Edward was squeezing juice out of an orange, while Maddie fried potatoes on the stove top.

"Morning," I yawned. "How long have you been up?"

"Not long," Edward replied, sliding a glass of orange juice across the counter towards me. "Only about fifteen minutes for me."

"I get up at six every morning," Maddie replied. "It's become habit over the years. How do you like your eggs, Bella?"

"Oh… scrambled is fine, thanks," I replied, not entirely able to meet Maddie's eyes after the the whole safe sex debacle of the night before. She grinned at me, a wicked glint in her eyes. She knew exactly what I was thinking, and she was getting a kick out of it.

"And you, Edward?"

"Over-easy please, Ms. Maddie."

The breakfast was delicious, with pancakes, eggs, fried potatoes, the orange juice, and toast with strawberry jam. I knew I ate more than I should have, but after our experience the previous day I wasn't entirely sure when we'd get to eat again, so I took advantage of the home made meal.

"That was delicious," I told Maddie. "Thank-you so much for everything."

"Oh, it was my pleasure, dear. Now, I'm the pair of you want to get on the road bright and early. The gas tanks are out back by the pig pen. You'll want to use the one on the right, the other is purple dyed. You wouldn't want to hit a check point with that fuelling your bike. Do you know how to get to the Interstate?"

Twenty minutes, many thanks, and detailed directions to the I-90 later, Edward had finished filling the gas tank, and we were once again headed for the unknown.

"Where to now, captain?" I asked.

"Wherever we want, skipper," Edward laughed back.

_**A/N2: And they are back on the road. For this chapter, the main inspiration was Mary's Song (Oh My My) by Taylor Swift. Can you tell I'm a Swift fan yet? Now, I want your opinion on the next story I think I'll work on. It won't be posted until **_**God Love Her**_** is done, but here's the summary: **_

**Edward is a brilliant but troubled teen lost in his own world. Esme is the psychologist hired to bring him back to Earth. Bella is the tie that binds them together irrevocably. What happens when a doctor hired to help someone is torn between loyalty to her patient, and loyalty to her family? Esme finds out when Bella becomes involved with Edward. As Edward is pulled out of his world and back to the real one, Esme watches as Bella as pulled into the world Edward has created and is pulled ever closer to the edge of an abyss from which she'll never recover.**


	8. Unwritten

_**A/N: Okay, first thing's first- to those who haven't listened to the New Moon soundtrack, you should go and look up the song **_**Satellite Heart **_**sung by Anya Marina, because it's the **_**perfect**_** New Moon song. I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and here's a chapter that's double the normal length just for all of you:**_

**Eight. Unwritten**

With Maddie's instructions, we managed to find the I-90 with ease. Our adventure in the back roads of Washington had been an experience, but I was relieved to finally turn into the speeding traffic of the Interstate. We drove until we came to a tourist rest stop where Edward pulled in.

"Why are we stopping?" I asked as he killed the engine and we jumped off the bike. He rolled the bike up to a picnic table that was, I assumed, set out for picnic purposes.

"We have to decide where we go from here," Edward replied brightly, pulling out a map and several tourist brochures that he had in his bag.

"Where'd you get those?" I asked him.

"From the restaurant while you were in the washroom yesterday morning," he replied, slapping down all but one of the brochures, which he opened and began to read with earnestness worthy of a kindergartener reading their first "Little Miss" book.

"You're a bit of a dork," I told him, sitting down on the table's edge and picking up another brochure.

"I've never been called a dork before," Edward mused, looking at me over the top of the brochure. "Trouble, a delinquent, even an asshole, but never a dork."

"Well…. You _are_ trouble. But you're a dork as well," I looked at the brochure, "there's a large cat zoo twenty miles from Spokane. That could be cool. Why are you looking at me like I killed your puppy?"

His green eyes were looking at me with sadness, as if what I had just said had broken his heart. I thought I maybe saw an amused spark behind the sadness, but I couldn't be sure.

"You think I'm trouble," he told me sadly. "And I had been tying so hard to make you think better of me."

I bit my lip as I looked at him. I wasn't sure if he was yanking my chain or not. I could've swore I saw some amusement, but his voice sounded so sad…

"You _are_ trouble," I told him. "But that's okay. I don't think you're quite beyond redemption, yet."

"All a man really needs to redeem himself is the love of a good woman," Edward's voice and eyes were still solemn, but I was positive he was yanking my chain now. "Are you going to be that woman for me?"

"Didn't we already go over this at Maddie's," I asked, then sighed dramatically when he just continued to look at me "soulfully" and decided to play along. "I just don't know, Edward. After all, I'm just the daughter of the police chief who was ruined by the town's bad boy. Do you really think I'm the one who can offer you redemption? I think Angela, as the Minister's daughter, would be a much better choice."

"No. I don't need God, I need someone to teach me to be a law abiding citizen. There's only one thing for it. We have to elope together, Isabella," now he was acting dramatically, being silly. "I'll give you back your good name, and you can help me to gain one. Then we'll settle in the suburbs with our dog, and two point five children."

"Two point five children?" I raised an eyebrow. "And do they have names?"

"Theresa and Gabriel. It's undecided if we'll have a third or not."

I wasn't as good an actor as Edward, and I couldn't hold back my laugher any longer.

"You're ridiculous," I laughed. "Completely and utterly ridiculous."

Edward didn't reply, so I looked up at him. I cut off mid-laugh as I felt my breath catch. That look was back in his eyes. That soft look that made my mouth go dry and my heart beat erratically.

"Stop looking at me like that," I murmured, not able to raise my voice above a whisper.

"Like what?" Edward was suddenly in front of me, standing in between my legs and completely invading my personal bubble. I swallowed and tightened my grip on the table. My hands wanted to latch onto his shoulders all of the sudden, but I didn't think that would be good- not quite yet.

"That… that soft look. Like you can't believe I'm real or something."

Edward's fingers came up to catch a strand of my hair between them. He twirled it around his pointer finger and stroked it with his thumb.

"Like silk," he murmured, then turned his green eyes back to mine. "I'm still having trouble believing you're here. I half-expect to wake up and find it was all a dream."

"Why didn't you say anything to me? Four years… it's a long time."

"You were with Mike," he replied. "I did make an attempt to get your attention once, but it didn't work…"

"Angela… did you date her to make me jealous?" I met his green eyes. I didn't think that was something Edward would do, but, despite it feeling like forever, I had only really gotten to know him in the last day, so I couldn't say for sure.

"Close," Edward released the strand of my hair so that he could bury his hand under it and cup the back of my head. "Angela was your best friend… and she was _nice_, not like Lauren or Jessica. I saw that she had a thing for Ben, and that he had a thing for her but was too shy to act on it. I thought to kill two birds with one stone- I'd help Angela, and in the process I'd get your attention. I was heartbroken when it didn't work, when you didn't even seem to look away from Mike for a second."

"That's not true," I replied in a murmur. "I looked, but you were never looking back," I felt a blush crawling up my cheeks. "I kind of had a crush on you when you first came to Forks."

"You did?" Edward tipped my face up when I tried to stare at his collar bone rather than look him in the eyes.

"I did," I agreed. "Then you lit the stop sign on fire, and it was decided you were trouble."

"What if I told you I didn't light the stop sign on fire?" Edward leaned closer so our noses brushed.

"You were caught with the gas can," I pointed out dryly. Edward chuckled.

"Okay, so I really did light the stop sign on fire. In my defence, I've never done anything like that since."

I thought back to the day in freshman year, and mentally recounted everything that had happened since.

He was right, I realized. Beyond the one time, he hadn't really done anything truly troublesome. So he had some speeding tickets and an underage drinking? So did over half the population of Forks High. Hell, I would have had an underage drinking charge if it weren't for the fact that I knew when Charlie would be out of town and no one ever expected the Chief's daughter to allow under-age drinking in the house of a man of the law.

"You never told me why you did it," I said to him. "And 'bored' doesn't cut it."

"You never said why you punched Jacob Black," Edward shot back.

"He tried to kiss me. I didn't appreciate it. It hurt me more than it hurt him. Your turn," I replied briskly.

"I wanted your attention, even if it was bad. I had it for a while. You stared at me like I was the big bad wolf for about a week afterwards. I preened under that attention. I really want to kiss you."

"That's a stupid reason to light a stop sign on fire. And I really want you to kiss me."

"I was fifteen," Edward's lips quirked. "We don't think straight at fifteen. I was incredibly stupid," he rested his forehead on mine. "And I can't kiss you yet. You still care about Mike."

"I never cared about Mike. Kiss me."

He pressed his lips to my forehead and pulled away.

"It's only been two days. You still care, even if it's just because he didn't have the decency to break up with you before he went down on Stanley. Have you ever wanted to see a dachshund parade?" he waved a pamphlet in my face.

"Not really," I pouted. "Why?"

"Because, we're going to go see one at Ellensburg," he held up the camera and grinned at me. "I want a picture with all the cute little puppies."

I snorted and gathered up the rest of the pamphlets to follow him to the bike.

"I never know what to expect of you, Edward Cullen," I informed him.

"Good," he grinned back. "I'd hate to become predictable."

-*-

Ellensburg was bigger than I had expected, considering that it held an annual Dachshunds on Parade every year.

"That's a lot of dogs," I stated, looking around as Edward led me by the hand through what appeared to be the dachshund preparation area. "And I don't think we're supposed to be here," I added when we got yelled at for getting too close to a black dachshund, causing it to start yipping angrily at us.

"No one's kicked us out, yet," Edward replied cheerfully, leaning down so he could see the yipping dog better. "Is this yours, ma'am?" he asked the elderly lady who had been glaring at us. He grinned up at her, before he froze and his eyes widened comically.

"I remember you!" the lady said. "You're those two horrible young people that were talking about… about… _sexual things_," she lowered her voice on the last two words, as if she would be lynched for saying 'sex' out loud.

"Oh… well…" I looked at Edward helplessly as I finally recognized her as the woman who had been so insulted by us on the elevator in the Seattle motel. "It's nice seeing you again…"

The woman stared at me blankly for a moment, then began to screech for someone named 'Jasper.' Edward grasped my wrist and pulled me through the crowd of dachshunds and their owners as a tall, blonde haired man began to move towards us. I stumbled and nearly fell, so Edward bent down to hook his arm under my legs and swooped me up bridal style so that we could move more quickly through the gathering of dogs and owners, most of whom were now staring at us.

"What are you doing Edward?" I demanded, my arms going around his neck in an automatic motion, that caused me to mold myself closer to him. I almost closed my eyes at the feeling. I could feel Edward's muscles through the black t-shirt he wore… and they were pretty impressive.

"I don't want to stick around to chat with Jasper," Edward replied. "He wasn't exactly small."

I looked over his shoulder to see a resigned looking Jasper following us swiftly. Edward was right. Jasper wasn't bulky, but he still had a good fifteen pounds on Edward.

"Move faster," I told him. "He's following."

"Well, crap," was Edward's eloquent reply. He sped up his pace, tightening his hold on me. I took all my concentration to ignore the feel of his body against mine and keep an eye on the pursuing Jasper.

We had now left the dog owner area and had now found the milling crowd of townspeople who were waiting for the parade to begin. Without a word, Edward dove into it. I pulled my feet in as tight as I could to avoid hitting people with my shoes, but we still got a few glares.

"I don't think pissing more people off is gonna help, Edard," I murmured, fighting back a giggle as Edward cringed at the curses getting thrown at him by an overweight, balding man in a sweater vest (who wears those in July?) that had been clipped by my feet.

"Yes, well I'm a bit more worried about Fabio behind us," Edward replied.

"I'd hardly call him _Fabio_, Edward," I replied, tightening my hold around his neck when he spun around looking for the right direction to move in next. "He's not that- oh my God, I'm so sorry."

In his spinning frenzy, Edward had caused my feet to briefly flick out, and one of them had caught a small, dark haired girl on the head. The girl tumbled over backwards, her hand at the side of her head and curses coming out of her mouth.

"Put me down, you idiot," I smacked Edward's chest. He opened his mouth to argue, his eyes warily watching Jasper, whose blond head could just be seen through the crowed looking for us. "Now," I interrupted, my voice dangerous, before he could argue.

Edward looked down at me and must have decided that whatever he saw in my face was more frightening than Jasper, because he swiftly placed me back on my feet. I hit his arm, then rushed over to kneel next to the girl.

"I am so, so sorry," I said. "Are you okay? I didn't give you a concussion or anything did? I feel so bad…. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The girl's shoulders were shaking, and I felt a lead ball of guilt settle in my stomach. She must be really hurt.

"Oh God… please don't cry. Edward will see if there's a doctor around to check you out… move Edward, and I'll-"

"No don't," the girl cut me off, and I realized the shaking hadn't been caused by tears, but rather by barely restrained giggles. "I'm fine, I don't need a doctor. You're over-reacting a bit," the girl took her hand from her head to look at me with mirth-filled blue eyes. Together with her small stature, spiky black hair and milky skin she brought to mind some sort of fairy princess from a Disney fairytale. "It stunned me more than it hurt. I know I'm short, but it's not often that I get kicked in the head. I'm Alice."

She held out her hand, and I took it, using it to pull her to her feet before shaking it.

"Uhm… Bella… I mean, I'm Bella. And this is Edward. You're seriously not hurt?"

"No, it's fine, Bella," Alice giggled. "Why were you being carried by him anyways? You're not hurt at all, are you?"

"Oh no... we, uh… well…" I trailed off, uncertain of how to continue.

"We have to keep going," Edward said urgently, grasping my wrist. "Fabio's spotted us."

"He's not a Fabio, Edward," I rolled my eyes. "It was nice meeting you, Alice, but Edward here ran afoul of a competitor, and now we have to out run her- let him go!"

Jasper had caught up to us as I spoke, and now had his hand wrapped tightly around the back of Edward's neck and was shaking him slightly.

"You're fast," Jasper said, "but you shouldn't have stuck around chatting. Now, give me one good reason I shouldn't call the police chief on the pair of you."

"You let him go, Jasper Whitlock," little Alice stood in front of the boys, her hands on her hips to glare at Jasper.

"Alice… what are you doing hanging around with trouble makers like this?"

"If my guess is right, and my guesses are _always_ right, then it was Mama Whitlock who said they were troublemakers. As far as she's concerned, anyone who looks at her without bowing first is a troublemaker, so you leave them alone," Alice's blue eyes were boring into Jasper's hazel ones, and it wasn't long into the staring war before he was cursing and letting go of Edward.

"Alice, they were back where the competitors are. What reason would they have to be back there?" he asked.

"You're new to town, aren't you?" Alice asked me kindly. "Probably never even heard of this parade until you got here."  
"Sort of," I agreed. "It was in a brochure, and since we were passing through, Edward thought we should stop and see the Dachshund parade," I rubbed the back of my neck, "we're from west of Seattle."

"What are you doing in Ellensburg, then?" Jasper asked suspiciously.

"We eloped together and we thought watching a bunch of Dachshunds march around would be scintillating honeymoon," Edward replied dryly, and I elbowed him in the ribs. "Ow! Bella… that wasn't very nice."

"We're on a trip," I explained.

"Oh… where too?" Alice asked.

"Uh… well, we're not sure. It was kind of a spur of the moment thing," I admitted sheepishly.

"Oh… so you decided you wanted to travel, and made the decision to just go wherever the road took you?" Jasper was actually looking genuinely interested.

"Actually, her boyfriend cheated on her and decided to take advantage of the rebound and talked her into hopping on the back of my motorcycle. Now she's sticking around to rebel against her dad," Edward supplied.

"Not true," I argued. "At least… not entirely true. The boyfriend thing is true, and the motorcycle. My dad _is_ angry about it, but I didn't stick around to rebel… at least not entirely," glaring at Edward, I decided that I would never see these people again, so I'd be entirely candid with them. "He did this kissing thing when he was convincing me to come," I explained to Alice. "It was a lot more enjoyable than any of the kisses I'd gotten from my ex, so I decided to stick around to see if I could an actual one out of him."

"Did you?" Alice's expression was an odd combination of amusement, mirth, and interest.

"No. The jerk says he won't actually kiss me until I've stopped caring about the ex enough to not be mad at him anymore. Except then I found out that Mike was spreading this rumour about me having slept with him, which just pissed me off more, and Edward still won't give me a god damn kiss, even though he's the one that told me the rumour about Mike. Men are jerks."

Alice eyed Jasper for a moment, then looked back at me.

"On that, we are in _complete_ agreement," she jerked her thumb at Jasper. "I've been dating this lout for three years and I followed him back here, yet he still seems to believe his mama's word is law. Most of the time her word doesn't even make sense."

"Hey-"

Jasper began, but Alice cut him off by grasping my arm and pulling me towards a concession stand.

"C'mon, I'll buy you a beer."

"I'm not old enough," I admitted.

"I am… besides, you've already run off with a boy, I doubt anyone will consider ayou having a beer much worse. I've always found that odd. At eighteen you can join the army, elope, and go to university, yet you can't have a beer legally for another three years. It's ridiculous."

I hummed my agreement, accepting the one of the beer she had purchased from her.

"So… you and Jasper are dating?" I asked, eyeing both him and Edward where they stood several feet away from us, both seeming confused.

"Yes," replied Alice. "Since College. He asked me to come back here with him, and like a fool I agreed," she gave Jasper the stink-eye. "It wasn't until we arrived and I met Mama Hale that I realized exactly what I was getting myself into. He won't propose to me, you know. I think it's because Mama Hale doesn't like me, though he always denies that."

"Why do you stay?" I asked her.

"Because we're meant to be together," Alice replied simply. "I knew that the first time I laid eyes on him. I don't like his mother, and I hate that he lets her have so much control… but I'm in love with the fool and he's my destiny. Besides, I am fond of Ellensburg. It's the perfect place to raise the kids I will someday have, once Jasper tells his mom to back off."

"You're stronger than me," I told her. "I can't see any guy being worth _that_."

"Can't you?" Alice nodded towards Edward. "He seems like an alright guy, even if he won't kiss you."

I sighed.

"He's had a thing for me for four years, and he never mentioned it until yesterday," I told her. "That's a long time, four years."

"Impressive," Alice agreed. "They're confused, you know. By how easily we've fallen into being friends," she grinned at me. "Guys, they just don't understand girl-talk requirements."

I grinned.

"That's because they can't fathom anyone actually wanting to talk about things like feelings," I replied. "Although… Edward does a surprisingly good job of it. He was considered the town's delinquent back home. Now I'm realizing that he's been judged on one bad decision and the fact that he owns a motorcycle rather than him actually being a trouble maker."

"And he's cute," Alice added, sipping her beer and watching the boys with me. They were talking while keeping a weary eye on us, both seemingly frightened by us observing them.

"He's gorgeous," I agreed. "I kind of wish that I'd noticed him before, rather than letting myself be resigned to the post of Mike Newton's girlfriend. Edward is _way_ better than Mike. He's just a slight jerk. Mike was the king of all jerks."

"You weren't really into this ex of yours, were you?" Alice asked me.

"No, I wasn't," I admitted. "How could you tell?"

"The way you just talked about him. You didn't have any of the righteous anger that a girl would have if she'd actually wanted to be with the cheating jerk. Have you considered making the first move?"

I looked at her, startled by the abrupt change of subject.

"Huh?"

"You know," Alice explained. "Instead of waiting for him to make the first move, why don't you just grab him and give him a kiss he'll never forget. Equality rights- women don't have to wait for guys to make the first move anymore."

"He doesn't want any moves made until he's sure I'm over Mike."

"I don't think there was really anything between you and Mike for you _to_ get over. Were you really even pissed that he cheated?"

"Yes," I replied. "It was in my bed- I _really_ liked that bed spread and sullied it with Jessica. I had to burn it!!"

Alice burst out laughing.

"What's so funny over here, ladies?" Jasper asked, sidling up to us. Edward followed shortly behind.

"Oh, just Bella telling me more about her cheating ex. Take my advice, Bella," she told me. "Trust me when I say that there's really nothing to be worried about. And I'm sorry about your bed spread."

"What bed spread?" Edward asked, scratching his head and looking adorably confused. "What's she talking about."

I quirked my head at Edward, considering Alice's words and wondering how he'd react if I _did_ take her advice.

"It's nothing, Edward," I reached out and grasped his warm hand with my own. "Just girl talk."

"Oh… well, Jasper was telling me that the parade's about to begin. We should go and try to get a good seat," Edward pulled me into his side and squeezed my hand.

"So, the two of you have reached an understanding, then?" Alice asked.

"Yes. Edward explained everything to me," Jasper leaned down to kiss Alice. "I'm sorry about the misunderstanding, Bella."

"Uh… no problem. Let's go get ready for this parade."

I let Alice and Jasper pass us, then looked at Edward.

"What did you tell him?" I hissed.

"The truth," I replied. "That we rode an elevator with his mother, and she misunderstood something that was said and it had her biased towards us."

"Yes, because it's possible to misunderstand me refusing to do sexual favours for you," I rolled my eyes. "What did he say?"

"That his mother tends to overreact and that he'd make sure she didn't cause us any more trouble. Come on, let's go join our new friends," he looked down at me. "What were you and Alice talking about that had her laughing so hard, anyway?"

I felt the heat rise into my cheeks and cursed my complexion for making it so obvious.

"Girl stuff," I replied immediately, hoping that, like with Charlie, that would be enough to end any further questioning.

It wasn't.

"That's what girls always say," Edward whined. "You know that when you say that to guys it makes them uneasy so that's always your excuse. But I don't believe you. What was it really?"

"We were discussing favourite tampon brands," replied perkily, laughing when Edward made a disbelieving face. "I'm not telling you, Edward. It was a girl thing."

That said, I danced away from him to follow Alice and Jasper through the crowd, a plot forming in my mind.

Maybe Alice was right… maybe I _should_ take matters into my own hands.

_**A/N2: Before anyone asks, yes Ellensburg really does have a dachshund parade. I've never been there before, but I read about it on the internet. I was going to have them visit a fictional giant ball of yarn there, but then I found the parade and it was decided. Musical inspiration was Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. I am going to warn you now, I may have to cut back to one update a week, because from here on out the chapters are going to be longer, and my life is too hectic for me to be able to maintain the twice weekly updates. Don't forget to review. Let's see if we can't get my review count up to 215 before the next update.**_


	9. Won't Back Down

_**A.N: I'm not dead!!! Yay! Sorry this took so long, but life got hectic for a brief while. Read the A.N at the end of the chapter to see an added incentive for reviewers of this chapter. Here is:**_

**Nine. Won't Back Down**

**Edward POV**

"Is this normal?" I asked Jasper.

"Is what normal?" he replied, his expression stony. It was rather obvious that Jasper wasn't overly fond of me.

"That," I motioned to where Bella and Alice were sipping on beer and chatting like old friends. "They met five minutes ago, and now they're swapping life time secrets as if they've known each other forever."

Jasper cocked his head and squinted his eyes at the duo, deep in thought.

"It must be a girl thing," he decided at last. "I know I don't want to swap secrets with you, so it must be a girl thing. Or maybe it's an Alice thing. She has the ability to sneak up on you and have you begging her to come back to your home town with you before you know what hit you."

I cleared my throat to hide the chuckle that was trying to escape at Jasper's words and the befuddled look on his face, as if he still wasn't quite sure how Alice had ended up with him in Ellensburg.

"Well… I don't think we're talking about Bella anymore. Are you sure you don't want to exchange deep dark secrets?"

I smirked at the glare Jasper shot me. I was now fairly positive I was safe from the blonde. I didn't think Alice would allow him to hurt me in any way, and it seemed to me that Jasper was so head over heels in love with her that he wasn't entirely sure what was going on in his own life anymore.

"Did your mother tell you why you were chasing us down?" I asked. Jasper's scowl darkened.

"She said you were troublemakers," he replied. "We don't need strangers causing trouble here. We get enough of that with all the college students."

"We weren't causing any trouble," I defended myself. "I left my troublemaking hat back in Forks. We just came here to see the parade. We had an… encounter with your mother back in Seattle. She misunderstood something that was said before we realized she was on the elevator with us. That's the _only_ reason she thinks we're making trouble."

"And what did you say on this supposed elevator in Seattle?" Jasper asked dryly.

"It's not supposed," my voice was equally dry. "It was the elevator of a Best Western where we were staying. As for what was said, it was Bella who said it, not me, and your mother took it completely out of context. She thought we were being perverts or something."

"That doesn't tell me what was said."

"I don't remember exactly what it was. I had completely forgotten about it until we ran into your mother again. Not at all important. She's laughing. Why is she laughing?" all thoughts of Mrs. Whitlock flew out of my head when I looked at the girls and saw Alice holding her stomach in pain, due to her hysterical laughter. Bella stood next to her looking righteously indignant and so cute that I wanted to say "screw it" to my waiting idea and sweep her up in my arms to kiss the frown off of her face.

"I don't know," Jasper replied. "But it can't be good. It's _never_ good when she laughs that hard."

I followed him as he made his way rapidly to where Alice was drying her tears and Bella was still frowning petulantly.

"What's so funny over here, ladies?" he asked, sidling up to them and trying to look casual. He didn't quite manage to mask the alarm in his eyes.

"Oh, just Bella telling me more about her cheating ex," Alice replied airily. She grabbed Jasper's hand and looked at Bella with a wicked grin. "Take my advice, Bella. Trust me when I say that there's really nothing to be worried about. And I'm sorry about your bed spread."

Okay, that was confusing. How did Bella talking about Mike the douche turn into bed spreads?

"What bed spread?" I asked, trying to fill in the blanks. "What's she talking about."

Bella quirked her head at me and tapped her (kissable, gorgeous, distracting) lips with a slim finger, as if considering something about me.

"It's nothing, Edward," she replied at last, reaching out to grasp my hand as Alice done with Jasper. I felt warmth spread from where our skin came into contact, and found myself hoping that she'd never break it. "Just girl talk."

"Oh… well, Jasper was telling me that the parade's about to begin. We should go and try to get a good seat," I pulled her into my side and squeezed her hand, deciding to increase and prolong contact as much as possible. Maybe I wouldn't kiss her, but I could damn well touch her.

"So, the two of you have reached an understanding, then?" Alice asked, looking severely between Jasper and I.

"Yes. Edward explained everything to me," Jasper leaned down to kiss Alice before addressing Bella. "I'm sorry about the misunderstanding, Bella."

"Uh… no problem. Let's go get ready for this parade," Bella replied.

We let Jasper and Alice pass by us to lead the way through the crowd, but when I moved to follow them, Bella stopped me.

"What did you tell him?" she hissed.

"The truth," I replied. "That we rode an elevator with his mother, and she misunderstood something that was said and it had her biased towards us."

"Yes, because it's possible to misunderstand me refusing to do sexual favours for you," Bella rolled her eyes, briefly distracting me due to my habit of getting lost in their depths. My attention was quickly brought back to the conversation when she continued to speak. "What did he say?"

"That his mother tends to overreact and that he'd make sure she didn't cause us any more trouble. Come on, let's go join our new friends," I looked down at her and decided to turn the conversation in a direction I preferred. "What were you and Alice talking about that had her laughing so hard, anyway?"

I nearly forgot about my own question when a blush rose up into Bella's cheeks. I _loved_ her blush. It did all sorts of things to me, and if I weren't so curious about her and Alice's conversation, I would've lost my train of thought and allowed myself to be distracted by it

"Girl stuff," was Bella's far too quick reply. I couldn't help but smirk. Did she really expect me to fall for the oldest excuse in the book?

I wouldn't.

"That's what girls always say," I pointed out. "You know that when you say that to guys it makes them uneasy so that's always your excuse. But I don't believe you. What was it really?"

"We were discussing favourite tampon brands," Bella replied with a false perkiness. The look on my face must have been amusing, because she started to laugh. "I'm not telling you, Edward. It was a girl thing."

She threw me a flirtatiously cheeky grin that had my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth and danced off after Alice and Jasper, not tripping once. For Bella, that was a quite a feat, but I was too busy pulling myself back together to truly appreciate the accomplishment.

Damn if that girl wasn't going to be the death of me.

-*-

It turns out that a dachshund parade involves more than just a bunch of dogs prancing down a street.

It involves costumed dogs prancing down a street.

"It that one dressed as _batman_?" Bella asked incredulously.

"Yes, and the one next to it is Robin. They must come from the same family," I replied, almost as bemused as she was.

"Mrs. Sutton and Mrs. Banks are twin sisters," Alice explained to us, having overheard our conversation. "They always dress their dogs up together. Last year it was Spiderman and the Green Goblin. Oh look, there's Mama Whitlock."

Sure enough, Jasper's mother was walking proudly down the road, the leash of her yappy dog in her hand. Said yappy dog was strutting along proudly ahead of her dressed like…

"_Xena_?" Bella choked out. "I did not see that one coming. Where did she get an outfit like that for a dog?"

"She got it custom made. It's why she was in Seattle," Jasper sounded almost depressed. "She really gets into the parade."

I tilted my head and squinted at the dog. It wore a fancy miniature version of the leather and metal skirt and breast plate combination that Lucy Lawless wore as _Xena: Warrior Princess_. The only way it could have looked more ridiculous was if Mama Whitlock had worn one herself.

"Look, the Babe dachshund is trying to mount Xena. Oh dear, your mother is not happy about that, Jazz."

Jasper cursed and moved through the crowd to get to his mother, who was kicking at another dog that was trying to…well, Alice had it right. The other dog was trying mount it. I couldn't help but snicker at the sight. Apparently I had been wrong about the scene not being able to look more ridiculous.

"Is it terrible that I'm finding it really difficult not to laugh at the look on her face?" Bella murmured. "It's as if she feels like she's a queen, and that dog just committed treason."

Alice wasn't even bothering to hide her laughter on Bella's other side.

"Can you. See. The look. On her face?" she gasped out. "I haven't seen anything this funny since I was in college."

"Are you sure you should be laughing?" I asked. "Won't that make her angry?"

"I'm not good enough for Mama Whitlock's precious baby boy," Alice was wiping the tears of mirth that had gathered in her eyes away, being careful not to smear her mascara. "She hates me, so this won't really help or hurt me."

Her face turned serious as she looked back to the street where Jasper was trying to calm down his mother. He looked haggard and tired, and still had the look of resignation his eyes that he had had every time his mother was brought up.

"He needs to break away from her," Alice said. "He got offered a job in Chicago with a really prestigious construction firm. He's an architect, you see. He got offered the job and was really excited to take it, but then Mama Whitlock guilted him into staying. She's a bitch, and he knows it, but he just can't bring himself to _let her down_," Alice made quotations as she said the last three words, then sighed. "I love him, but I'm not sure how much longer _I_ can put up with it."

"That sucks," Bella offered up bluntly, causing Alice to give a chuckle and a smirk.

"You're telling me."

The showdown on the road was starting to become ugly. Jasper's mother was gesturing between the Babe dog and it's owner angrily. Jasper was alternating between apologizing to the other woman, trying to calm his mother down, and dodging the wild swinging of her arms.

"Ouch! That had to hurt," muttered Bella as one of his mother's flailing fists hit Jasper hard in the nose. He reeled back, his hands going up to cover it. His mother was too busy screaming at the other dog owner to pay attention to her son.

"That is fucking IT!" Alice snapped, hopping up to her feet and swiftly weaving down onto the street. She made a beeline for Jasper, checking to make sure he was okay once she got to him. That out of the way, she turned on Mama Whitlock and moved her forcibly away from the other dog owner. She wasn't screaming like Mama Whitlock had been, but whatever she _did_ say made the woman go pale with indignation.

"Uh… should we go and help?" Bella asked nervously.

I looked over at her, her eyes were wide, uncertain, and staring at me. I grinned down at her and slung my arm around her slender shoulders, enjoying the closeness once again.

"I think our presence would just make things worse," I told her. "Would you like some Junior Mints?"

She looked at me, then down to the box in my hand, then back at me.

"You're a very odd boy sometimes, Edward Cullen," she said at last.

"Is that no to the junior mints, then?"

She grabbed the box from my hand.

"No, I'm just saying you're an odd boy," she retorted, shaking some of the mints out of the box and into her palm. "These are incredibly good."

"Haven't you ever had Junior Mints before?" I asked, accepting the box back.

"No. Renee always had a thing against mint and chocolate together, and Charlie prefers his sweets baked," she shrugged. "Give me the box back."

I rolled my eyes but handed the box over, unable to resist the look in her big brown eyes. We weren't even dating and she already it had me whipped.

I turned back to the escapades on the street, and almost choked on my Junior Mint.

"Jesus, Edward. Are you okay? Should I get a doctor?" Bella's eyes were wide, and her face was pale as she hovered uncertainly next to me.

I managed to cough the mint up and point towards the street.

"Maybe we should do something now," I managed to get out hoarsely before I finished chewing the Junior Mint that had previously been lodged in my throat.

"Oh crap," Bella swore as she saw what I had seen previously. "Somebody called the freaking cops!"

Sure enough, there were two of the friendly neighbourhood patrol in blue booking Japser, Alice, and Mama Whitlock, who was shouting at them indignantly.

"Does she do anything but shout?" muttered Bella.

"Let's go find out," I replied, grasping her hand in mine and leading her out of the crowded stands where we had been sitting. Bella stumbled once, causing a man to drop his chilli dog.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" The man growled, before lapsing into a series of curses that would have made a sailor blush.

"Here, take the money and get a new one," I shoved a ten dollar bill into the man's sweaty hands, then swooped Bella up into my arms once more.

"Are you sure we should be doing this again?" she asked, her arms going around my neck once more. I had to pause for a moment to close my eyes and savour the feeling of her closeness… and her breasts pressed into my chest. Hey, I may not be pressuring her into a relationship, but I was still a guy.

"It's fine," I replied, hoping my voice wasn't actually as choked as it sounded to my ears. "We can move quicker this way."

"I'd feel insulted at your lack of faith in my walking abilities… but I kinda like being carried by you. Makes me think of all sorts of _Gone With the Wind_ fantasies. I always had a thing for Rhett growing up," Bella grinned impishly up at me, and I closed my eyes and sent a quick prayer up for patience.

"God Bella, you make this tough," I murmured.

I thought I heard her mutter "good" but she spoke aloud before I could comment.

"We had better hurry. They're leading Alice and Jasper to the cop car."

I picked up my pace, and was almost sprinting by the time I reached the cop car. They were putting Alice, Jasper, and Mama Whitlock into the back as I stepped up and set Bella on her feet.

"This is an outrage!" Mama Whitlock was screaming. "You can be guaranteed that my lawyer will be hearing about this! I will have your badges for this insult! Oh don't worry, Pookie, mommy will get us out of here," the last was addressed to Xena: Warrior Dachshund.

"Ma'am, you can't take the dog with you," one of the officers was explaining. He was dong a remarkable job of staying calm in the face of Mama Whitlock's insults.

"Excuse me, sir," I approached the other officer patiently. "Could you tell me what they're being arrested for?"

"You should be arresting them!" Mama Whitlock was pointing angrily at Bella and me now. "They're the trouble makers. Did you know that they tried to steal my pookie? And they were practically doing… having… they were almost procreating in an elevator in Seattle!"

The officer looked at Mama Whitlock with raised brows, then turned to survey Bella and I curiously.

"She's exaggerating," Bella offered after a long moment of silence. "Edward made a comment, and I had to joke about it… there was no… no procreating," her face flared up, but I could have sworn that I heard something that sounded awfully life _unfortunately_ come from her.

For the first time in my life, thinking about the word _procreating_ was actually arousing me, so I quickly addressed the cop to get my mind off of how I'd like to procreate with Bella.

I was never going to be able to use that word again.

"Um… the charges?" I asked as politely as I could.

"Disturbing of the peace," the officer replied.

"Will you stop your caterwauling and get into the damn car?" Alice snapped at Mama Hale. "The sooner they book us, the sooner we can pay bail and get out."

"Well, are you going to pay?" Mama Whitlock demanded of Alice.

"Mother, we have money set aside," Jasper replied wearily. "I had some saved for a down payment on an apartment in Chicago. We can use that, since I'm not going anymore."

"The dog can't come," the officer said again.

Mama Whitlock opened her mouth to argue, but Alice hopped out of the car, grabbed the dog, and shoved it into Bella's arms.

"Do us a huge favour and bring that to the cop shop?" she asked.

"Sure," Bella replied, wrapping her arms around the dog. "No problem."

"Thanks," Alice replied loudly, to be heard over Mama Whitlock who was now caterwauling about how Bella would steal her precious pookie. Alice turned on her with a vicious look and violently shoved her into the back seat of the car, so that she was in between her and Jasper. "We're good to go, officer."

Bella and I watched the cop car drive away, then we both looked down at the dog. It cuddled in closer to Bella, then looked to be and growled.

"I don't think she likes me," I stated.

Bella rolled her eyes at me, and turned, heading towards the parking lot where I had left my motorcycle. After three steps she stopped.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I don't think _he's_ a she," she replied, her voice embarrassed.

"What makes you think it's a h- oh my…" I burst out laughing when I stepped up next to her.

The Xena dog was enthusiastically humping Bella's arm. Her face was bright red and she alternated between glaring at me and the dog.

"You're both bastards," she snarled, shoving the dog into my arms and stomping off with her nose in the air. She was an impressive sight, despite tripping twice- once over a stone, the second time over a hole.

"I think she's angry at us," I said to the dog.

It growled at me.

-*-

The yelling could be heard the second we walked through the jail's doors.

To my surprise, it was Jasper and not his mother who was yelling.

"-it all back! And then Alice and I are going to Chicago. I'm taking the damn job and you'll be happy for me!"

"What's going on?" I asked the officer at the front desk. It's the same one that I had spoken to earlier.

"They don't have the bail money," the officer shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure on what happened. Something about the old lady spending it on a Xena costume or something."

I looked at Bella, who was once again holding the dog. Both of us looked down at it and put the pieces together pretty easily.

"How much is bail?" I asked with a sigh, pulling out my cheque book.

"Two thousand," the officer replied. "We've had to strike down hard on disturbing of the peace lately. The college students have been a bit wild."

I winced at the amount. I had quite a bit in my inherited account, but two grand was still quite a bit.

"Ouch," Bella muttered. "Is that for all three?"

"No," the officer's expression was sympathetic.. "That's each."

"They owe me," I muttered. "They so owe me."

Twenty minutes later, I had completed the necessary paper work and we were lead to the back where Alice, Jasper, and Mama Whitlock were being let out of the cell.

"You see," Mama Whitlock said to Jasper. "It's fine. Your nice friends paid for us. You don't have to leave."

"I have until Wednesday to accept, and I am," Jasper growled. "How much do I owe you?"

"Six grand," Bella replied weakly. "Apparently disturbing the peace is a big deal."

Jasper swore violently.

"The dog is worth two grand, and it's outfit another fifteen hundred. Would you accept it?" he asked.

"No, sorry," I said quickly, even as Mama Whitlock gasped in outrage. "So… I take it you're going to Chicago?"

"Yes," he replied, ignoring his mother. "Hopefully with Alice in tow."

"I followed you here, I'll follow you there," Alice replied. "Besides, there's lots of opportunity for an interior decorator in Chicago. That's what I do," she added to Bella and I. "Work's a bit slow around here."

"Well… good luck. About the money payback…"

Jasper and I worked out a payment plan, and I gave him my number so that we could hammer out the finer details later in the summer when Bella and I reached Chicago ourselves. I was a little worried about trusting a near stranger to pay me back, but I decided to go with my gut, which told me Jasper was basically a good guy.

Outside, Alice and Bella were also exchanging cell numbers and e-mails.

"We'll visit when we come to Chicago," I heard Bella promise. "Good luck to the two of you."

"You too," Alice grasped her hand. "It's been great meeting you. Have fun on the rest of your trip."

"We will- oh! Pictures!" Bella grabbed the camera out of my bag. After ten minutes of picture taking- most of which were taken my Mama Whitlock who was still hoping to stop her son from moving, and was sucking up to achieve that goal.

Our good-byes said, Bella and I once again hit the road.

"You know," I called over my shoulder. "I always thought that if I were going to pay bail, it would be for myself!"

I heard Bella's musical laughter float to me.

"Life is never dull with you, Edward Cullen," I felt her warm breath on my ear. "Now, let's get to Spokane. I have something I want to…_show _you."

The words were innocent, but the tone had me gulping and wondering what the hell awaited me at our next destination.

_**A.N2: So, the musical inspiration was Tom Petty's "Won't Back Down" in honor of Jasper growing a spine. Yay!! So, as an added incentive for reviewing this chapter, I'll send everyone who reviews an Alice POV of the brief time they spent in jail. If you are a member of FF, then I'll send it in a PM. If you're not, then leave me your e-mail (you'll have to put spaces in it so it'll show), and I'll e-mail it.**_


	10. Love Game

_**A/N: Well, as you have probably noticed, the rating of this story has changed from 'T' to 'M'. That is for a reason. There's not some super detailed lemon, but there is some stuff that shouldn't be read by young children so please keep that in mind. Also, since my bribing plan worked for last chapter, I have another one for this chapter. See the end of chapter A/N for more details. Here goes:**_

**Ten. Love Game**

It was seven by the time we arrived in Spokane… finally! It was hard to believe that I had only been on the road with Edward for forty-eight hours. I felt like I knew him better than I had ever known Mike, and we had been together for four years.

"Do you want to go out for supper?" Edward asked as we dragged our bags into our room. We were once again at a Best Western, although this time we didn't insult any old ladies in the elevator.

I flopped back on one the beds, enjoying the feeling of the soft mattress underneath me.

"Could we just order something?" I asked. "I've had enough socializing for the day," I pulled myself up into a sitting position and grinned at him. "You know, I thought that if anyone would be getting bailed out of jail on this trip, it would be me bailing you out. Instead, you had two bail out two strangers and an old lady."

Edward chuckled and rolled his eyes at me.

"You have such a low opinion of me, Isabella. Here's a number for pizza hut… how does pizza sound?"

"As long it's Hawaiian I'm all for it," I laughed when Edward made a face. "What's wrong with Hawaiian pizza?"

"Fruit was not meant to be put on pizza," Edward replied matter-of-factly. "Pepperoni and mushroom is where it's at… and what's that face for?"

"I like mushrooms, but their disgusting on pizza."

"Says the girl who likes pineapple," Edward deadpanned in reply. "You have no right to call anyone else's pizza preferences disgusting if you eat pineapple on yours."

"Don't make me hurt you for insulting my taste in food," I said to him, narrowing my eyes in mock anger. "Because I _will_ hurt you."

Edward snorted.

"Please. You're not the least bit scary. Actually, you look pretty harmless. Sort of like a puppy, or a rabbit."

"Them there are fightin' words," I replied in a false southern voice, hopping to my feet on the bed. "I'm gonna have to take you out."

Before Edward could reply, I leapt at him, knocking him over backwards onto the other bed. Since I lacked any sort of grace, my plan to jokingly tackle him went terribly awkward, and a loud snap could be heard on our landing.

I lay on top of Edward on the bed, staring into his gorgeous green eyes, for several seconds before I realized that there was a sharp, extremely painful flaring in my wrist.

One hour and a trip to the ER later, we found out that the snap we had heard had been the sound of my wrist breaking.

"And what did we learn from this little excursion?" Edward asked me, as he guided me out of the hospital.

"That I'm cursed and you're a jerk?" I replied grumpily. The only high point to the whole situation was that they had been able to use bright green for my cast. I'd always hated the boring white plaster- I had worn it plenty of times over my eighteen years of life.

"No, try again," Edward replied cheerfully.

"I'm pretty sure that I'm right, actually," I knew I was pouting, but I couldn't help myself. Injuries always seemed to cause me to revert back to my five year old self.

"We learned that you should leave the air stunts to professionals and not leap onto unsuspecting observers," Edward kissed the tip of my nose. "Although, I will admit that the whole pouncing thing was kind of hot up until we realized your wrist was broken," his fingers came up to stroke my cheek. "You had me worried."

I sighed and leaned into his hand. It was hard to stay mad at him when he said stuff like that.

"Let's get back to the motel," I said, reluctantly pulling away from his hand, and motioning with my uninjured hand to the bike.

I allowed myself to pout behind Edward's back as we rode back towards the motel. This injury had put a serious wrench in my plans for the night. Plans that had involved me (finally) getting that hot and heavy kiss from Edward that I'd been after for… well… the past forty-eight hours.

I wondered what it said for my relationship with Mike that I had been happy to wait for three dates and four weeks to pass before I kissed him, while I was finding it seriously frustrating going a mere forty-eight hours without getting an lip action from Edward.

I continued to muse on this until we got back to the motel, when I decided to put the question to the boy of the hour himself.

"Is it weird?" I asked him as he closed the door of our room behind me.

"Is what weird?" he asked me.

"That I feel like I know you better after two days than I knew Mike after four years? Is it weird?"

Edward looked down at me seriously, and cupped my face in his hands. He had large hands, I realized with some surprise. They always looked so elegant, with long, graceful fingers, that I had never realized that they were so large. My thoughts were taken away from his hands when he began to move his head towards mine, and I was sure that he was finally going to kiss me. Instead, and much to my frustration, he just rested his forehead against mine.

"I don't think it's weird," he told me softly. "I feel the same way."

"It's different for you, though," I replied, equally as soft. "You… well… you've wanted me for four years. I've…" I trailed off, unsure how to continue.

"Only been truly aware of my existence for two days?" Edward's smile was self deprecating. "Maybe Mike just wasn't right for you. Have you ever considered that?"

Edward pulled away from me and turned towards the beds. I scowled at his back.

"Every day for the past four years," I stated. Edward looked back towards me, his eyebrows raised in question. "That's how often I've contemplated whether or not Mike was right for me. He was cute, and I could admire his looks, but I can admire the looks of a Calvin Klein model. Doesn't mean I'd ever date one."

"Are you comparing Mike Newton to a Calvin Klein model?" Edward's eyes were full of laughter. "I don't think he's quite buff enough, Bella."

I shrugged and crossed my arms, surveying Edward carefully and considering my next move. I had thought that my injury would put a stop to my plans for the night, but while the cast was a bit awkward, my arm was still mostly functional. I quirked my head and thought about the advice Alice had given me.

It had only been two days since I had met him, but so what? Romeo and Juliet had fallen in love in under an hour. Mr. Darcy had felt compelled towards Elizabeth Bennet by their second meeting. Wrath and Beth had had sex the first night they had officially met each other.

Okay, so maybe taking leads from books wasn't the best idea, but this trip was all about taking risks and just _trying_.

It was time for me to make the first move.

"I am mad at Mike," I said to Edward, moving slowly towards him. He looked at me, confusion written clearly across his face.

"I thought we already covered that," he replied. "I know you're mad at Mike- he's cheating scum who broke your heart and whatever."

I gave a low chuckle at that, and the sound of it, low and feminine, surprised me. I hadn't realized I was capable of sounding like that. Edward really did bring out my inner temptress.

"He never broke my heart," I said as I came to stop in front of him. We were so close that my chest grazed against his. The differences in our height meant that I had to raise my chin a bit to be able to look him into his eyes. "To break somebody's heart, you have to have touched it first. Mike was never capable of that with me. You asked me earlier what I said that made Alice laugh so hard," I licked my suddenly dry lips. The way Edward's eyes, eyes that were currently a dark forest green with desire, followed the motion gave me the courage I needed to continue. "Ask me again."

"What did you say that made Alice laugh so hard?" The question was almost robotic, and his voice was husky. His eyes still hadn't left my mouth.

"I told her that I had to burn the sheets on my bed," I replied. Edward's eyes darted up to mine. He obviously hadn't expected that reply. "That's why I'm made at Mike, Edward. I liked those sheets. They were nice, comfortable," a grin quirked my lips and I felt positively wicked suddenly as I ran a finger down his chest between us. "You would have liked them."

"O-oh?" Edward's voice cracked, and my inner temptress grinned at the effect I had on him.

"Yes," I replied softly. "They were fleece… that really soft fleece. I loved the way they felt against my skin, and I had to burn them. It made me really angry," I wasn't sure where this was coming from, but as I spoke and watched the way my words effected Edward, I felt truly powerful and… _feminine_ for the first time in my life. Mike had wanted me, I had known that, but Edward made me felt truly desired. "But the sheets don't matter so much anymore," I pressed softly against Edward's chest so that the back of knees hit the bed, causing him to land in a sitting position on it's surface.

"Th-that's good. That they don't matter, not that you had to burn them," Edward was staring at me as if I were some sort of siren- beautiful to look at, but dangerous to get too close to. I smirked down at him, and did something that shocked my inner good girl, and made my inner temptress wipe a tear of pride from her eye.

I straddled his lap.

"W-what are you doing, Bella?" Edward gasped, automatically wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him. I could feel his arousal, and while it made me nervous, it also served to boost my confidence.

The boy definitely wanted me.

"I'm trying to seduce you Mr. Cullen," I replied teasingly. "Is it working?"

"Yes… but…" Edward seemed to be struggling with himself. "There's a reason we shouldn't do this… I know there's a reason…" he closed his eyes as I reached my hand up to run it through his wild bronze hair. "Two days," his eyes snapped back open. "It's only been two days since Mike… that's too soon. I won't be the rebound."

"You're right. You deserve better than being rebound," I agreed. Edward nodded, looking both pleased and disappointed that I agreed. I pressed my lips to his briefly, both to sate the hunger I had for his lips, and to give myself a moment to gather my courage for what I was about to do.

I was certifiable, but I was also desperate.

Pulling back from his mouth I reached down to the hem of my shirt and pulled it off over my head, leaving me in just my lacy lavender bra.

"What the hell, Bella?" Edward's eyes snapped to my chest immediately, before he realized where he was looking and forced them up to my face. "What are you doing."

"You're not the rebound, Edward," I buried my hand into his hair once more. "For you to be a rebound, Mike would have had to have mattered enough for me to be on the rebound. I've realized that I was with him because he was easy. He was there, and it was easy to be with him because I knew that he could never really hurt me. You can. It only took me two day to realize that you can hurt me more than Mike ever could… but I'm willing to risk it," I met his green eyes with mine. "Are you?"

Edward closed his eyes, and his mouth moved silently, as if he were sending up a prayer. When they snapped open, they were once again forest green with desire.

"God Bella," he began, but I cut him off with my mouth. I teased his lips with my tongue until he opened up to me, and then it was as if a flood gate were opened.

Edward fell back onto the bed, taking me with him. He allowed me to lead the kiss for a bit before he groaned and flipped us over so that he was looming above me.

"God, Bella," he broke away from the kiss, "you drive me insane."

His head swooped back down to claim my lips again, and this time he dominated the kiss, burrowing on hand in my hair, while the other supported his weight so he wouldn't crush me. I moaned against his mouth and pulled at the hem of his shirt, wanting to feel his skin against mine. He broke away long enough to pull the shirt off, then he returned his lips to mine. My hands explored the plain of his back and the muscles of his chest and stomach. I had been too upset about Charlie to admire him the last time I had seen him shirtless- this time I was too overcome with lust.

His lips had moved away from mine to explore my neck, and were now making their way down, towards my chest. I felt his hand exploring my back, looking for the clasp of my bra, and I managed to pant out some semblance of a sentence.

"Front clasp," I gasped. "It's a damn front clasp!"

Edward moved his hand from my back to my front, where he found the clasp and flicked it open. His eyes went even darker when he pulled away to look at me without a bra on for the first time. I felt a blush rise in my cheeks and make it's way down my chest and began to move my arms up to cover myself, but Edward's hands stopped me.

"God, even your breasts' blush," he muttered, before he bent his head down to lave his tongue over the nipple, before blowing on it, causing it to grow hard. I gasped and my back arched at the foreign feeling. I had never let Mike's hands wander that far north, so this was new territory for me.

"Do that again," I ordered, not caring if I sounded bossy. All I wanted was to feel that electric pulse again. Edward chuckled against the soft skin of my breast, but repeated the process on my other breast.

"You are gorgeous," Edward stated, moving back up my body to kiss me again. "and these are the most magnificent breasts I've ever seen."

I laughed breathlessly.

"Oh? Have you seen many breasts before?" I asked, trying to make my voice sound light. I just sounded out of breath.

Edward shot me a wicked little grin.

"Not outside of playboy," he replied cheekily, and returned his talented mouth to my chest before I could reply to that revelation.

"Not… fair," I moaned out. Edward just chuckled, and began to lick, nip, and kiss his way down towards my jeans.

I had never realized how sensitive my navel was until Edward laved it with his tongue, causing my back to arch once more.

"Let's see what we have down here," Edward murmured, flicking the button of my jeans open, and slowly lowering the zipper. I raised my hips so he could pull the jeans off. He moved painfully slow, and I just wanted him to hurry the hell-

_I hear the drums echoing tonight/But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation/Shes coming in 12:30 flight/The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation…_

Edward and I both stopped and looked at each other.

"Is that _Toto_?" I asked incredulously.

"It's Carlisle's ringer," he replied. "It's his favourite song."

"Ignore it?" I asked.

"Ignore it," he agreed, and moved back towards my pants, managing to get them off before the song started playing again.

He stopped and rested his head on my stomach, his eyes closed in resignation.

"Damn cockblocker," I heard him mutter, and I couldn't help but giggle.

The phone began to play "Africa" for the third time, and Edward grabbed it, flipping it open and hissing out _"what?"_ angrily. I sighed as Edward moved away, muttering to Carlisle on the phone. The mood was thoroughly ruined now, and though I was disappointed, I realized it was maybe a good thing. If Carlisle hadn't called, I was pretty sure I knew what we would have ended up doing, and it would have been done without protection.

I grabbed Edward's shirt and pulled it on (it hit mid-thigh on me), before sitting down to survey Edward as he spoke to his father. Now that the cloud of lust had dispersed, I was able to admire Edward shamelessly. His muscle wasn't bulky, but instead he had a lean, wiry strength. If he were a wildcat, he would be a cougar rather than a tiger. The plane of his back rippled as he moved around, and his abs were clearly defined.

I decided to have a shower and leave his Edward to his phone call when I found myself wanting to lick the dips of those abs.

Probably a cold shower.

I looked back at Edward once more before I reached the bathroom. He was watching me a possessive, predatory look that told me that he _really _liked me in his clothes.

_Definitely_ a cold shower…

_**A/N: Ah, don't you love Carlisle? Any way, musical inspiration for this chapter is "Love Game" by Lady GaGa (cause Bella wants to take a ride on Edward's disco stick) and "Africa" by Toto (look it up- it's amazing). For those who review this chapter, you get to read about the excursion to the hospital from Edward's POV, because we all love ourselves a little Edward. Hope you enjoyed it ;)**_


	11. To Those I've Left Behind

_**A/N: Over seventy reviews for the last chapter, guys. That's freaking amazing!! There was so much hate on Carlisle, though. That's why I decided to show you what's going on in Forks, and to give you the Edward/Carlisle convo from the good doctor's view. Once again, look at the end of the chapter for your new review incentive. I think you'll like this one. Please enjoy:**_

**Eleven. To Those I've Left Behind**

**Carlisle POV**

People always pitied Esme and me. They never had to say anything, but I could see it in their eyes. They pitied us because we had the "difficult" foster child. The one who always caused problems.

They felt pity for us, and I felt pity for them, because they would never know the truly wonderful person my son truly was, beneath the bad boy exterior. Edward had lead a difficult life, and he had made his mistakes, but he was not the evil devil child so many made him out to be.

"Dr. Cullen, Chief Swan is here to see you."

I looked up from the chart I was reading to see Rachel Stanley standing behind me, flanked by Charlie Swan. Rachel's face was bland, but her eyes were burning with curiosity. After two days, everyone knew that the police chief's daughter had run away with Edward. It was the talk of the town. I had to wonder which the chief was angrier about- the inevitable comparisons made between Bella and his ex-wife Renee, or that Bella had run away with my son, whom I was sure Charlie had warned her away from numerous times.

"How can I help you, Charlie?" I asked, keeping my voice polite but distant. Any cordiality our relationship had once had, had disappeared when I'd refused to help him hunt down our children and drag them back.

"You can tell me your son's phone number," Charlie snarled in reply, not bothering to give even the façade of politeness. "Bella isn't answering hers, and I'm worried about what your son is doing to her."

"What Edward's _doing_ to her?" My voice was now little more polite than Charlie's had been. "Edward would _not_ hurt Isabella, Chief Swan. I'm insulted that you would insinuate otherwise."

"It's not _hurting _I'm worried about," Charlie growled. "It's seducing. Mike Newton had a very interesting conversation with Bella that left him, and me, worried about what your son might be convincing her to do!"

"Isabella is eighteen, chief," I replied coolly. "I don't think you get an opinion on what she does anymore. If she wishes to be seduced, then I suppose you'll just have to let her be seduced."

I thought for a moment that Charlie might hit me, but instead he turned away and paced the floor a few times before taking a deep breath to calm himself and turn back to me.

"I have nothing but respect for you, Carlisle," he said, his voice calmer that it had been. "But if your son so much as touches a hair on my daughter's head-"

"You'll what?" I interrupted. "They're both legal adults and can do as they please. We have no say anymore, Charlie."

"Because you had so much say before that," Charlie scoffed.

"Excuse me? Care to explain that, Chief Swan?" my voice was deadly calm, too calm, and it seemed to intimidate Charlie for a moment. But he was not a coward, and so he continued.

"You've let that boy go wild since he got here, Carlisle. If you'd disciplined him a bit more, then he wouldn't have manipulated Bella into running off with him, and we wouldn't be the topic of the whole town's gossip!"

I surveyed the angry, red-faced man and felt the first stirring of pity for him. It had to be hard. I had never met his ex, but I knew all about Renee thanks to the town gossip. This was the second time that the chief of police was the center of the town's gossip mill, an uncomfortable position for a man as private as Charlie Swan.

Still, Edward was my son, and my pity was not enough to allow me to let a slight to him pass.

"Edward is not as evil as you seem to think he his, Charlie," I said softly. I met his eyes, and continued to speak, "nor is Bella as angelic. Did it ever cross your mind that, perhaps, she left because she was sick of the pedestal you had put her on? She is a teenager, yet from what I've gathered she's never really been a child."

"You don't know anything about my daughter, so keep your theories about her to yourself!" Charlie thundered. "Call your son and tell him to bring my daughter home, or else I _will_!!"

That said, Charlie spun around and stomped away angrily. I was left behind to sigh and wonder how we had gotten into this situation in the first place.

-*-

"What's this I hear about you getting into a fist fight with Charlie Swan at the hospital?"

It's a wonderful day when those are the words your wife greets you with at the door.

"Is that what they're saying happened?" I asked, hanging up my coat and kissing Esme on the cheek. Even after close to twenty years of marriage, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

"Yes. Abigail Mallory couldn't wait to tell me about it when I stopped at the supermarket this afternoon. Apparently she heard from Dolores Newton, who had heard from her husband who got it from Jack Stanley who heard it from-"

"Rachel Stanley," I finished for her. "I should have realized she couldn't wait to spread the story around. She lives for gossip. Chief Swan and I had words, but there was no physical violence," I cupped Esme's face in my hands so that I could give her a real kiss before I rested my head on hers. I gave a sigh. This was what I needed- I needed my wife to just hold me.

"What did you have words about?" Esme asked me softly, wrapping her arms tightly around my waist and kissing my throat.

"Edward and Isabella, what else?" I buried my nose in her hair so I could smell her. I loved Esme's smell- it was so fresh, so beautiful. Much like the woman herself.

"What did he have to say that hasn't already been said?" Esme asked.

"Apparently Michael Newton called Bella, and whatever he was told convinced him that Edward is trying to seduce her," I sighed again and pulled away from my wife. "Charlie informs me that I'm to tell Edward that he either brings Bella back, or the chief will go after them himself."

"He can't make Bella come back," Esme was a kind hearted woman, but she was also very much a realist. "She's eighteen. What she does is her own choice."

"I know that, you know that, and Charlie just refuses to acknowledge that," I ran my hand through my hair. "I'm going to call Edward. Even if Charlie hadn't made his demands, I want to make sure they're okay and we haven't heard from them since the night they left."

"They're fine," Esme ran her hand up and down my back. "I can't believe the chief think Edward would seduce his daughter though! Edward has made mistakes, but I raised him to be a gentleman and… you think he might try to seduce her as well. What do you know that I don't?"

I wasn't sure what had shown on my face to give my thoughts away, but whatever it was had allowed Esme to read me like a book and I grinned sheepishly at her.

"Edward has had a crush on Isabella Swan for years," I admitted sheepishly. "I'm not sure exactly when it started, but almost since the first time she visited me at the hospital he's come afterwards to ask me if she would be okay. He's eighteen Esme. I remember what it's like to be eighteen and infatuated with a girl," I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her onto the couch so that I was laying with her on top of me. "I was infatuated and in love with you when I was Edward's age. Honestly, I thought of little else besides seducing you."

"I remember," Esme agreed. "It didn't matter that you were class valedictorian, my father still hated you because he walked in on us kissing on the couch that one day," a faint blush rose in her cheeks. "We were awfully lucky he didn't arrive fifteen minutes earlier."

I smiled and pressed a kiss to her lips. I remembered that day well.

"I'm going to call Edward. I'll make sure they're okay, and that he's not seducing the police chief's daughter."

"Fine then," Esme kissed my chin. "I'll go and heat up dinner."

I watched her walk into the kitchen, feeling my heart swell with the love I felt for her, then I picked up my cell and dialled Edward's number. The three of us had a plan, and calling cell to cell was free so I chose to use mine over the land line.

There was no answer.

I frowned down at the phone in my hand. There were several reasons Edward could not be answering. They could still be driving, or he could be in the washroom…

Or they could be dead on the side of the road.

It hit redial.

Still no answer.

My mind was filling up with all sorts of horrific, gory images. Images of motorcycle accidents I could recall from driver's ed and med school.

I hit redial again.

"What?" Edward hissed angrily after the second ring.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Not dead on the side of the road.

Then my mind filled up with thoughts of what had possibly kept Edward from the phone on my last two attempts.

_"It's not hurting I'm worried about. It's seducing. Mike Newton had a very interesting conversation with Bella that left him, and me, worried about what your son might be convincing her to do!"_

Charlie's words came back to me, and I frowned into the phone.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, were you just trying to seduce Isabella Swan?" I thundered. I had told Esme that I remembered being eighteen, and I did, but I was also a father.

Seduction wasn't acceptable to a father.

"What?" Edward's voice cracked suspiciously. "No. Why would you even wonder tha.." Edward's words trailed off into a groan.

"What's the matter? Are you injured son?" thoughts of seduction and anger were replaced by worry when I heard the pained sound.

"My shirt," he choked quietly, and I was no longer sure that he was even aware he was talking to me. "She's sitting there, in my shirt… and that's _evil_. Evil little vixen."

"Son!" I barked, suddenly uncomfortable as I began to put the puzzle pieces together. "Focus, please."

There was silence on the other end of the line, and I realized that Edward really had forgotten that he was speaking to me. The silence was thick with embarrassment. In the silence I heard the sound of a door shut, and wondered if Edward had left whatever room he was occupying, or if Bella had.

"Uh… if you could forget you heard that, it would be greatly appreciated," he said at last. "I really don't want to have that conversation with you right now."

"If you're seducing the police chief's daughter, I think we maybe should have that conversation. Do you even have protection?"

I heard Edward curse, and I raised an eyebrow even though he couldn't see it.

"Seducing Isabella Swan without protection would be a very bad idea, Edward," I pointed out dryly.

"I'm aware of that," Edward snapped. "And I didn't seduce her, or even try to. I was planning on keeping my hands off until she got over Newton and Stanley and her sheets-"

I mouthed the word sheets wordlessly, wondering what on earth that had to do with anything. I knew about Michael Newton and Jessica Stanley of course. Everyone in Forks did, especially since Jessica had been heard cursing Mike out loudly in his parent's store for being such a jerk who was too hung up on Bella Swan.

I focussed back on the conversation as I realized Edward still spoke.

"-she straddled me, Dad… and I really shouldn't be talking to you about this, but damn it! How was I supposed to resist that?" I blinked, unable to find words. Isabella had _straddled_ him? I thought of my eighteen year old self, and what I would have done at that age if Esme had straddled me.

I couldn't help but agree with Edward. How _were_ you supposed to resist something like that?

"Uhm…" I hummed uncomfortably. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," I decided at last. "Because I really don't know what to say on the matter. I will, however, tell you that having sex with the police chief's daughter, even if she is the one doing the straddling, would be a very bad idea. He said that if you don't bring her back, he'll be coming to do it himself."

There was a long silence on the other end of the line. I heard a door open again, and then Edward's sharp intake of breath.

"I'm sorry Dad, but I'm only so strong. I'm already going to hell, I might as well make sure I do it thoroughly."

There was a click, then a dial tone. I was left to stare at my cell, wondering what the hell had just happened.

"Carlisle, dinner is read- what's wrong? Is Edward alright? Did something happen?"

"I don't think we have to worry about Edward seducing Isabella," I said to Esme, who stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Oh really, why not?" Esme responded curiously.

"She's too busy seducing _him_," I responded. Esme stared at me for a second, then began to giggle. "Don't laugh Esme, what do I tell Charlie?"

"That we're not sure we like Edward running off with such a bad influence?" Esme suggested between giggles.

I rolled my eyes, and looked down at my cell, which was vibrating with a text.

_BTW, Bella broke her wrist. Any suggestions for some good doctors between Spokane and Chicago?_

I sighed for the hundredth time that day.

_**A/N2: Poor Carlisle found out more about the B/E relationship than he really wanted. And who else agrees with Dr. C that Charlie needs to take Bella off her pedestal? Anyway, since there wasn't anything to really write from another POV in this chapter, I decided to offer reviewers the Bella seduction from the last chapter in EPOV. If you want to know what our favourite bad boy was thinking, then leave me a review and you can find out. Make sure PMs are enabled, though, or else I can't send it to you. I ran into that problem with a couple of people last chapter.**_


	12. Crazier

_**A/N: I'm glad that I got such a good response on the CPOV. I was a little nervous about changing it up after what happened in chapter ten, but it was necessary to set up this chapter. You'll see why. Thanks to all the reviewers (99 last time I checked, the most I've ever gotten for a single chapter), and everyone who has favorited/alerted this story. Don't forget to check out the new review incentive at the end of the chapter. Here is:**_

**Twelve. Crazier**

After I had secured my cast in a plastic bag (I was quite skilled at this after eighteen years of experience), I got in the shower and let the cold water wash over me and wash away the lust that had controlled me since we had returned from the hospital. After five minutes I was shivering, felt rather like a drowned rat, and could think of nothing but warming up, so I cranked up the hot water and sighed as I felt it wash away the cold.

God I love hot showers. The hotter the better as far as I'm concerned.

Thinking about heat made me think about Edward and the way he touched me, and before I knew it my hands were wandering where they shouldn't. With a curse, I turned the cold water back on and repeated the de-lusting process.

Once the cold had washed away the heat once again, I turned off the shower and climbed out, wrapping a towel around myself. There was no point in trying to shower in hot water again- it would just create a never ending cycle.

I looked around and realized the only clothing I have with me in the bathroom was Edward's shirt. I can still remember the look in his eyes when he saw me in it- they were burning, possessive, and _lustful_.

I shivered at the memory, and then abruptly pushed it from my mind. I was not going to have another goddamn cold shower! Instead, I concentrated on drying myself off, and then pulled on Edward's shirt. I hoped I could sneak over to my bag and slip on some clean underwear while Edward was still talking to Carlisle.

The whole shower was really badly planned out.

I opened the door, and Edward glanced at me over his shoulder, his burning gaze moving slowly from my legs up until his eyes meet mine. They were forest green again, and I suddenly felt like I needed another cold shower.

He muttered something into the phone, then shut it and began to slowly make his way over to me, reminding me once again of a cougar, all sleekly muscled and ready to pounce.

And I felt like the deer he was preparing to pounce on.

"So… how's Carlisle?" I asked, my voice sounding too high. I grabbed a clean pair of underwear and balled them into my fist behind my back. I tried to plan the best way to get back to the bathroom to put them on even as Edward answered.

"Same old same old. He wanted to see how we were, warn me not to seduce the police chief's daughter," he replied, seeming to casually send a text on his phone though his eyes never left mine. I slowly sidled towards the bathroom as he spoke, but he nimbly moved in front of me, his arms coming up to rest on the wall on either side of my head. My exit was effectively cut off, and Edward was looking at me like the cat who ate the canary… if the cat were horny.

"Well… we shouldn't disobey the good doctor, so," I tried to duck under his arm, but he blocked my attempt and clucked his tongue mockingly at me.

"Now Bella, surely you aren't going to chicken out now? After working so hard to get me riled?"

I gulped at the thought of Edward riled… in bed…

I _really _needed another cold shower.

"We can't do this right now, Edward," I said at last, deciding to be the voice of reason. Edward buried his head in my neck, kissing and nibbling along it's length, and I felt my knees grow weak at the sensation, but I realized I had to be strong. "We really can't."

Edward stopped kissing me, but kept his face nestled in the crook of my neck.

"I know," he said wistfully. "But it was nice to think we could for a while. You're incredibly tempting."

"We aren't prot- what do you mean _you know_?" I pulled away from him to look at him incredulously.

"Carlisle pointed it out on the phone," Edward replied. "We have no protection, and while I _really_ like you… being your baby daddy just isn't…"

"A good plan right now?" I suggested, filling in the blank when Edward seemed uncertain how to finish.

"Exactly," Edward agreed. "Although this whole situation is really crap, because I don't think I've ever seen anything quite as hot as you in my shirt…" he trailed off for a moment with a wicked grin, before adding, "without any underwear."

I felt the blush rise into my cheeks, and I buried my face in my hands, then blushed even harder when I realized I still held the underwear, and now Edward could get a good view of them.

"Hmmm…" he plucked them out of my hands, holding them up. They were boycuts and pink and matched one of the bras currently in my bag. Wal-Mart had surprisingly nice lingerie. "These are interesting."

I reached up and snatched them out of his hand, and quickly stepped into them, shimmying them up my legs.

"You're kind of a perv, aren't you?" I asked him, crossing my arms across my chest to give him a critical glare.

"I'm usually not," he replied sheepishly, running a hand through his bronze hair. "It's you in my shirt… it does things to me."

"Oh," I bit my lip and looked down. "Do you want me to take it off?"

I suddenly felt self-conscious. This was Edward. Edward who I'd hardly spoken to up until two days ago, but who seemed to understand me better than all of the people who called themselves my friends. Edward who I'd very nearly had sex with not half an hour ago. My prior experience didn't really help me in this situation, and I didn't know what to do or say.

"No," Edward burst out, startling me out of my inner monologue. "Leave it on… it looks good on you. Much better than it does on me," he placed his hands on my hips, and I felt an electric jolt go through me at the contact. "Are you regretting… you know, what we did earlier?"

I stared up into his green eyes, and realized that he was every bit as nervous as me. I didn't have much experience to help me with this situation, but neither did Edward.

"No. I don't regret it for a second," I replied. "I just…" I bit my lip again, unsure how to continue.

The thing was, I didn't want Edward to think I was a cock tease, but I wasn't entirely sure that I was ready to let him hit a home run. I wanted to know him, to talk to him, and something told me that once we finally went all the way there wouldn't be a lot of talking going on.

"You just what, Bella?" Edward asked me. "You can tell me."

"I don't want you to think I'm a bitch-"

"I could never think that, Bella," Edward pulled me into his arms so he could hug me, and rub soothing circles on my back. I felt my heart melt a little. I don't think I could remember ever really being hugged by somebody, at least not to comfort me.

Charlie wasn't exactly a physical affection type of guy, Renee had always been too scatter-brained to really realize when I was upset and Mike…

Well, Mike always used hugs as an excuse to try and feel me up, so I tried to avoid giving him any.

I let myself go soft in Edward's arms and hug him back, enjoying the feeling. His hands stayed on my back, not trying to cop a feel, and he just offered free comfort.

"Tell me?" he asked me softly.

"I'm not sure if I'm ready," I admitted. "To… you know, go all the way," I pulled back so I could meet his eyes. "I like you Edward, and I would like to try… you know, for a relationship. But I'm just not ready for sex. Not yet."

Edward didn't say anything, and I suddenly felt mortified. What if he didn't really want a relationship? I knew that he had said that he'd had a thing for me for four years, but a "thing" could easily be interpreted as "I want your body" and here I had assumed he wanted something more and-

He was speaking, and I hadn't heard a word he said.

"Uh… what was that again?" I asked weakly.

Edward laughed at me, and bent down to kiss the tip of my nose.

"Silly Bella, your mind was working a mile a minute. I said that I'll take whatever you'll give me," he tilted my chin up so our eyes met. "I'm not saying that I don't hope to ah… _go all the way with you_, because I do. But I'm not going to force you into something you're not ready for. I don't want to be a quick fling before you go off to University in the fall, Bella. I'd like for us to have something…_real_. When you're ready, I'll be there to pop your cherry," he grinned when I punched him in the shoulder at those words, "but until then, I can settle for kisses and just being around you… although…" he trailed off, looking uncertain.

"Although what?" I asked, quirking my head.

"I'd like to sleep with you- just sleep. I'd like to hold you," there was a flush rising in his cheeks. "And if anyone from Forks could hear me now they'd think I was becoming a total girl."

My reply was to grab his face in both my hands and plant a kiss on his mouth. I meant for it to be relatively quick, but my (and Edward's) hormones disagreed, and soon I found myself on my back on the bed, the shirt I was wearing pushed up to just under my breasts, and his hands exploring the bare skin of my waist and stomach.

"Stop," I gasped out. "We have to stop Edward."

Edward pulled away as if he had been burned and grinned at me sheepishly.

"Sorry, I don't know what got into me and-"

"It was both of us," I replied, straightening the shirt. I worried my lip, then sighed and spoke. "I'm not ready to have sex, but I think a visit to the pharmacy should be in our future plans," when he looked at me in confusion, I explained. "If something should happen that we lose control and can't resist temptation… well, I want to be prepared. That means protection, so…" I blushed bright red, and when I glanced at Edward from under my lashes I saw that he was also flushed.

"Oh… well, you're right," he cleared his throat. "And with that… I need a shower. A cold shower… a very cold shower…"

I giggled as he jumped up and entered the bathroom. I was glad that I wasn't the only one who was required to seek out cold water in order to control their hormones.

Once he was gone, I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to see what he found so desirable about me in his shirt. It was a simple dark green button down that reached me mid-thigh. Maybe it was the leg it showed? Mike had told me that I had nice legs, but he had been on one of his "get-into-Bella's-pants" campaigns at the time, so I wasn't sure if he had been telling the truth or not.

I frowned, not able to find what Edward saw. I though guys were supposed to like clothing that showed off a girl's figure… the shirt hid what curve's I did have under its bulk.

"What are you doing, Bella?"

I jumped in the air with a surprised squeal, almost falling over. Apparently I had been standing in front of the mirror longer than I realized, because Edward was in the doorway to the bathroom, watching me with a raised brow. He had a towel in one hand and was using it to dry his hair. Besides that, all he wore were a pair of black pyjama pants.

"I was…" I trailed off, blushing both from embarrassment at being caught checking myself out, and because, once again, Edward's abs were looking very lickable.

"You were," Edward motioned for me to continue, but I pursed my lips together and shook my head. "Oh, c'mon Bella. Don't leave me hanging."

"I was trying to figure out why you liked me in your shirt so much," I replied, very quickly. It said much about Edward's ability to understand me that he seemed to catch it all.

"You wouldn't understand it, Isabella," Edward came up to me, and turned me around so that I was looking into the mirror again. He wrapped his arms around my waist and laid his chin on my shoulder so we could both survey our reflections in the mirror. "It's a guy thing. Seeing you in that shirt… well it sends me back to the days of the caveman. It's… when you're wearing something of mine, something that smells like me, it feels like I've… left my mark on you," his face turned red as he said this last bit.

I met his eyes in the mirror and watched him thoughtfully. It seemed that Edward had a possessive side.

"I kind of like it," I admitted. "This possessive side of you. It makes me feel… wanted."

"You'll always be wanted," Edward pressed a kiss into my neck. "You're too beautiful to not be desired."

I chose not to comment on that, instead turning around so I could take his hand in mine.

"Let's go to bed Edward."

That was the first night I fell asleep in Edward Cullen's arms. It was the best sleep I'd ever had.

-*-

I woke up the next morning to the sun shining in my face and Edward bursting loudly through the door of our motel room.

"We have to get up and get going," he threw a pair of pants and a shirt at me before stuffing my dirty laundry into another bag along with his own. When I didn't move, he sighed. "Hurry Bella. We really have to get going. Charlie's here."

That got me moving.

"What!?" I shrieked, jumping up and pulling the jeans on and stripping off the shirt I had been sleeping in to finish getting dressed. When I looked at Edward again, he frozen and gaping at me. "Move it, Edward. It's not like you haven't already seen them. And I don't know about you, but I really don't want to have to deal with my _gun owning_ father the night after we made it to third base. Do you?"

That got Edward into motion as he finished packing up our sparse belongings.

"How do you know Charlie's here anyway?" I asked pulling on my converse and leather jacket.

"I saw him when I was… uh…" he held up a paper bag he was about to shove into his pack. It had a pharmacy label on it.

"Oh," I flushed. "Well… we can talk about that once we're out of town. I can't believe Charlie came after us. Couldn't Carlisle have given you some warning? I mean, it's _Forks_. It's not like he wouldn't have known that Charlie was coming after us," Edward had a guilty, sheepish look on his face. "And you knew. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought we'd have more time. Carlisle said Charlie told him to get us home, or else he'd come after us. I guess he was serious."

"I could've told you he was serious," Bella huffed. "There's no time for me to rail at you right now, so I'll wait until we're safe. Shit, this is bad. He's so going to drag us back and-"

"Bella, he can't make you do anything you don't want to," Edward framed my face in his hands and kissed me softly on the mouth. "You're eighteen. Besides, he won't find us. I have a plan."

"Uh… the last time you had a plan, you had to spend six thousand dollars to bail relative strangers out of jail. It makes me nervous when you say you have a plan."

"Bella," Edward rolled his eyes. "Please, have a little faith," he held up one of our tourist brochures. "What kind of trouble can we get into at Mount Rushmore?"

"Mount Rushmore?" I snatched the brochure from his hand, grabbed my pack, and motioned for him to lead the way out of the room. "Isn't that a little out of our way?"

"Exactly," Edward grabbed the pack from me. I rolled my eyes, but let him take it. "No one will expect us to take such a round about way. Besides, what's a cross-country trip without a visit to Mount Rushmore?"

"Can we go down this giant slide?" I pointed at one of the attractions in the brochure.

"Darling," Edward moved both packs to one arm and slung the free one around my shoulders. "We can do whatever you want."

"Well then… take me for a ride, Edward."

I laughed at the choking sound he made at my words, and skipped to the elevator. I had never realized how much fun flirting could be. I giggled at the look on Edward's face as he stepped on the elevator with me. It promised retribution, and I was sure that whatever he came up with, I'd enjoy.

My amusement held up until I had taken exactly three steps off of the elevator.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!!"

That's when Charlie spotted us.

_**A/N2: Yes, I am leaving it there. Reviews get me to update quicker. They also let you read about Edward's visit to the pharmacy. Musical inspiration for this chapter is "Crazier" by Taylor Swift, mostly because this is the chapter where Bella really starts to fall for our boy Edward. To those who want the extra but don't have a fanfiction account, or can't receive PMs, please leave you e-mail in the myemail whatever (dot) com format or else FF will delete it.**_

_**Later!**_


	13. My Little Girl

_**A.N: Yes, I know it's been forever. I'm really, really sorry. I'd hoped to update around two or three weeks ago, but sadly the internet connection at home is crap. Now, I am back in rez, with my high speed connection, and am able to update. Please enjoy:**_

**Thirteen. My Little Girl**

**Charlie POV**

There are very few times in my life I have ever been truly angry with my daughter. There had never been a need, as Bella had always been mature beyond her years. I had felt guilty about that at times. Renee had always been such a free spirit, and it seemed as if Bella had been more the mother in that relationship than Renee had ever been. I'd often wondered if I'd done the right thing by not fighting for custody since Bella had come to Forks.

Yes, there were very few times when I'd been angry with Isabella. This time, though, made up for the lack of rebellion to this point.

When she had told me that she had run off with the Cullen boy, I had been worried. He was a trouble maker, and it wasn't like Bella to hang around a trouble maker. I had been worried, but I had also been certain she would come home when I told her to. Bella had always been well behaved, and I hadn't thought this situation would be any different.

When she refused to come home, I had been livid as well as worried. It was so incredibly _stupid_ of her to ride off on one of those death traps, especially behind the driver that particular death trap. It had been so against Bella's character, that I found myself wondering what I had done wrong. What had I done to cause her to run off with Edward Cullen? Did I fish too much? Not spend enough time with her? I would make that up if she would just come home.

When she stopped answering phone, I found my worry and my anger growing, and growing, until it reached a peak in Walgreen's when I had seen that delinquent asshole staring at me wide-eyed holding a bottle of lubricant.

I may not be a teenager, but I wasn't stupid. I knew what lubricant was used for.

It had been pure luck that I had managed to catch their trail in Ellensburg. It was really only because a buddy of mine from the Police Academy, Anthony, worked there and had recognized Bella from pictures I had shown him over the years. When Cullen and Bella had come in to bail some folks out, Anthony had called me, wondering if I was in the neighbourhood as well. Once I knew the direction they were headed, all it had taken was some common sense and a chance sighting at Walgreen's to find them.

Now, I found myself seeing red as I caught sight of my daughter trying to sneak out of the hotel lobby with the asshole at her side.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!!" I roared, charging towards the pair. I wasn't sure what I would have done had I reached them- possibly ripped the Cullen kid apart, but the hotel security stopped me before I reached them.

"Sir, please calm down," said one, grasping my arms. "We can't have you disturbing our guests."

"It's okay," Bella found her voice and stepped towards us. Cullen was staring at her as if she were insane, and grasped her wrist, muttering something to her that caused her to roll her eyes and reply, "he's not going to shoot you Edward."

She sounded far more certain of that than I was.

Bella must have seen something in my face, because she continued to speak.

"You are _not_ going to harm him in any way, shape, or form, Dad. If you don't agree to that, then I won't talk to you. I'm eighteen, I don't have to say anything to you about my choice. I'm only talking to you now because I love, and I'd rather you didn't hate my guts."

I felt her words deflate my puffed up anger. Hate her? Had she honestly thought I'd hated her?

"I don't hate you, Bella. I'm worried about you."

"That's fine. Your word, Dad."

"I won't hurt him," I grumbled darkly, wondering if lynching really hurt, or if that was just a rumour someone had started so people would fear it.

Bella stared hard at me for a few minutes, before she seemed to believe that I was genuine in my word.

"We're all going back up to the room, and we're going to talk about this. Don't look at me like that, Edward. You heard him, he won't hurt you," she reached out and grasped his hand in her own, stroking it with her other and her voice, and eyes, softened, "I won't let him hurt you."

I had to fight back an urge to tear them apart. I didn't want the Cullen kid touching my daughter. I knew what teenage boys wanted, and I was terrified that he would get it and toss Bella aside at some truck stop in California, or something.

The elevator ride to their room was awkward. I wanted to rant and rave, and tell Cullen to let go of Bella's hand, but we shared the elevator with a middle aged couple and I really didn't want to attract security's attention again so I stayed silent. I could have sighed with relief when we finally entered their room.

I didn't have to stay silent anymore.

"What the hell were you thinking?" I hissed at Bella the second the door was shut. "Running of with some boy you hardly know? That is so incredibly stupid!"

Bella sighed and sat on one of the beds. It was neatly made, I noted, while the other wasn't. Bella seemed to realize this at the same time as me, because she blanched.

"You son of a bitch!" I roared at Cullen, my hands going for his throat. His eyes widened in terror, and he scrambled back away from me.

"Charlie, stop!" Bella roared, throwing herself between Cullen and me. Her eyes burned with fierceness and for the first time since she had returned to live with me, I found myself viewing her as a woman rather than the child I had always felt her to be. Her hands pressed firmly against my chest and pushed me onto the untouched bed. "Sit down, and listen to me for five minutes, Charlie."

"Don't call me that," I replied irritably. "I'm your fath-"

"_Fine_," Bella interrupted. "Stop talking and listen, _Dad_. I am eighteen. I realize that you don't like what I'm doing. Trust me- I really get _that_. But that doesn't give you permission to hunt me down to drag me back to Forks. For one thing, you don't have that right anymore. If you try, I can report _you_ to the police for attempted kidnapping, which would look really bad."

"You wouldn't do that," I replied numbly, not entirely sure if I was right or not. As recently as seventy-two hours ago I wouldn't have doubted my words, but Bella was acting so out of character that I was no longer sure I had ever really known my daughter.

"No," Bella's eyes softened. "I wouldn't. But I could. Dad, you have to trust me sometime. I can't be your little girl for the rest of my life."

"So you go to college in the fall. You were accepted to UW," I replied. "You don't have to run off with the town's juvenile delinquent. That doesn't inspire trust, Bella. It makes me wonder if you'll be okay on your own at all."

"One mistake does not make Edward the Spawn of Satan, Dad," Bella retorted. "It makes him a dumb teenage male. Forks seems to be rampant with them these days."

"Thanks, Bella," Edward murmured dryly. He shut up quickly when both Bella and I glared at him.

"Shut up, Edward," was all she said before turning back to me.

"He's a troublemaker, Bella," I motioned at Cullen. "What ever happened to you and Mike? He's a nice kid, and I thought the two of you were going to be going to Seattle together. Isn't he going to UW for some business management course? He's a boy with a good head on his shoulders-"

"Actually," Bella cut me off coldly. "He's a boy who got caught with his hands down my best friend's pants, which you'd know if you'd bothered to find out why I left Forks to begin with. And I'm not going to Seattle in the fall. I got accepted into Cornell's English program, which you'd also know if you'd bothered to ask."

I felt myself choke. _Cornell_?

"When were you going to tell me?" I asked.

"I tried to tell you on Thursday, but you were too busy getting ready to leave for one of your fishing trips. The paper work is already filled out and I've been accepted into the dorms," Bella sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "The program is really good, far better than anything UW has, and it has the added bonus of getting me far away from Mike which is a good thing right now."

"You never mentioned being accepted to Cornell," Cullen murmured, grasping Bella's hand in his. "That's a big deal."

Bella shrugged uneasily and blushed under the praise.

"It never really came up," she replied. "And you didn't seem to really want to talk about school, so I didn't mention it and-"

I almost leapt at Cullen again when he silenced Bella by kissing her, but they broke apart before I could act on the urge.

"I'm sorry I was a jerk about school. You should have been able to tell someone. That's exciting."

"Yeah," Bella flushed faintly with pride. "I guess it kind of is, isn't it?"

"We can discuss this more when we're back in Forks," I interrupted the tender moment. "But it is a big deal, Bells. I'm sorry that I didn't listen," I reached out for her, but she stepped away.

"You're missing the most important point in all of this, Dad," she told me. "I'm _not_ going back to Forks. For the first time in my life, I feel free. Edward makes me feel that way, Dad. I can't come back, not yet. I still have more to figure out."

"Not with him you don't!" I growled, pointing at Cullen. "Do you know what he was buying at the pharmacy when I saw him? It was fucking lubricant!"

Bella made a choking sound and mouthed the word _'lubricant'_ before turning to Cullen.

"Lubricant?" she asked incredulously. "I thought you were just getting condoms!"

_That_ made me choke again, but both Bella and Edward ignored me.

"I was," Edward replied, blushing fiercely. "But, well… I've never exactly _needed_ to buy that sort of stuff before, and I wasn't sure what to get… so I asked the clerk and _she_ knew her stuff, so, well…" he picked up the pharmacy bag and handed it to Bella, who looked in curiously.

"Why. Do. The. Two. Of. You. Need. Condoms?" I asked, annunciating each word very clearly.

As if just realizing I was still in the room, both teenagers turned bright red and exchanged alarmed looks.

"Well, Dad… let's calm down and discuss this like adults and-"

"Talking is done. Now he dies," I replied, and leapt for Cullen once more. He managed to dodge my attack, which made me land on the other bed. When I made to leap at him again, Bella jumped on my back, holding on for dear life.

"This is not how we talk stuff out, Charlie!" she shouted, refusing to release me. "You need to calm down. You're not as young as you used to be, and you eat a lot of deep fried shit. All this physical activity is not good for your heart!"

"Killing horny little whelps keeps a man young!" I snarled in reply, trying to shake Bella off.

"Or it puts them in an early grave," Bella managed to throw me off balance so that we landed on the bed. "Now. Stay there and listen again. Edward and I have _not_ had sex. I just broke up with Mike three days ago, and I'm not ready for that step," she swept her now wild brown hair out of her face. "I do, however, think Edward is really attractive. Far more attractive than I ever thought Mike was. I may not plan on having sex with Edward right away," Bella's face was growing increasingly red as she spoke, showing her embarrassment over this conversation. "But sometimes stuff… happens. If that stuff should happen, I'd like to be protected. That's why Edward got the condoms… and the lubricant is just…well you heard the explanation," she sighed. "Charlie, you have to learn to trust me eventually, and Edward isn't all that bad. He cares about me, he has since he moved here. He'll treat me better than Mike ever would," Bella grasped my hand in her own. "I'm not asking you to like this, or to even approve of it… but you do have to accept it. I'm not ready to come home yet, and you no longer have the authority to make me. I'm asking you to believe in my judgment a little bit and to go back to Forks, without me."

"I can't do that, Bella," I replied. "You're my daughter, and everything tells me that what you're doing is a mistake."

Bella squeezed my hand and smiled at me.

"It might be," she agreed. "I could be making the biggest mistake of my life… but, Dad, if I give in and go home with you now, I'll always wonder what if. What if it wasn't a mistake? What if turning around was? I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering about the what ifs."

I stroked Bella's hair and looked into her earnest eyes, and then I thought about all my what ifs.

What if I had gone after Renee?

What if I had left Forks after high school, like I had originally planned?

What if my father had never gotten sick?

I closed my eyes, and for the first time in decades I sent a prayer to God, hoping that I wasn't making the biggest mistake of my life.

Because I didn't want Bella to wonder about her what ifs, either. And that meant I would let her go with Cullen, even if everything in me screamed at me to do otherwise.

-*-

"Hello?" Carlisle Cullen's voice came through my cell phone.

"If your son does anything to hurt my daughter, I'm going to kill him," I said bluntly, forgoing any hellos.

"Charlie?" Carlisle's voice was alarmed. "Where are you? What have you done?"

Bella waved at me from the back of Edward Cullen's motorcycle, then he tore out of the parking lot, her brown hair waving behind them.

"I think I just let my daughter go," I replied, my voice soft.

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone.

"It's hard, isn't it?"

"He hurts her, and he dies, Doctor. I just thought I'd warn you."

"I understand, Chief," Carlisle replied.

And I realized in that moment that, although I had thought otherwise, he did.

_**A.N2: And there it is. Hope you enjoyed this little insight to Charlie. I tried to write this as BPOV, but it just didn't work until I wrote as Charlie. Musical inspiration was "My Little Girl" sung by Tim McGraw, and the Billy Ray Cyrus only version of "Ready, Set, Don't Go". There is no bribe for this chapter, as I thought you all would probably prefer that I hurry up with the next update. Please review anyways, because reviews make the world go 'round.**_


	14. Stop the World

_**A/N: And now they're headed to South Dakota. Fun place, I went there for a holiday. Another bribe is posted in the bottom author's note, so be sure to check it out. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and may I introduce to you:**_

**Fourteen. Stop The World**

"I can't believe he let us go," Edward sounded almost dazed as he yelled above the roar of the motorcycle.

I hugged Edward tighter and thought of my Dad, and I gave a small smile.

"I can," I replied. "He wants me to be happy, Edward. Although the lubricant did nearly blow it for us."

I couldn't see his face, but I could imagine the blush that now covered it.

"Uh… about that… I'm sorry?"

"Are you?" I replied airily. "Or are you just sorry that we didn't get a chance to try it out? I do love cherries."

"Bella, you're going to be the death of me," Edward groaned, and I laughed, feeling lighter than I had since leaving Forks.

"So… Cornell," he said after a moment. "That's a long way from Forks."

"Yeah," I agreed. "I didn't think I had a chance when I applied, so I didn't really mention it to anyone. Then I got accepted and," I shrugged. "It's probably for the best that Mike and I broke up. I don't think we could have survived a relationship of a longer distance than three blocks. Hell, we couldn't even survive that apparently."

"I thought you were over Mike," Edward's voice sounded wary, and I realized how my comments must have sounded.

"Pull over," I told him.

"What? We just got started Bella, and-"

"Pull over. I want to be able to see your expression for what I'm about to say."

Edward pulled into the parking lot of a gas station. As soon as killed the engine, I got off so that I could look at him.

"Okay. First thing- we're filling up with gas here, because I don't want to run out again. But before that, I'm going to be sure we're absolutely clear on something," I pulled off both our helmets, then clasped Edward's face in my hands and kissed him fiercely. We were both gasping for breath when we pulled apart. "I am mad at Mike. He was a douchebag, so I'll probably be mad at him for a good long while. That anger, however, has nothing to do with us. Edward, in the past three days you have inspired more genuine feeling in me than Mike did in four years. Mike and I were over before we really even got started. He never inspired any feeling other than some frustration and a bit of amusement in me. When he kissed me, I usually spent the duration of it going over my grocery and laundry lists. They were mundane and completely forgettable, and that made being with him easy. I never had to worry about feeling insecure around Mike, because he didn't make me feel enough to care," I ran my fingers through his hair. "You… God, Edward! You touch me and I forget my name, I forget my plans. All I can think about is you. You kiss me and I feel like I'm on fire. I thought those kind of feelings were a cheap plot ploy in Harlequin romances. I never thought I could actually meet someone that made me want to forget about everything and just _be_ with them. Then you asked me to go away with you, and all it took was you saying _try_ and I forgot that I was supposed to be smart and responsible," I kissed Edward again. "You have four years worth of feelings on me, Edward… I'm not going to lie and say I love you. But I do think it would be incredibly easy to do, and I'm not going to try and stop the fall."

Edward buried his hands in my hair, and pulled me into his hard body for a fierce, passionate kiss. It was everything I said his kisses were. It lit me on fire, and made me forget everything but the feeling of him against me.

"Fall faster, won't you?" he murmured once we broke apart. I smiled.

"You can't rush these things, Edward," I replied. "The fall is half the fun."

-*-

The danger of Charlie was gone, but we still decided to take the more roundabout journey through South Dakota to get to the east coast. I wanted to experience Mount Rushmore and the other historical sites of the Black Hills that I had read about but never actually seen.

"You know, it's not like it's some amazing wonder," Edward told me at our Rapid City motel that night. We had driven hard the whole day, deciding to put some distance between ourselves and Washington just in case Charlie changed his mind (Edward's worry, not mine).

"It's part of America's history, Edward," I replied. "I want to see all the important parts of our country's history, as well as the odd things, like Dachshund parades."

Edward laughed at that, pulling me down into his arms. We had come to the unspoken agreement that we only needed one bed from now on. He had told me that he liked to hold me, and I couldn't deny that I liked the thought. His arms were strong, and I felt secure when he held me in them.

Plus, Edward slept without a shirt on, and I really enjoyed the opportunity to explore his physique as we lay on the bed.

"I could get used to this," Edward told me, burying his face in my hair. "You smell delicious."

"It must be the shampoo," I replied, pleased by the compliment.

"Mmmm… nope. It's just you. You smell wonderful."

I cuddled back closer into Edward and allowed the feeling of his arms and his even breathing to lull me into sleep.

I slept heavily and more comfortably than I had in what seemed like years. The next morning I awoke feeling refreshed, ready to face the world, and with something poking uncomfortably into my lower back.

I was confused and a little disorientated at first, wondering where I was. Then I realized that I was wrapped securely in Edward's arms, and if it weren't for the annoying poker, I would have been incredibly comfortable. I reached behind me, meaning to sweep whatever it was that was poking me away. When my hand came in contact with Edward's (tented) pajama pants, I froze in surprise, my hand still grazing his erection.

It took Edward moving against my hand in his sleep to make me realize that I was practically stroking my new boyfriend's morning wood. I retracted my hand quickly, and began to roll away, but Edward's arm wrapped tightly around me, pulling me back to his body. His erection was now nestled between my thighs, and his hand was cupping my breast through my tank top.

This left me in a rather uncomfortable position. I knew that it would be incredibly awkward when Edward awoke, but as it stood right now I found myself becoming increasingly aroused. Edward murmured in his sleep and pulled me even closer, his fingertips grazing my nipple, causing it harden, and his hips thrusting slightly against mine, causing rather interesting friction down below.

I held completely still, having absolutely no idea how to react in this situation. Should I wake him up? Or wait for him to wake up on his own?

"Mmmm," Edward moaned, burying his face in my neck, his hand moving so that it more fully covered my breast. I had to bite back a moan at the sensation.

"Edward," I said, my voice hoarse. I frowned at the sound and cleared my throat before trying again. "Edward, you have to get up."

Edward's response was to nuzzle my neck and rub against me. It was in that moment that I realized that, not only was Edward a deep sleeper, but he was also very affectionate in his sleep.

"Edward. You really, really need to wake up," when Edward still wouldn't wake up, I sighed, took a deep breath, and shouted, "EDWARD!!"

The loud noise made Edward roll in surprise, but since he still held onto me, I went with him.

"OOF!!" I heard the air leaver Edward's lungs as my elbow hit his stomach.

"Are you okay?" I tried to look at him, but it was difficult as we were laying so that my back was to his chest.

"Uh, yeah. Just wasn't expecting that," Edward suddenly realized his hand still held my breast and he immediately released it. "Sorry."

We scrambled apart, and when we both finally stopped moving, he stood in the center of the room, and I sat on the bed. The ridiculousness of the situation hit me and I began to giggle.

"What's so funny?" the look of confusion on Edward's face was so adorable that it just made me giggle more. I couldn't answer with words, so I let my eyes wander to where his morning wood still proudly tented his pajama pants.

Edward turned pink as he looked down.

"I wouldn't think that was so funny," he tried to grumble, but the grumpy effect was ruined by the blush.

"It's not that, it's just… this whole morning was ridiculous," I couldn't stop giggling, and was actually surprised that Edward could understand me, but the roll of his eyes told me he did.

"And what makes it so ridiculous?" he demanded, grabbing me and rolling us so that we lay entwined on the bed once more.

"I don't know if I should tell you," I replied cheekily.

"Oh really?" Edward raised an eyebrow. "I can make you tell me," he leaned down, his lips grazing mine. I grinned against his lips and shook my head, so he captured my lips in a breathtaking kiss. My tank top had ridden up in all the movement, and his fingers now took advantage of the bare skin, exploring and tantalizing me, causing me to moan into his mouth.

Edward has incredibly talented hands.

"Are you sure you won't tell me?" he purred, breaking our kiss so we could catch our breath.

"I dunno, I'm rather enjoying your attempts to get it out of me," I reached up to twine my arms around his neck. "I like it, now that you're finally kissing me."

Edward's eyes darkened at that, and he bent down again.

"You have no idea how much I like it too," he told me, before claiming my mouth again.

He didn't manage to find out what had happened that morning, but we both certainly enjoyed his attempts to.

-*-

"Pull over, pull over!"

I felt Edward start under my hands as I squealed loudly into his ear, but he signalled and pulled into the parking lot I was pointing at.

"What are we doing here, Bella?" Edward asked sceptically, looking around at the buildings in the lot we were in.

"It said on the sign that there's a ten thousand foot long slide you can ride down," I replied. "You take a gondola up, then ride down in the slide. I want to try it!"

I knew I was acting like a little kid at Disney World, but I couldn't help it. Call me a geek, but I had always wanted to visit the Black Hills. Now that I was here, I wanted to do everything.

"A slide," Edward shook his head, but smiled and wrapped a warm arm around my waist. "Well, if you want to ride a slide, then a slide we'll ride."

We went to the ticket office, where I tried to pay for my own gondola and slide tickets. Edward, however, had other plans.

"Double that order, please," he said to the girl at the counter. She smiled seductively at Edward, which I felt was rather rude considering that he had his arms wrapped around _my_ waist, and was nuzzling _my_ neck.

"Your total comes to fifty-two dollars and seventy-two cents. Is there anything else I can get you?" the girl purred, fluttering her eyes at Edward.

"That's all," Edward replied, sliding his Visa to the girl even as I was digging the money out of my purse.

"I was going to get that," I argued.

"Bella, please let me. I don't have anything better to do with that money. Let me spoil you."

"You could use it to sponsor an entire third world country, or to buy some shiny stuff for the bike, or, here's an idea, _use it to pay your college tuition_," I replied dryly.

Edward shrugged and gave a non-committal shrug and I wondered if any of my words of encouragement about school had gotten through the boy's overly thick skull.

I shook my head to clear it of such thoughts, and grasped Edward's hand in my own. I wasn't done on the subject, but I'd leave it for now. I was finally seeing a dream (no matter how dorky) of mine fulfilled, and I didn't feel like ruining it by fighting.

"C'mon, then rich boy. Let's catch our gondola. I bet the view from up top is beautiful."

"So is the one from down here," Edward replied, brushing my hair from my face. It was completely cheesy, and so cliché that it should almost be illegal, but Edward managed to say the words so earnestly that I couldn't help but blush and give him a pleased smile.

"You're a smooth talker, Edward Cullen," I leaned myself against him, and went up on my tippy toes to brush my lips against his briefly, before quickly pulling away. "Now, about that gondola."

Edward laced his fingers through mine and pulled me flush against him once more.

"If I'm a smooth talker, then you, Miss Swan, are a tease," he bent down, and there was nothing brief about the kiss he gave me. It took my breath away, and left me feeling dazed when we finally separated.

"Wow," I licked my lips. "If that's the response I'll get, then remind me to tease you more often."

Edward chuckled and squeezed my hand, pulling me towards the gondola that had just arrived.

"After you, madam," he said, putting on a terrible fake accent that made me snort. The loud sound caused me to blush what had to be around seven different shades of red and cover my face with my hands. Edward continued to chuckle, and I'm pretty sure I heard the gondola operator give his own laugh at the sound.

"That was elegant," I groaned, wishing I could fall through the floor and disappear. Snorting while laughing had been an embarrassing trait of mine as a child- a trait that hadn't reared it's humiliating head in three years. I was passed it, damn it!

"Oh, c'mon Bella. Let's see that beautiful face of yours," Edward tugged me so that I was in his lap and gently pried my hands from my face. "There we go," he kissed me on the tip of my nose. "I thought it was cute."

I looked at him dryly.

"I already know you're charming, and I've already agreed to go out with you. You don't need to lie, anymore, Edward. The fact that I let you get my bra off me says that I'm willing to keep you around for a while. Go ahead and laugh."

"Okay, so it was a little funny," Edward grinned his crooked grin, and the soft look that I now recognized as something close to adoration came into his eyes. "But still cute. Most things you do are cute, I don't think you can help it," he leaned down and pressed his mouth against mine. "And I really did like getting you out of your bra. Think we can do it again some time?"

I laughed (without snorting this time) and smacked his chest before leaning into it and enjoying the rest of the gondola ride.

-*-

"Okay… so you push this ahead to speed up, and pull it back to slow down, right?"

"That's right, miss."

"Okay, that doesn't seem too hard."

Edward and I had reached the top of the mountain and admired the view through the pay-a-quarter binoculars and enjoyed a bottle of iced tea while admiring the view. It had been neat to see Mount Rushmore through the binoculars, but it hadn't taken long for my desire to see it up close to rise up and make me decide it was time to go.

Which led us to now… and our preparation to ride down the mountain on the slide.

On scooter type contraptions.

Down ten thousand feet.

What had seemed like a swell idea at the time now seemed rather terrifying.

"Come on Bella," Edward was waiting impatiently next to the slide, looking like a little kid on Christmas morning. He may have thought it seemed silly when we first got here, but now that he had discovered that he got to control how fast he went he was excited.

And this is my boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.

"I'm just making sure I understand how this works," I said to Edward before turning back to the "slid controller" as I had dubbed the young man who was in charge of keeping the slides running smoothly. "So, just to be sure, I push this forward to-"

"Oh, for God's sake," Edward rolled his eyes and gently pushed me to the slide. "You were the one who decided we had to stop here. You know how it works, now hop on in."

"Erm… that's the fast slide," the slide controller warned me and I growled at Edward and prepared to enter the slide. His words made me hop down immediately and motion for Edward, who was already positioned in the other chute, to get out.

"You're the speed demon, so you go in the fast one," I jabbed my thumb at the other slide.

Edward rolled his eyes again, but got out and traded chutes with me.

"And stop rolling your eyes at me!"

We both got into position once more, and, after I took a deep breath, took off.

Well… Edward took off. I rolled forward slowly, almost coming to a complete stop more than once because I felt I was picking up too much speed.

"Hurry up, Grandma!" Edward called back to me from where he had stopped several feet ahead.

"Slow and steady wins the race, Eddie!" I called back, knowing, thanks to the Forks High grapevine, that he hated that name.

"You'll pay for that when you reach the bottom!" he called back up to me.

"Oh, get a move on Speed Racer. I'll see you when I see you."

With a laugh, Edward shot off once more, obviously enjoying the speed. I was enjoying my slower pace, however, and chose not to pick up it up. A full four minutes after Edward had reached the bottom I joined him.

"And here she is, the winner of the Granny Olympics! And how does it feel to win this great honor?" Edward asked me, pretending to hold a microphone before my face, I smiled at the girl who took my scooter before addressing him.

"It feels great, Edward. Almost as great as the real hot shower I plan on taking when I get back to the motel," at the spark of interest that flared in Edward's eyes, I added. "Alone."

The spark died and he pouted.

"That's no fun."

I shrugged and grinned, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"If you're real good at Mount Rushmore, maybe I'll let you make out with me before that shower."

"And after?" Edward curled a lock of my hair around his fingers and pretended to be absorbed in it, but I could see that his eyes were on me and not the hair.

"That'll depend on how good you are."

"Hmmm… and if I want to be bad?" Edward leaned down and caught my bottom lip between his teeth, sucking on it teasingly and I felt myself gulp involuntarily. This was flirty, sexy Edward. Flirty, sexy Edward was very dangerous to my peace of mind.

His mouth slanted over mine, and all thoughts of anything beyond that once moment ran from my head screaming. There was only me, Edward, and the wonderful, wonderful things he did with his tongue.

"So?" he asked when we broke apart.

"So what?" I asked breathlessly and he grinned.

"What if I want to be bad?"

"Well… bad is all a matter of opinion, isn't it? I happen to think bad _is_ good under certain… conditions," I grasped the back of his head and pulled his mouth back to mine. This time it was him who was left breathless at the end.

"Bad is good," he agreed, nodding vigorously and spinning me so that my back was against the wall of the gondola operator's hut. "Do you feel like being bad?"

I opened my mouth to answer when a loud cough interrupted us. We both turned to look at the family of five that stood next to us. There mother was frowning at us disapprovingly, the dead was grinning at Edward behind her back and giving him thumbs up, while the children were watching us curiously.

"There are children here!" the mother sounded scandalized.

"Mommy," said the smallest child who looked about four. "Where do babies come from?"

Edward and I didn't stick around to see how she answered that particular bombshell, looking at one another with wide eyes, we ran out to the parking lot. I thought the mother might chase after us and beat us with her purse, but we managed to make it safely to the bike and out onto the highway without being attacked by any irate parents.

"You know Bella," Edward called over his shoulder as we zoomed towards Mount Rushmore. "I think you've become a bad influence for me. I used to be such a nice boy."

I couldn't help it, his words made me laugh all the way to Mount Rushmore.

_**A/N2: So, musical inspiration here includes "Stop the World" sung by Demi Lovato and "All Over Me" by Default (awesome song, I'd suggest looking it up). If anyone has any songs that remind them of this story, be sure to let me know, even if it doesn't make my inspiration playlist, I still love being introduced to new music. One reviewer suggested "Vienna" by Billy Joel which is now one of my most played songs on my ipod.**_

_**I'm posting a poll on my profile page that has to do with this story and a possible future chapter. Please go there and vote on it, because I really want to know my reader's opinion.**_

_**Now, for the reviewer's bribe: if you review this chapter, you get to read all about Edward's first day at Fork's high school, which means you get to read about the first time he saw the lovely Bella Swan. Have a great weekend all, and I'll get to writing both the extra and the next chapter.**_

_**P.S. The slide included in this chapter is real- I rode down it and it was soooo much fun… even if I was a grandma like Bella as far as speed goes.**_


	15. Running With The Devil

_**A/N: Well, here I am back with chapter fifteen. Before we get to the good stuff, I'd like to take a second to mention MsKathy's Haiti relief compilation. It's a compilation of stories by over two hundred authors (some Twilight stories, some original) that you can receive if you donate five dollars or more to a Haiti Relief Program of their own. I made a contribution as have many other amazing authors, and you can still get the compilation until the 31**__**st**__**. So head over to http :/ /mskathyff (dot) blogspot (dot) com / it's a great cause and over $70 000 has already been raised for it.**_

**Fifteen. Running With The Devil**

**EPOV**

I had been to Mount Rushmore before. Carlisle was a firm believer in experiencing the history of your own country as well as that of others. I had told Bella before that it was nothing special, but I was wrong.

Experiencing it with Bella, seeing it through her eyes, that made it special.

"That was so cool," she enthused afterwards as we entered our motel room in Rapid City. "Especially the show where it all lit up and they talked about each President's history," she turned to me and hugged me tightly, her arm around my neck so that our body's were pressed as tightly together as possible without hurting her other arm. "Thank-you Edward. For the whole day. It was wonderful."

I wrapped my arms around her waist and murmured what I think was an acknowledgement of her thanks. My mind was distracted by the feeling of her against me. It was a feeling I didn't think I would ever get used to.

I noticed a change in the atmosphere of the room as I held her tightly. The air became charged, and it felt as if little frissons of electricity were passing through my body.

"So… the lubricant… what exactly is that supposed to be used for?" Bella asked softly, her arm leaving my neck so that she could run her hand down my chest. I could almost feel myself turning to putty in that hand as it stroked me.

"Uh… the girl…" I closed my eyes and almost purred like a cat at the continued stroking. "The girl at the pharmacy said that it could be helpful for… uh… the first time…"

Bella's stroking stalled and I felt myself blush. I opened my eyes to look down at her. Her eyes were averted from mine, her own fierce blush staining her cheeks.

"Oh… well…" She cleared her throat and pulled away to go and straighten an imaginary crease on the closest bed. "Well. This is incredibly awkward."  
"Just a little," I agreed dryly.

"You know what… I'm going to go shower... and then we can forget that this conversation ever happened," she nodded at me, and, without waiting for a reply, grabbed her towel and pyjamas and entered the bathroom.

This left me alone with my thoughts, which was not something that I wanted at the moment. I had managed to put on a happy face and act normal when I had been with Bella- she made it incredibly easy to do, possibly because she herself was so incredible. Now that I didn't have her to distract me, I was left with the thoughts that had plagued me since we left Charlie behind.

I knew that Bella was way, way too good for me, but that fact had really hit me when she had announced her acceptance into _Cornell _in the fall. Bella was going to a damn Ivy League school, and I was…

I was going to be hanging around Forks, still living with my parents.

I groaned, burying my face in my hands. Carlisle had nagged me constantly to apply to college, but I had found it easy to ignore him. I wish now that I hadn't. Bella deserved someone that could offer her the world. Hell, even Mike Newton could offer her more than I could. I wondered exactly how long it would take Bella to realize that she was dating a total loser, and how much longer after that it would be before she dumped me like yesterday's garbage.

_Take what you can while you can_, I told myself. _This is the girl you've wanted since freshman year. You won't have this chance again._

All true... but how would I ever be able to let her go when the fall finally came?

-*-

"How far is it to Chicago from here?" Bella asked me when we stopped for lunch the next day. I hadn't slept well the night before. I was both plagued by dark thoughts about my doomed future with Bella and entranced by her as she slept. The mixture had resulted in me getting little more than five hours of sleep.

"Around twelve hours," I replied, stifling a yawn.

"Are you okay?" Bella surveyed me through her dark eyes solemnly even as she snatched a fry from my plate.

"Hey, eat your salad. If you wanted fries, you should have ordered them," I looked in distaste at the Caesar Salad she had ordered. "I don't get why you eat that. Don't you know that salad is what food eats?"

Bella rolled her eyes at my declaration.

"Thinking like that will only get you congestive heart failure," she replied. "Besides, you didn't answer my question."

"I'm fine, I just didn't sleep too well last night," I ran a hand through my hair.

"Oh… I hope it wasn't my fault," Bella's eyes went from exasperation to worry in less than five seconds, and I couldn't help but smile sadly at her caring nature. The thoughts of the night were still with me, and I felt that I didn't deserve her worry.

"You snored terribly, it kept me up all night," I teased, hoping to rid her of the worry.

Bella snorted and tossed a napkin at me.

"I don't snore, you liar. That's _not_ something Charlie would've kept from me," she quirked her head, a smile pulling at her lips. "You're sure you're okay?"

I felt irritation well up, but I pushed it back down. My insecurities were my own, and Bella didn't deserve to have them taken out on her. Instead, I pasted a smile on my lips and reached out to grasp her good hand.

"Really, Bella, I'm fine. I swear."

Bella didn't look completely convinced, but she nodded and we finished the meal in silence.

The good thing about using a motorcycle for transportation is that it's a great excuse for a lack of communication when you don't want to talk. I could get away with giving Bella one word answers to all of her questions because it was too distracting to yell over my shoulder while concentrating on the road.

It also meant that she couldn't see my face easily, which meant that I could brood all I needed on the bike, and she would never know.

Or so I thought.

"That's it!" she shouted after we had been on the road for an hour and a half. "Pull over!"

"What?" I was surprised at the order, my eyes glancing around for whatever attraction had caught her eye, but I couldn't see any. "Why?"

"Just do it. We need to talk."

I saw the approach to a field ahead of us, so I pulled into it, killing the bike's engine. Bella hopped off and began to pace in front of me.

"Okay, so I don't know what's up with you, but you've been brooding ever since last night," she said at last, coming to a halt and putting her hands on her hips, glaring at me darkly. "I'm not sure what happened between yesterday afternoon and then, but whatever it was you need to get it off your chest. I'm not spending the rest of this trip suffering whiplash from your mood swings."

I stared stubbornly ahead so that I didn't have to look her in the eye. She didn't _get_ it. She didn't understand that she was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and that I couldn't stand the thought of losing her when we returned to Forks.

And I would lose her. Maybe not immediately, but when summer ended I would lose her to Cornell and her ambitions, and I shouldn't be so damn upset about it, because I wanted her to succeed and do amazing things.

I just wished she could do those amazing things with me at her side.

"Edward," she cupped my face in her delicate hands and forced me to look at her. "What's wrong? We were happy yesterday, but then last night you just… shut down. Where did you go?"

I looked into her brown eyes that were looking at me so earnestly, and I couldn't answer her question. Even I didn't know exactly what had happened. It just hit me suddenly that I finally had her, and that epiphany was followed by the realization that I wasn't going to get to keep her.

And I really, really wanted to keep her.

So, I couldn't answer her question, but maybe I could show her.

I wrapped my hand into her hair, hair that hung wildly, mussed up from the wind and her helmet, and pulled her tightly against me. It was awkward with her cast, but I managed. The worry was still in her eyes, but lust was as well, and she didn't argue when I bent down and pressed my lips wildly to hers.

I poured all my desperation, my love, every emotion I was feeling into that kiss. It was hungry, and hard, and unlike every other kiss that we had ever had. Even the night we had nearly lost control, I had still tried to keep those kisses gentle. I wanted Bella to see the side of me that was confident and strong.

This kiss was pure desperation, and it showed the side of me that was damaged and uncertain, and so in love with her that it was almost pathetic. This was the side of me that got caught speeding recklessly down the highway to feel alive, the side of me that lit stop signs on fire because I was so sure that just showing a girl _me_ would never get her attention.

When we pulled away, we were both gasping for breath, but I couldn't stop touching her, so I pressed my lips to her throat, holding her tightly, my body begging to throw me a bone of some sort, to show me that she had some kind of feeling for me. To give me any kind of love, even if it was just a little.

"Edward," Bella gasped, tugging at my hair. "Edward, you have to stop. Edward, stop!"

I pulled away from her throat, but I didn't release her. I found that I couldn't.

"Edward, what is going on?" she asked. "What… I…"

"I love you," I said, interrupting her as she tried to find the words to describe what she wanted to say. "I don't know if I've ever actually told you, but I want you to know that. I love you, and I'm so damned afraid that I'm going to lose you that it's driving me insane."

Bella's eyes softened as she finally understood.

"It's about Cornell, isn't it?" she asked. "You're afraid that you're just the summer fling until I leave for school."

"Aren't I though?" I replied. And that's what I was really worried about- that it would turn out that Bella didn't care at all. That I was just the boy that she ran off with as one last rebellion before she went out and made her niche in the world.

"No," she replied, her tone definitive. "And the fact that you can even ask that not only hurts, but makes me wonder how you could possibly claim to love someone you know so little about. If I wanted a summer fling, I would have forgiven Mike and then just dumped him at the end of summer."

"Then what do you want from me?" I asked. I knew I sounded frustrated, but I couldn't keep the emotion out. "I'll always be that guy, Bella. The one who lives in Forks and never gets out. So tell me, what could someone like you, who has all the possibilities in the world ahead of her, want from me?"

"You still don't believe in yourself, do you?" Bella asked. "You look at yourself and you let the stigma of that small down dictate who you are. It took me less than hour to realize that you aren't that guy, Edward. You're not the trouble maker that the whole town of Forks sees, and you're not that guy who'll never get out. I believe in you, why can't you believe in yourself?"

"You're seeing what you want to see, not what's really there, Bella," I told her.

"And you're seeing what the world tells you to," she shook her head with something close to disgust and shoved the helmet back on her head. "Let's just go."

I wanted to tell her 'no,' and to make her listen to me. I didn't want to end this conversation at a stalemate like I did.

But that look in her eyes, that look that seemed like disgust? I couldn't stand to talk to her, seeing her looking at me like that. So I re-started the motorcycle and drove out onto the freeway again. Bella's arms were wrapped around my waist, and her body was pressed tightly to mine, but it felt like we were a million miles apart.

_**A/N2: So, once again remember to go and donate for the Haiti compilation. The title of this chapter and the song inspiration is "Running With the Devil" sung by Alexz Johnson. You should probably youtube it, because the song is amazing, and so is she. Plus, she's Canadian, so Canuck power!**_

_**I don't have an extra to offer you this chapter, but I do have a game to play, because I'm bored and this is what I do when I'm bored. I'm going to start giving you a song quote and the artist who sings the song, and if you can tell me what the song name is I'll send you a preview of the next chapter. So, for today, here is the song quote:**_

"Well that's the worst song I've ever heard, same old stuff just different words. The same old beat going boom-chika-boom, only the man in black can make that cool."

_**It's from Jo Hikk. Happy guessing!**_


	16. Where Does It Hurt

_**A/N: Guess what guys- you're getting two updates in one week! That's pretty impressive for me, but after last chapter this one came out surprisingly easy. I have an extra offer for reviewers at the bottom, as well as another song quote, so be sure to check it out. Hope you enjoy:**_

**Sixteen. Where Does It Hurt**

I stayed silent for the rest of the day, and so did he. I was afraid to talk, afraid that I would say the wrong thing and end up pushing him away.

Because I was _mad._

And I felt _guilty_.

I was mad because he had so little faith in himself and so little faith in me. I was mad that he thought he could be nothing more than a fling to me, that he had that little confidence in himself. I was mad that he couldn't see what I did.

And I was guilty because, at that moment, what he had really needed was for me to tell him that I loved him. And I hadn't bee able to. Ever since we had left Forks, it seemed like I had hardly had time to think. I had been so caught up in Edward, that I hadn't been able to really think about what would happen when the summer ended and I had to leave- because I wasn't going to give up Cornell. I had worked my ass off to get into that school.

I wouldn't be able to respect myself if I gave up Ivy League for a guy, even one as amazing as Edward.

So, I sat behind him for six hours as we made our way from Rapid City to Rochester, Minnesota. I was too afraid of what I might say to speak, and Edward didn't seem any more inclined to create small talk.

It was a long six hours.

"I'll understand if you want to go home," he said when we finally stopped for the night. We were at a Days Inn, still following my 'no five star hotels' rule.

"I'm not going home, Edward," I replied. "I still want this… I still… ugh!" I ran my hands through my hair, frustrated at my inability to speak to him when, up until now, it had come so easily to me.

"I'll get us a room."

I watched him walk away from me, and I cursed myself in a million ways as he walked. Before he had turned, I had seen his eyes and they had been filled with pain. A pain that _I_ had put there and didn't know how to erase.

The walk to the room was as silent as the ride to Rochester had been, and I was really frustrated. Where had everything gone so wrong? We had been having fun yesterday. It had been wonderful seeing Mount Rushmore, and riding down the slide, and I had basked in Edward's presence.

Then, today, everything seemed to just blow up in our faces.

How had I not realized that Edward was so insecure? Not just about us, but about himself? I should have known. We had spoken about this, when he had told me about his desire to become a doctor like Carlisle, but his disbelief in his abilities to do so. I had spoken my piece and thought that the topic was done, which had been incredibly naïve of me, even if we hadn't really _been_ anything at the time.

"I'm going to shower," Edward said, interrupting my musings.

"Oh… okay. I'm going to go and… explore," I replied.

Edward frowned at me.

"I'd rather you not go out on your own-" he began, but I interrupted.

"I'm just going to look around the hotel, maybe get some ice." I lifted the ice container from the desk, and I couldn't help but give him a bit of a smile because his concern was so incredibly sweet. "I'll be fine, Edward… but thanks for worrying."

"Bella…" He lifted his hand, as if to reach out and touch me, but in the end he pulled his fingers back, curling them into a fist and entering the washroom without another word.

I felt like I might cry, and I wondered what else exactly there was that Edward hadn't told me about his past. Because there had to be something there… something that had made him lose his faith in himself.

I was still contemplating that thought five minutes later as I filled the plastic container with ice. I had to pass through the lobby on my way back to the room and as I did, a stand of brochures caught my eye. There were several for tourist stops along the way to Chicago and other major cities, and I grabbed a few that looked interesting, but they weren't what really caught my eye.

"Can I help you with anything, miss?" the girl from behind the desk came to see if I needed assistance. She rolled her eyes when she saw what had caught my eye. "Oh, those. I don't get why they sent them with the rest. I mean, hello, we're a hotel- who wants to think about college when they're on vacation?"

I grinned to myself as I grabbed several of the college brochures, including the familiar one for Cornell and another for Ithaca Community College.

"Isn't it a little late to be applying for college?" the girl asked, eyeing the pamphlets with confusion. I grinned at her widely, and I'm pretty sure she thought I was crazy.

"It's never too late for the future," I replied, still grinning widely.

When I got back to the room, Edward was lying on one of the beds. His arms were behind his head and his eyes were closed. For a moment, I almost thought he was asleep, but then he spoke.

"I ordered a pizza when you were gone. I got Hawaiian… it should be here in about half an hour."

"I thought you didn't like pineapple," I replied, setting the ice and the pamphlets for tourist attractions down on the desk. Still holding the college pamphlets, I climbed onto the bed and settled in cross-legged next to him, clutching the pamphlets tightly.

"I can pick it off," Edward said, pulling me down so that I was sprawled on his chest. He smoothed my hair away from my face and just looked at me.

I felt myself melt a little over the fact that he'd order a pizza he didn't like just because I did. I couldn't stop myself from moving up and kissing him soundly on the lips. I meant to keep it quick, but he wrapped one hand into my hair and pulled me tightly into him, as if he were afraid I'd disappear if he let go. Finally, I had to push him away softly and moved back to sit cross-legged next to him again.

"We have to talk, Edward," I said softly. "I want to start with some new stops I'd like to make on this trip. Take a look at these."

I tossed the pamphlets onto his chest.

"Let me guess… a fairytale castle or a- Bella, what are you playing at?" His voice, which had at first been filled with wry humour, turned cold at the end. As he spoke, he had picked up one of the pamphlets and was staring at it with hard eyes.

"I understand that you don't believe in yourself, Edward. I'm not sure why because I can't see Dr. or Mrs. Cullen ever making you feel inadequate, but I get that you do. I hope that, eventually, you'll trust me enough to tell me why. Until then, though, I plan on believing in you enough for both of us," I looked directly into his eyes and picked up the Cornell brochure. "It's tough to get into Ivy League this late in the year," I stated, glancing through it.

"It's tough to get into Ivy League _ever_," Edward responded dryly.

"That doesn't mean you can't. You have a good GPA, it's not as if you're not academically acceptable," I replied. "You said you wanted to become a doctor-"

"I also said it would never happen for me," Edward cut me off mid-sentence. "I may be _academically _acceptable, but my grades aren't all that count. You say that my juvenile record won't matter, Bella, but it _will_. The truth always comes out, and I fucked up a lot even before Forks. Even worse than lighting a stop sign on fire."

I frowned in confusion.

"I thought you said you couldn't remember your life in Chicago, that you were too young when you left," I said.

It was his turn to look confused.

"I can't, Bella. My parents died when I was three. Chicago is just kind of blurs."

"Then… I'm confused. When did you get into all of this trouble?"

Edward sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"I don't really want to talk about it," he admitted.

I looked into his green, or at least I tried to. He refused to meet my gaze.

"Okay. I can wait until you trust me enough," I tipped his head up and pressed my lips to his, softly teasing his lips with mine until he began to kiss me back with a groan. By the time we broke apart, I was sprawled across him, the pamphlets wrinkling between us.

"You drive me insane," he said, grinning at me wryly. "And I love you for it."

I smiled sadly at him, still wishing I could say those words back to him.

"Give me time?" I asked.

"Take all you need," he replied. "I'm not saying it to make you say it back, Bella. I'm saying it because I want you to know, even if you can never say it back," he frowned down at the pamphlets and picked up one for the Ithaca Community College. "And I'm sorry, about earlier. I know you aren't using me as a fling… it's just… you're so much _better_ than I am, and I'm afraid of the day when you wake up and realize it."

I nuzzled my face into Edward's neck and kissed it, all the while wondering if that wasn't part of the reason why he wouldn't tell me about the supposed trouble-child he'd been. Was he afraid that things he'd done years ago would drive me away?

Not. Bloody. Likely.

But, like Edward would wait for my love, I would wait to hear about his past. Because that's what you did for the people you loved. You waited and you supported.

I may not love Edward yet, but I cared about him. He was steadily becoming the most important person in my life.

"There's an EMT program," I said, pulling back from his neck.

"What?" Edward asked, his voice sounded disorientated. Obviously my kisses had been distracting him.

"At Ithaca Community College, there's an EMT program. It's not medicine… but it might give you an idea if that's what you really want to do. Of course, you don't have to go to Ithaca. There are lots of other schools here…" I trailed off, digging through the pamphlets and fighting back the urge to bite my lip. I wanted Edward to want to go to the same city as me, but I wasn't going to force it down his throat.

"You're really set on me going to school, aren't you?" he asked sitting up so that the pamphlets fell into his lap.

"I'm not trying force you, Edward… if you don't want to go to school, then don't go. It's just… I don't think that it's a matter of not wanting to, it seems like it's a matter of feeling like you can't," I explained. "I want you to know that I believe in you, that I believe you can do anything, and I want to help you believe in yourself, as cheesy as that sounds." I gave into the urge and bit my lip. "I want you to look in the mirror and see what I see."

Edward's reply was cut off by a knocking at the door.

"That'll be the pizza," he said, getting up and grabbing his wallet. He opened the door and spoke to someone outside, then came back in, holding a pizza box and a two litre of coke. "Let's dig in."

"Our conversation isn't over," I said. "I want to visit these places along the way."

Edward set the food down and reached out to finger the corner of the Ithaca Community College pamphlet. There was longing in his eyes as he looked at it, and I knew I was right. He wanted to go to college; he just didn't think he was good enough.

"I'm not going to make any promises, Bella," he said at last. "But… we can stop and look around." He looked up at me and his eyes were as earnest as a child's. "We can… talk to people."

As I looked back at him, I felt my lips break out into a smile bright enough to put the Vegas strip to shame.

"I'm hungry. Let's dig into this pizza of yours."

We began to eat and the next several minutes were silent except for the sounds of us chewing.

"Bella," Edward began uncertainly.

"Hmmm?" I couldn't answer due to my overly full mouth, so I made the inquiring noise instead.

"Earlier, when we… fought, you looked at me… and…" he was having trouble articulating whatever it was he was trying to say, and finally blurted out quickly. "Are you disgusted with me?"

I nearly choked on my pizza and had to take a large gulp of coke to wash it down.

"What on earth made you think that?" I asked incredulously.

Edward played with a pizza crust on his napkin and sighed.

"There was a look in your eye when we were driving away… and it looked like disgust. I don't… I can't… I hate the thought that you might think less of me."

"I was not and have never been disgusted with you," I told him seriously. "I was mad this afternoon. I was mad at you for thinking so little of both of us, and I was mad at me for not handling the situation better… and I was a little… guilty. But never disgusted."

"Guilty?" it was Edward's turn to be incredulous. "Why were you guilty?"

"You told me you loved me, Edward, and I couldn't say anything back," I couldn't look him in the eye. "So, yes, guilty."

"I don't want you to say you love me unless you mean it," Edward replied. He cupped my face and turned my face up to his. "I don't deserve you and you're far too good for me, but you're way too good for any other guy in Forks, too, so I'm going to enjoy every second that you're with me."

"I don't agree about me not being good enough," I replied. "You're gorgeous, and I'm pretty on a good day. You're kind, and smart, and have a huge capacity for love that I can't quite match. But I figure that if you really cared about that, you wouldn't have asked me to hop on your motorcycle."

"Are you saying you don't feel like you're good enough for _me_?" Edward's voice was once again incredulous. I laughed, and realized that there was a time not so very long ago that I would have felt much like Edward did- inadequate and not good enough for him. But I couldn't feel like that with the way he looked at me, because that look left no doubt as to exactly how much I mattered to him.

Plus, I felt that only one of us could have major self-esteem issues, and right now that was him.

"No," I replied to his question. "Oh, I would've, except that, now that I know how you feel, it's so completely obvious that it's almost as if you're wearing your heart on your sleeve. No one could feel inadequate with how loved you make me feel. Neither of us are perfect… but I'm thinking that maybe we're perfect for each other."

"Perfect for each other," he gave me a crooked grin. "I kind of like that."

He picked up the pizza box and our napkins and placed them on the floor, then crawled across the bed and pushed me down so that he was over top of me, his arms on either side of my head and his legs straddling my hips.

"Now, all of this talking is kind of hurting my masculinity, so now I need to do something to build it back up."

I laughed until his lips cut me off. I kissed him for a while, then broke away.

"Promise me we'll visit these schools?" I asked him.

He looked at the brochures that were spread out all over.

"You really think I can do it?" he asked me. "Become an EMT, or a doctor, or whatever?"

"I think you can do whatever you want, Edward Cullen… except maybe take over the world. I'm not sure if you have that ability. If you were to let me help you, though…" I trailed off, and took my turn to cut him off mid-laugh.

I knew that there were still issues that we needed to talk about. There was still a lot of his past that was a complete mystery to me, and I knew that he still had self-esteem issues. Eventually he would tell me about what had caused them, and I knew I'd have to be strong and stand by him when he did.

But, as I lay there making out with my boyfriend and letting him feel me up, I was pretty sure that we would get passed all of that, because he was worth fighting for. I was pretty sure that the feelings I felt for Edward were the beginning of those once in a lifetime types of loves, and I wasn't going to let that go.

We would face his past together, and if any of demons showed up, then we would face those too. Together.

_**A/N2: Next chapter they're back on the road and will be making another tourist stop… either at a Fairy Tale Castle or a zoo of some sort (either of which will be entirely fictional), so let me know which you'd prefer to see. Musical inspiration comes once again from Alexz Johnson, this time with her song "Where Does It Hurt." Seriously, you should youtube her, because her music is amazing.**_

_**I have another extra offer for reviewers this chapter- it's a Carlisle POV of when he realized that Edward had a thing for Bella. For those who don't remember, he talked about it briefly with Esme back in the chapter **_**"To Those I've Left Behind"**_**. I'm also continuing with the song quote game. Good job to everyone who got last chapter's. The song was **_**"My Kind of Radio"**_** And here is the quote for this chapter:**_

"Gonna stop when the last drop of gas turns to vapour, gonna ride till I can't even seem to remember who I was when I left and it don't even matter."

_**It's sung by Jan Arden, so happy guessing!**_


	17. Risk

_**A/N: So, here is chapter seventeen. Before it starts, I've been noticing a lot of traffic to this story lately, so I was wondering how people had heard of it. Did you just happen to find it, or did someone suggest it? I'd like to know!**_

_**This chapter is very long for me (over 7000) words. It also earns the story it's 'M' rating, so be forewarned. It has a bit of loving, some frustrated Edward trying to get some at the zoo, and a new understanding reached between our love birds. I really enjoyed writing it, so I hope you enjoy reading it:**_

**Seventeen. Risk**

I was awoken by Edward kissing my neck. It was a wonderful feeling, and I allowed myself to moan and glory in the sensation.

"That's a wonderful way to wake up," I murmured as Edward lifted his head to look me in the eyes.

"Is it?" There was a sparkle in his eye that I had missed for the past day. It was that sparkle that said he was enjoying this, he was enjoying being with me, and having me all to himself. "I'll have to remember that."

I wrapped my arm around his neck, and pulled him down into a kiss. His mouth was soft against mine, and I gave myself up to the sensations, opening my lips to him when his tongue grazed against them. I ran my hand up into his hair, lacing my fingers into his bronze locks. His hands grazed up my sides until they came to my butt, which he grasped to pull me closer to him.

Normally such an action would be a turn on (like most things Edward did), but in this case it caused my injured wrist to be pressed hard into both our ribs. The pain of the hard cast caused us to break apart, both of us swearing. We rolled to our backs, staring up at the roof side by side.

"When can I get this thing off?" I asked. "Because, well… it's kind of a mood killer."

"Not for around three more weeks." Edward rolled so that he could rest on his elbow and look down at me. His hair was even messier than usual from my fingers, he was nicely flushed, and still dressed in just his pajama pants. I found myself wishing I had a camera- women everywhere would pay good money for the sight I was seeing.

"What?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow at me at running his own hand through his hair. I grinned at the sight. Back in Forks, I had always thought that action was just something he did to look cool (much like Mike had), but now I had come to realize that it was something he did when he was nervous.

"Does my staring at you make you nervous?" I asked, my voice coming out in a surprisingly low purr.

"No… why would you ask?" The hand came up to his hair again, but I sat up and grasped it before it could touch the locks and replaced it with my own.

"You run your hand through your hair when you're nervous," I explained, stroking my fingers through the hair above his ear. It was surprisingly soft and thick.

"I've never noticed," he admitted. He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand. "That feels surprisingly good."

I grinned, delighted at this new way of touching him.

"If I keep it up will you start to purr?" I asked, manoeuvring our positions so that I could sit straddling his lap and continue to stroke his hair. Edward leaned back against the wall comfortably and closed his eyes again, enjoying my ministrations.

"Keep doing it and we'll see," he responded. He looked so cute sitting there with his eyes closed and looking as if he didn't have a care in the world and was perfectly comfortable, even though I knew that had to be a ruse because no man could be comfortable with what I felt growing against me.

In that moment, I was so completely overwhelmed by a wave of warmth and adoration that I just had to lean forward and press my lips against him and move my hand so that it was cupping the back of his head so I could press our lips more firmly together. One of his hands came up to grasp my waist, while the other reached up to grasp my wrist and use it to gently pull my hand from his hair. We looked into each other's eyes, and his were dark as he pulled my hand up to press a hot kiss into my palm. Still meeting my eyes, he grazed kissed down to my wrist, where he stopped to nibble for a moment, then he kissed his way back up my hand until his lips had touched each of my fingers.

By the time he had finished, not only was he fully aroused against me, but I was feeling remarkably warm, and I knew my face was flushed with heat. He released my hand moved his own up to wrap in my hair. His lips grazed against my neck, and he kissed, licked, and nibbled his way up to my ear.

"Tell me to stop," he breathed, his breath hot against my ear. "And I will."

I gulped, then moaned when he took my ear lobe carefully between his teeth.

I knew that if we continued, this would only end in one way.

And I suddenly didn't care.

There were people who would say that it was too soon. It had only been six days, they would say.

Yet I had spent nearly every moment of those six days with the man who was setting my body on fire. How many girls felt that the third date was the date on which to "give it up?" Well, I had had six days of being far closer and more intimate with Edward. There were still questions he needed to answer, but they wouldn't change his essentials, and the essentials were what I was falling in love with.

"Don't stop," I whispered. "For God's sake, don't stop."

Pausing in his kisses to my throat, Edward pulled back to look me squarely in the eyes. I looked back evenly, letting him know that I knew what I was saying. I wanted him like I had never wanted anyone before, but I wasn't so overcome that I wasn't aware of what I was asking. Seeing that in my eyes, his hands went to the bottom of my shirt, and he peeled it over my head, leaving me naked from the waist up. His eyes darkened further when he laid his eyes on my bare breasts, and he cupped them in his hands, squeezing them softly and drawing a moan from me.

"So sensitive," he murmured, grazing my nipples with his thumbs. "And so beautiful."

His soft, careful touches were causing me exquisite pain, but I didn't want soft and careful right now. I wanted him to feel the burn of fire like I did.

"Kiss me," I told him, wrapping my hand in his hair once more, but this time my grip was tighter- not enough to hurt, but enough to tug a little. I'm not sure what Edward saw when he looked into my eyes, but whatever it was, was enough to cause him to flip me onto my back, careful of my wrist, so that he could claim my lips in a hard kiss.

That was what I wanted, and I kissed him back just as hard. His mouth wasn't soft this time, but instead hard and unyielding and I revelled in it.

"I wanted to go soft," he panted out, between our kisses, and I laughed breathlessly, tugging at his pajama pants.

"I don't think either of us are in any condition for soft," I pointed out, growling with frustration at his pants. He went up on his knees, shoving both his pants and his boxers down to his knees, where he managed to kick them the rest of the way down until they fell to the floor.

My first sight of Edward fully naked was… impressive. Now, I may have been a virgin, but I wasn't a total innocent, and Jessica, Angela, and I had had a few rather illuminating afternoons when we'd managed to find the porn collection of Jessica's older brother. I hadn't expected Edward to be the size of the men in those videos, and he wasn't, but he was still surprisingly impressive.

And I found myself at a lost.

"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked, looking down at me. I was too busy staring at Edward Jr. to see what his expression was.

"Uh… yeah… it's just…" I reached out to his head, where there was a small drop of moisture beading. He twitched when I touched him and I quickly snatched my hand back. "Uh… what do I do?"

I looked up at Edward to see that his eyes were closed and his Adam's Apple was bobbing furiously. He looked almost pained.

"God Bella," he moaned. "do you realize what hearing you ask me that sort of stuff does?"

I looked down at his penis, which seemed to get even harder as I looked at it.

"I think I guess," I squeaked.

"Just… touch me," he breathed.

I reached out and carefully stroked him, eliciting a moan. His hand came to mine, and he wrapped my hand around his length and showed me the motion he liked best.

"Like this?" I asked, continuing the motion once he'd released my hand.

"Yeah, just like… God that feels good!" he threw his head back and I felt my confidence grow. _I_ made him feel like that. My inner vixen grinned in victory.

I bit my lip as I continued to stroke him. I knew about blow jobs. Not only were they one of Jessica's favourite topics of conversation, but they had also been featured on her older brother's videos (a lot). I had just never wanted to give somebody one, even though Mike had tried to talk me into on several occasions.

Now, though… I leaned forward and cautiously licked Edward's tip.

He yelled.

"That got quite the reaction," I murmured. "I wonder what this would do…"

I enclosed the whole head in my mouth and gently sucked. Edward's hand wrapped itself tightly in my head. I cautiously took more of him into my mouth. It was a little awkward, and the pre-cum didn't taste all that great, but Edward seemed to be enjoying it. I couldn't get all of him into my mouth, so I continued the stroking motion he had showed me on his base.

"Shit, Bella," he quickly removed me from his erection, and went down onto all fours over top of me.

"Was I doing something wrong?" I asked, worried. I could have sworn the noises he was making were good, but I was discovering that I was woefully ignorant in this department.

"No, you were fine. That's not right, you were wonderful, perfect," Edward's eyes were closed as if in pain again. "But if you had kept it up, I wouldn't have lasted."

I felt my mouth open in an 'oh.'

He opened his eyes again, and looked into mine.

"You have no idea what you do to me," he murmured. "No idea of the effect you have on me," he reached out with one hand and stroked my cheek. He bent down and gave me another one of those hard, demanding kisses. As we kissed, one of his hands moved to my breasts, teasing each nipple into a hard peak before moving down to my pajama bottoms and playing with the waist of them. He pulled away from me and moved both hands to the waist band of the pants.

"Lift your hips, love," he said. I lifted them, and he pulled both them and my panties off, and tossed them to the floor with his own.

I blushed a bit, suddenly wishing I had taken the time to groom myself a bit better down there. Jessica always dragged Angela and I with her to get Brazilians, but it had been a while, and I suddenly realized that it was probably a little messy.

Edward didn't seem to care.

"You're wet for me," he groaned, using two fingers to part my folds and stroke me. My hips bucked against his hand at the sensation. I wasn't exactly a prude, I had obviously taken care of my own needs in the past, but that was nothing compared to the feeling of Edward stroking me.

"Oh God," I moaned breathily. The sound did something to Edward, because with a moan of his own, he bent down to kiss me in a frenzy, his fingers keeping busy down below. By the time he broke away, I was panting and writhing against his fingers in a frenzy of my own.

For a boy who had little experience, Edward had _very_ talented fingers, and I told him as much.

"I play the piano," he replied, his lips moving down my neck, to my collar bone, and finally over my breasts. "The practice makes them nimble."

My response was cut off when he took one of my nipples deep into his mouth. My back arched off the bed, and I shouted out at the combined sensation of his fingers and his mouth. I clawed at his back, mindless to the fact that it would leave marks.

"That's enough foreplay," I gasped, yanking at his hair to pull him up. "The stuff that comes next. We need to get to that!"

"Condoms," Edward left the bed to get the box. "Where did I put the fucking condoms?"

I sat up.

"You're kidding me right?" my eyes looked wildly around the room. "We have them, right? We didn't forget them?" I hopped off the bed to help him look.

We had torn apart his bag, but in the end we found the pharmacy bag in the bottom. We both breathed a sigh of relief, and looked at each other over his bag in silence for a moment.

"Bed," he said at last, grabbing me around the waist to sling me over his shoulder. I giggled at his excitement, but the giggle turned into a moan when he laid me on the bed and kissed me deeply.

"Hurry," I told him, and he fumbled to get the box open, cursing when the cardboard refused to open. In the end he tore the box in half, foil packages scattering across the bed.

"Ignore them," I said when I thought he might try to gather them up. "Get _in_ me already."

He fumbled with the wrapper at first, causing me to curse. _I_ was supposed to be the clumsy one, not Edward. Finally he managed to open the wrapper and get the condom on.

You know how the first time is described in books? All the fireworks, and perfect unity, and all around wonderfulness?

Yeah, real life is nothing like the books.

"Fuck!" I swore when he thrust into me, tearing my hymen. It wasn't as painful as some girls made it out to be, but it still stung.

"Are you okay?" Edward looked down at me, his eyes alight with worry as well as lust.

And while I realized that this wasn't going to be like the books in that moment, I also realized that it didn't matter. It didn't matter if I didn't get fireworks and wonderfulness. What mattered was that I was with Edward, and _he_ was wonderful, so I didn't need the fireworks this first time.

There would be lots of times for fireworks.

"I love you," I told him, pressing my hand against his face. And it was true. I realized I had probably loved him since that day that the motorcycle ran out of gas and we met Ms. Maddy. I had been worried about saying it too soon, but this wasn't too soon.

This felt perfect.

"Bella-" he began, but I pressed my finger to his lips.

"Don't say anything. I love you, and you love me, and right now I think you should start moving, because if this is all there is to sex, then Hollywood and porn have a lot to answer for."

Edward gazed at me in silence for a moment, then his face broke out into the biggest smile I've ever seen.

Then he started to move.

It stung at first, and I didn't come the first time. It was starting to feel good when Edward found his release. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was disappointed, but I wasn't.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled into my neck. "That's kind of embarrassing."

"No it's not," I responded. "Despite what popular culture would have us believe, I don't think women often find their release the first time around," I ran my fingers through Edward's hair, and decided that was my new favourite past time.

It had gotten us here after all.

"That's extremely unromantic, Bella," Edward opened his eyes and grinned at me. His expression faded to seriousness. "Did you mean it? When you said you loved me?"

"Yes," I responded immediately.

"You said you couldn't say it yesterday," his fingers traced patterns over my thighs and stomach. "What happened since then?"

"Yesterday we were fighting, but today it felt right," I pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I loved you yesterday, Edward, but I just wasn't ready to say it. Today I was. We still have a long way to go. You still don't completely trust me, but you will."

"I trust you… I just… I'm worried if you know more, you won't want me anymore," he brushed his fingers down my cheek. "The closer we get to Chicago, the more worried I get."

"What does Chicago mean for you?" I asked, cupping his face and looking into his bright eyes. "You say you can't remember living there, yet the closer we get, the more nervous you become."

He turned his face and pressed a warm kiss into the center of my palm.

"I'm not ready yet," he murmured against my skin. "Can we leave it alone for now?"

I wanted to push him and make him tell me what was casting this dark cloud over him. What could possibly be in Chicago that would make me stop loving him? But I wasn't a fool, and I could see that pushing him on this would just push him away.

Plus, I was feeling happy and energetic after our morning activities, and I really didn't want to lose the feeling to another fight.

"I can wait," I agreed, then grinned wickedly and looked at the tourism brochures that still sat on the desk, "but we have to go wherever I want today."

Edward pressed another kiss into my palm.

"As you wish."

-*-

"I still can't believe you chose the zoo," Edward shook his head as we stood in line at the Rochester Zoo. We had extended our room reservation until the next day so that we could spend the day at the zoo, my choice for the day.

"It was either this or a tour of the Mayo Clinic, and I didn't really feel like that." I wrinkled my nose. "I see hospital interiors enough through my ER visits… I don't need to see anymore due to tours."

Edward threw back his head and laughed at my words. He was happier today, more like the Edward from the beginning of our trip than the one of the past day. The fact that he was smiling and happy made me smile and feel happy.

We were two smiling, happy fools. After the drama of the previous day, it felt nice to be a fool for while.

"You do realize that this is just a disaster waiting to happen, don't you?" Edward asked as he paid for our tickets. I thought about arguing and trying to get my own, but then I decided that it would be smarter to pick my battles. I could be stubborn, but I also knew when to take a step back and give in graciously.

I'd just put the breath saved in this one endeavour to better use in a future argument… like one about why Chicago set off all sort of self-esteem issues in Edward that he hadn't seemed to have in Forks.

The boy who had spoken to me yesterday was a far cry from the one who had told me to _try_ even as he stole a kiss for me. I loved all the various layers of Edward, but I wanted to bring back the confidence he had shown when convincing me that running away with him was a good idea.

"And what makes you that?" I asked, accepting his hand and letting him pull me with him through the gates of the zoo.

"Look at our track record with animals on this trip, Bella," Edward replied dryly. "I've gotten kicked and chased by a calf, and you've been dry humped by a dog. Can you possibly see this ending well?"

I looked out across the zoo entrance, a pretty courtyard type area with cobbled paths that led towards the various exhibits, thinking of all the various animals that were caged within. When he put it the way he had, this didn't seem like such a great idea anymore.

Still… I had this really strong urge to see some giraffes.

"Oh, you're just being a spoil sport," I informed him, pulling him after me to the large black pole that had signs labelled for the exhibits and pointing in different direction. I stopped in front of it and released his hand so that I could use mine to rub my chin. "Hmmm… where should we start? If we go that way, we can see the large cats, but that way is the monkeys," I frowned at the signs. "Which way are the giraffes?"

"Giraffes?" Edward chuckled. "I should have known that the giraffes would be your favourite animal," he shook his head. "I say we go for the monkeys. Less chance of one of us getting eaten by them than by the large cats."

Edward was probably right. We seemed to find ourselves in the oddest situations, and a zoo held potential for several very odd situations. Still, I really wanted to see those giraffes, so I laughed his comment off and, holding his hand, led him towards the primate exhibits.

"Here we are." Edward halted us outside the first cage. "_Capuchins_… you know, I read that they make good pets."

I looked at the monkeys in the cage, and felt my brow furrow when I felt an odd sense of familiarity. I had seen one of these creatures somewhere before. They were cute, with light, almost white fur around their faces that faded into dark brown as it moved down their bodies. They looked to be about a foot from head to butt, with another foot of tail beyond that. I surveyed them closely, then grinned as I recognized why they looked so familiar.

"I'm calling that one Marcel," I stated proudly, pointing at the nearest Capuchin.

"Not that I'm adverse to naming the zoo animals, although it is a little weird, but may I ask why you're calling it Marcel?" Edward asked, looking at me as though he were a little worried about my mental health.

"Haven't you ever seen _Friends_?" I retorted, rolling my eyes at his lack of popular culture knowledge. "Marcel is the name of Ross' pet monkey and he looks just like them."

"Oh," Edward replied, looking back the cage. "I guess you're right. Huh… well, now I can stop bugging Carlisle every time we watch the show by asking what type of monkey he is."

"That's not nearly as bad as me. I would ask Renee if I could have one every time we watched the show from age of four until I moved to Forks. I even asked after he wasn't on the show anymore. It drove her crazy."

Edward laughed at that and smiled down at me. I smiled back and, just because I could, went up on my tip toes to press my lips against his. I meant for it to be a quick, chaste kiss, but Edward cradled the back of my neck and took control before I could pull away, deepening the kiss until we got the point where we had to pull away or risk going into 'R' rated territory.

Luckily for us, there were no families or small children around. There was only a pair of teenagers, obviously on a date, who were watching us with wide eyes.

"Dude! That was awesome," said the male. "How'd you get her to let you do that?"

"Don't even _think_ about it, Peter," the girl told him. "You're lucky I even agreed to come out with you today after that act you pulled with Maria last week."

"Uh… the Mountain Gorillas are in that direction," Edward pointed past the Capuchin cage. "What do you say we start making our way in that direction?"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," I agreed, nodding earnestly while watching the teens, who were still fighting, out of the corner of my eye. The situation felt oddly awkward, and I really wanted to get away.

"Hey, dude! Could you at least tell me where you found her? Maybe she has a sister?" I heard Peter yell from behind us.

Edward stopped mid-step, and the look on his face had me worried that he was going to turn around and end up getting arrested for assault. I tightened my grip on his hand, but he relaxed when a loud smack was heard from behind us. I looked over my shoulder to see the girl stalking away while Peter rubbed his cheek and glared after her. She had slapped him.

"You mentioned something about gorillas?" I asked, looking back at Edward.

"I really want to go punch him for his insinuations," he told me, his face serious. I hadn't felt particularly insulted by Peter's words. He was just another Mike, or another Tyler Crowley, and the best way to deal with them was to ignore them. I was touched, however, by Edward's desire to protect me and my… honour for lack of a better word. I had known that he was a good guy, but the fact that he would still want to defend me, even after he had gotten into my pants, just backed my beliefs up.

"He's a pig," I cupped Edward's cheeks in my hands and pulled his head down to kiss him softly. There was still the usual passion simmering just under the surface, but he kept his mouth gentle on mine this time, kissing me back tenderly. "He's a pig, and I won't let him ruin this day. I happen to be in a very good mood, so let's keep going so that we can see these gorillas… oooh! Do you think they have Baboons here? Rafiki was always my favourite of all the Disney characters."

Edward laughed at my enthusiasm and wrapped his arm tightly around my waist. I wrapped mine around his as well and we continued on, Peter forgotten… at least for the moment.

The next cage we came to were the marmosets. This cage did have several families milling about, so Edward and I didn't stick around very long. The last thing I wanted was to inspire another child to ask "where do babies come from."

"Now this is what I wanted to see," Edward grinned like a little boy on Christmas when we reached the next cage. He broke away from me so that he could saunter up to the bars. It was a large cage, which was expected considering that it contained the Mountain Gorillas. The large silver-backed male grunted and glared at Edward through the cage.

"I think it feels you're a threat," I commented, following Edward at a more sedate pace. I stopped several feet away and surveyed the gorillas with interest. They really were incredibly large animals. Edward, after looking around to be sure that we were alone at this exhibit, continued right over the fencing meant to keep the spectators back so that he could get right up to the cage. "The fence is there for a reason, Edward. Get out of there before you get us kicked out."

"Just a second, Bella. I want to take a closer look at this big guy."

The Gorilla moved up to the bars of the cage so he could glare and growl at Edward. Edward quirked his head and smirked.

"I do believe you're right about this guy, Bella. He _does_ think I'm a threat."

"Yeah, I know," I walked up to the fence and watched Edward anxiously. "Really, Edward, get away. What if he reaches through?"

"Honestly, Bella?" Edward raised an eyebrow at me. "The space in the cage is too small," he rapped one of the bars with his knuckle. "I'm not that worried about it reaching through.

The gorilla rammed the bars in front of Edward with a loud growl, causing Edward, who had been looking at me, to startle and stumble backwards, tripping over the fencing. I watched as he seemed to move in slow motion, tumbling head over heels over the fencing and landing with a groan on the safe side.

"Ouch," Edward said after a moment, looking up at me with a befuddled look on his face. Much like the look the little boy on Christmas morning would get if he opened a gift only to find a Barbie doll.

I couldn't help but giggle.

"That's what you get," I scolded him through my laughter. "I told you to get back on this side, but would you listen to me? No! You won't get any pity from me."

"Now, Bella, that's not very nice," Edward pulled himself to his feet and dusted himself off. "After you broke your wrist I was very nice. I even kissed you better."

I felt a blush rise in my cheeks at the reminder of that night. I suppose it was foolish that the memory caused such a reaction in me considering what we had done just that morning, but that didn't stop the blush.

"Hmph, you laughed at me the whole way back from the hospital," I replied.

"I still kissed it better," he began a slow stalking prowl towards me that caused me to hastily move backwards. The look in his eyes was dark and predatory- the lion after the lamb. It different from any other look I'd ever seen in his eyes. "Aren't you going to kiss me better, Bella?"

"I think you're perfectly fine," I replied. "If you're fine, there's no need for a kiss."

My retreat was stopped by a tree, part of the zoo decoration, at my back. Edward moved quickly, his arms coming up to brace his weight on either side of my head and his body pressing along the length of mine.

"Hmmm… that's a matter of opinion," he purred. "I, personally, feel that I would feel far better if you kissed me. No? That's okay, I'll just kiss you."

His lips pressed against mine, his tongue teasing my lips until I opened them to him so that he could claim my mouth fully. I wrapped my hands in his, growling angrily into his mouth when the cast hindered the movement of my left hand. I let that one drop uselessly to my side, tugging instead with just the one. One of his hands moved from the tree to wrap itself in my own hair while the other one moved down to lift one of my legs and wrap it around his waist. The new position allowed him to grind himself against me through our jeans, and the friction caused me to moan and tug his hair harder.

Once breathing became a necessity, we broke apart. I was panting, but Edward moved his mouth down to ravage my neck, licking, nipping, and sucking his way from my jaw bone down across my collar bone. His hand left my hair to move down and play with the hem of my shirt, pressing it up a few inches to give his fingers access to my mid-drift.

My breathing was slowly settling down when it caught in my throat- and not because Edward had reached a particularly sensitive spot on my neck (although he had).

It caught because I saw two security guards heading towards us.

"Shit!" I swore, dropping my leg from Edward's waist and releasing his the death grip my hand had in his hair.

"What?" asked Edward, looking up from my neck with a slightly dazed expression in his eyes. The looked died when he looked over his shoulder and saw the security guards. "Oh… well…" He grinned down at me. "Have you ever run from the law?"

"What? No!" I replied, but my answer didn't seem to matter. Edward had grasped my hand and began running down a path away from the primate exhibits and the security guards. I stumbled after him, wondering what the hell was going through his gorgeous head.

"Hey! Stop you kids!" shouted one of the guards. Edward ignored them with a wild laugh, scooping me up when I stumbled over yet another cobblestone.

"I'm getting the oddest sense of déjà vu," he informed me, grinning down.

"I think this illegal," I replied. "I'm almost certain this is illegal."

"It's only illegal if we get caught," Edward laughed.

We were attracting quite a bit of attention from the other zoo-goers, and I was vaguely surprised that no one had tried to stop us yet.

"They're going to tell the guards in exactly what direction we went," I pointed out, trying to be the voice of reason in this insane situation. The role never worked out real well for me, considering that all Edward had to do was smile right and touch me and reason disappeared.

"I know, but I want you to see the giraffes before we get kicked out," Edward replied.

Once again, reason disappeared as I went soft and my inner girl went all "how sweet" on me.

"That's incredibly sweet," I told him, focusing my attention on straightening the collar of his leather jacket. It was a difficult feat when he was holding me, but when I blushed I tended to avoid eye contact.

"I have my moments. I think we may have lost them for a while, so I'm going to put you down."

He gently set me on my feet, and I went up on my tip toes once again to press a kiss to his lips. He tried to deepen it again, but I pulled away.

"No," I wagged my finger in his face. "That's what got us into trouble in the first place. Until we're in private, we're keeping it strictly 'G,' am I clear?"

Edward sighed as if in defeat, and nodded his head. I didn't believe him for a second.

That lion-like look was still in his eyes, and I didn't trust it for a second. He seemed to be behaving for the moment, however, so I let him lead me down the path in the direction of what, I assumed, were the giraffes.

"There's a marsupial exhibit," he commented idly, as if commenting on the weather. "I'd kind of like to see it."

"Why?" I asked suspiciously, not liking the situation.

"I like kangaroos," he replied innocently. Something smelled funny about this situation, and it wasn't the giraffe dung.

Dung which I couldn't smell, because I had get to see any giraffes! Honestly, considering how tall they were, you'd think that they would be pretty visible from a distance.

Naïve little girl that I was, that didn't set off any warning bells, even though it should have. My boyfriend, as it turned out, had a bit of a deviously clever streak.

"Come on, it's just one little stop," Edward's eyes lit up in a look very reminiscent of the puppy dog look, minus the quivering lower lip.

Edward did a very good pseudo puppy dog look.

"Fine," I sighed, "but no funny business, Mister. I'll be watching you."

The kangaroos, which Edward claimed were the ones he really wanted to see, we housed inside a house-like structure that had access to a pen outside. At the moment, however, there were none in the pen.

"Ladies first," Edward opened the door for me, and motioned for me to lead the way in. If it had been anyone but Edward, I would have been suspicious, but Edward always held doors open for me. He claimed that Esme had scolded, lectured, and threatened him with a ruler until he learned that a gentleman always treated a lady right, and she expected him to be a gentleman.

I realized I should have been suspicious when, the second the door closed behind him, Edward pinned me against the wall next to it and began to attack my lips again.

"What's going on with you?" I panted out when I managed to break away from his kiss. Edward looked at me with a dead pan expression as though the answer were obvious.

"I'm a guy, Bella," he told me. "I can be polite, and I can treat you good, but at the end of the day, I'm still a guy, and a teenage one at that. I have also been in love with you for four years. Now, that's a lot of sexual frustration that I've put myself through. You unleashed a monster this morning."

He did look a little frustrated, and wonderfully rumpled. I bit my lip to hold back a grin at the cute picture he made and fought to get my thoughts in order. So he had four years of sexual frustration to make up for. That could be fun.

But not at the frigging zoo!

"Well, it's good to know that I've unleashed a monster, but I'm not having sex with you at the zoo. We agreed to keep in 'G,' remember?"

"But we're in private, now," Edward ran his lips across my neck, causing me to shiver. He was right… this _was_ rather private. "Doesn't than mean we get to up the rating?"

With his head bent to my neck, I had a clear view over his head. This view allowed me to see the wide, curious eyes of one of the kangaroos housed in the building.

It was a joey.

We were _so_ not doing this here.

"Yeah… that feels nice, Edward, but something is taken away from the experience when I'm staring at a kangaroo while you're attacking my neck. It's not nearly as enjoyable as it normally is."

I eased myself out of his hold and exited the building. I heard Edward mutter something, but what it was, and if it were addressed to me or the joey, I had no clue.

"I'll make you a deal," I told him, looking back at him. The expression on his face was awfully close to a pout. "Take me to the giraffes and get us out of here without being caught by security, and I'll let you do whatever you want to me back at the hotel."

"I thought you weren't going to trade sexual favours with me," he raised an eyebrow and smirked at me.

"That was back in Seattle. Besides, are you honestly complaining about this? Whatever. You. Want, Edward. Unless it goes against my morals… or human nature. And I'd rather not be doing any bed gymnastics at this point in time, so don't break out the Kama Sutra quite yet."

"That rather destroys the whole, 'whatever I want' part," Edward pointed out, grasping me around the waist and pulling me into his arms so he could kiss the tip of my nose. "But you've got a deal. Giraffes, and no security, and then you're mine until we're exhausted and can't move."

"I didn't say anything about exhaustion and not being able to move," I replied, but I was found myself curious about what he could do to me that would lead to exhaustion and immobility.

I found myself understanding why Edward had had such trouble fighting his sexual frustration. I growled under my breath, cursing him and his ability to get me all hot and bothered. Edward heard the growl and grinned at me.

"Shall we go look those giraffes."

He grasped my hand and led me… in the complete opposite direction we had been going before.

"I thought we were going to see the giraffes earlier," I said, clenching my teeth.

"We were, but we were taking the scenic route. I decided that it would be better if we took the quick way now."

"Should I be worried that you have an incredible talent for lying?" I asked him, and then cursed myself for taking my frustration out on him. Yes, he was the one who had caused it, but that didn't mean I could use him as whipping dog to take it out on. At least not when our relationship was so new and tenuous.

We had only been on the road together for six days.

Yet it seemed like so much longer.

"No," he informed me, turning around so he could cup my cheeks in his hands. "I will never lie to you about important things, Bella. This was meant to be a joke more than anything," he rested his forehead on mine. "You understand me so well that I forget that you've only really known me, for six days. I'm sorry if I hurt your faith in me."

"You didn't," I replied, running my fingers through his hair. "I'm just being a bit of a bitch. Edward, I love you. I trust you. Now, I want to see my giraffes."

We continued, but Edward was much more serious and reflective than he had been earlier. He was acting more like he had yesterday, and I cursed myself for speaking without thinking.

That was the thing about our relationship- he was so easy to speak to, that I didn't think when I spoke, and ended up saying things I shouldn't.

The giraffes were as beautiful as I had remembered. I loved them, and thought they were majestic despite their odd appearance. So many people didn't appreciate giraffes. They just saw tall, silly animals, and never tried to see the grace in them.

For animals that were all legs and necks, they were incredibly graceful.

"You're pulling away from me," Edward murmured from behind me as I gazed up at the giraffes. "Normally you're so open, but you're pulling away now."

I whirled around to look at him. I opened my mouth to argue, but then sighed and nodded.

"We're in such a… weird place in this relationship, Edward. We love each other, but we don't know each other… we don't know the little details. I don't know about your life before Forks, or what your favourite color is, or your favourite anything really, and you don't know that stuff about me, either."

"If you don't feel like you know me, how can you love me?" Edward asked stonily, looking at the giraffes to avoid looking at me.

"I know your essentials. I know you're kind, and sweet and caring. I know that you're smart, and that you have so much potential even if you don't think you do," I grasped Edward's hands and threaded our fingers together. "I'm in love with your essentials, Edward. Now we just need to fill in the little details."

Edward lifted our entwined hands to his lips and kissed my knuckles.

"I lived in group homes for six years after my parents died," he told me. "I'm not ready to go into details yet, but that's where I was before Carlisle and Esme. The foster system takes your identity, Bella, and you have to completely re-create yourself. Group homes are the worst. I didn't like who I created, so I'm still trying to make myself into something I do like."

I nestled my head against his shoulder, smiling softly over the fact that he was opening up.

"I always felt more like the parent than the child with Renee and Charlie," I told him. "I love my parents, but now I'm eighteen and I'm not entirely sure who I am, because I never really got the opportunity to explore, I was to busy keeping Renee in line, or feeding Charlie." I looked up into his eyes. "I'll help you figure out who Edward Cullen is, if you'll help me find Bella Swan."

"I love you," he said, and buried his face in my hair. "And I would love to help you find Bella Swan."

"Good… now, if I'm not mistaken, I see some security guards coming towards us. So, if you want to be able to collect on your prize, we'd best be going."

Edward laughed and pressed a kiss to my temple, then swooped me up in his arms once again, and we took off running, the security guards yelling behind us.

And I had never felt more free.

_**A/N2: So, some exciting stuff. RoseArcadia has made me a banner, blinkies, and a twilighted thread, which you can find at**_

_**http :// www (dot) twilighted (dot) net / forum / viewtopic (dot) php ? f=44&t=8371&start=0&st=0&sk=t&sd=a **_

_**Just take out the spaces and replace the (dot) with periods and all that. I will be posting previews for future chapters there, and will also answer any questions anyone has. So, thanks Rose. Thanks also to Kris, who also created a really neat banner for me, which you can see on the story at Twilighted. **_

_**Musical inspiration from this chapter came from Paul Brandt's "Risk" which is an amazing song (and was also my grad song). **_

_**There is no extra this chapter, but I do have a song quote if you want a preview to be PMed to you:**_

"Even in madness I know you still believe. Paint me on canvass so I become what you could never be."

_**It's from Shinedown.**_


	18. I Can Love You Like That

_**A/N: So, first thing's first. I want to thank my brand new beta RachelleMyBell for catching all my annoying little grammatical errors, and all around just making this chapter better. I would also like to thank everyone who has reviewed, and the person who recommended my story on the Twilight Enablers, which I just discovered. It's pretty neat. I love it when people whore out my story for me. I also feel so guilty doing it myself. Here is chapter:**_

**Eighteen. I Can Love You Like That**

**EPOV**

A bookstore.

Here I was, all hot and bothered and wanting to touch her more than anything in the world, and Bella wanted to go to the bookstore.

I tried to figure out what about today had made her think of books, but my mind came up empty.

We had managed to escape the zoo guards and slip into the gift shop. She was still giggling, and I was still riding the high that her love gave me. We had entered the gift shop wrapped in each other, unable to stop touching.

I never wanted to stop touching her.

By the time we had exited the gift store, she was sporting a light blue Rochester Zoo shirt, complete with giraffes on the front, and I was suffering through wearing a hate shaped like a gorilla that Bella had placed on me with a wicked grin and a giggle.

It hadn't even been a week and the girl had me wrapped around her capable little finger. Only for her would I wear the reminder of my earlier embarrassment.

Bella Swan not only made me want to be a better man, but she _made_ me a better man. She refused to sit back and let me waste my life away.

And I loved her all the more for it.

When I had first met Bella, it had been her innocence and her delicate beauty that had first drawn me to her. She was like a rose amongst the weeds like Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory. From the very first day I had met her, I'd wanted to hold her, and protect her, but she hardly looked twice at me.

So I had fallen into old habits in an attempt to gain her attention. Which didn't really work, and instead had the opposite effect I was looking for.

In the beginning she had smiled at me, had even said hello to me, until the stop sign incident, when she then acted as if I didn't exist. That is until last Sunday afternoon when she'd gotten on my motorcycle and let me take her away from Forks.

That was the second best day of my life, only behind the day that Carlisle and Esme had taken me home with them and shown me that the life I'd experienced in the group homes was _not_ normal.

"Edward? Are you okay?"

Bella's light voice brought me back to myself, and I smiled back at her, taking my eyes from the road for only a brief second before returning them.

"I'm fine, Bella. Better than fine even. I remember seeing a Barnes and Noble in the mall up ahead. Will that work for you?"

"That would be wonderful," Bella's arms tightened briefly around me. "Thank-you for agreeing to take me."

I almost snorted at that. I hadn't exactly been given much of a choice. The imp who held me knew exactly which of my buttons to push to get her way. In the zoo parking lot, she had smiled so innocently at me and had perched on the seat of my motorcycle, then grabbed the collar of my jacket and pulled me into her for a kiss that seared me clean down to the bones. It had been only after I was thoroughly under the spell of her mouth that she'd pulled away and, innocently as you please, asked me if we could find a bookstore.

I had been agreeing before I'd even really realized what she'd asked.

She held a siren's hold over me, and so I pulled into the mall parking lot so she could have her time in the book store.

"What do you like to read?" I asked her, holding the door of the store open so she could skip in ahead of me.

"A little bit of everything," Bella replied, her voice sounding distracted as she reverently picked a book off a nearby table and ran her finger along the spine reverently. I had a feeling that she was expressing her love for books in general with the motion, rather than any particular interest in the one she was holding.

I wasn't completely positive, but I felt quite certain that Bella's love of books did _not_ extend to Dr. Phil's self help series.

"I should probably warn you," she began, carefully setting the book back on the pile, "that I'm terrible company when I'm in a book store. I can get caught up for hours. Just let me know if you get sick of it, and we'll leave."

I wrapped my arm around her waist, and pulled her into my body so I could press a kiss against her grinning mouth. Ever since this morning, I had been unable to resist touching her for more than a moment. She was far too tempting, and I had no desire to resist her.

I broke away from her lips before we could be called out, once more, for too much PDA. Personally, I didn't mind it. I wanted the whole world and its dog to know that Bella Swan and I were in love, but I knew that it embarrassed Bella so I backed off.

"Go look at your books. I'm just going to browse until you're done. Take your time."

She gave me a huge, brilliant smile that left me feeling oddly dazzled. She stood up on her tip toes and kissed my cheek, then rushed off into the shelves, only stumbling once when she had to climb a set of three steps to reach the fiction section. I chuckled at that. I had always found her clumsiness to be oddly endearing, and I loved that it gave me the excuse to carry her on occasion… such as when we were fleeing angry zoo security.

I wandered into the shelves, glancing over the books there briefly. I liked to read, but not to the extent Bella did. I had often seen her with her nose in a book in any spare moment she managed to find. While she had immersed herself in the world of fiction, I had immersed _myself_ in the world of Bella, trying to discover everything I could about her without actually speaking to her.

I had been a chicken shit for the past four years. It was only a rare moment of courage, and a feeling of frustration with everything Forks, that had granted me the ability to speak to Bella last Sunday.

I shook my head as I thought about that. Last Sunday I had been pining for the girl of my dreams, regretting that I had never worked up the courage to go after her, and now, six days later, I was looking forward to returning to a hotel room with her.

Where, as per our agreement, she would be at my mercy for the night.

Thoughts of what I'd like to do to, and might I mention with, Bella ran through my head, causing me to swell, and creating a rather awkward situation in the middle of the bookstore.

"Hmmm… a little uncomfortable, are we?"

I gulped at the purring voice, and turned to see a woman wearing far too much make up standing in the opening to the aisle. If she was a day under forty, I would swear off sex with Bella.

Well, not really, but I was just that positive of her age.

Feeling incredibly uncomfortable, I grabbed the first book my hand touched and covered my groin with it. The entrance of the woman had done a number on my erection, but, as usual, thoughts of Bella danced just below the surface of my mind, and I knew that it could rear it's head once more if one of those thoughts broke free.

Eighteen years of celibacy meant that I was a hormone time bomb waiting to go off (quite literally) at any moment.

The woman didn't seem to sense my awkwardness. Instead her eyes landed on the book and lit up.

"Oooh… want me to teach you a thing or to, do we? I would loooove to," she seemed to think her grin was wicked and seductive, but it had nothing on Bella's. The only reaction I had to it was the desire to flee.

I looked down at the book and blanched. Of course I would grab the Kama Sutra. After all, the situation wasn't nearly awkward enough already.

The woman continued to prowl towards me, her eyes riveted to the book. I quickly pulled it up, away from my groin, hoping her eyes would follow it. They didn't.

It _would_ be my luck that I would run into the world's most clueless cougar while having intimate thoughts about my girlfriend in the bookstore's healthy living section.

I was quite positive that the situation couldn't get any worse.

That was until the cougar's girlfriend arrived.

"Robbie I found that Rachel Ray- oooh… who's this handsome young man?"

I was now caught between the two women, each approaching me from opposite ends of the aisle. I was almost sure that I was going to get whiplash with how quickly my head was moving back and forth so I could look between the two. I'd look at one, get nervous that I couldn't see the other, so I'd look at her, and the process would continue. Realizing that this was only going to end up injuring me, I switched over to trying to spot Bella in the fiction section.

She was nowhere to be seen.

"I was just about to get his name when you came along Whitney. I'm Roberta Simms, but you can call me Robbie. My friend here is Whitney Collins… _Mrs_. Whitney Collins."

Mrs. Whitney Collins glared at Robbie, and if it hadn't been me in between them, I probably would have laughed at the situation. The cougar outing the married cougar in hopes of diverting the young man's attention to herself.

It would have been funny in a TV special… but it was _not_ funny in real life.

"Oh, Robbie," Whitney finally said, her voice turning airy. "I'm sure this young man doesn't want to hear about Mr. Collins anymore than he wants to hear about your three ex-husbands and five children. Isn't Melissa's _twentieth_ birthday next week?"

It was Robbie's turn to glare.

I continued to look around anxiously for Bella.

"Is there anything in that book in particular that you'd like to look at, Sugar?" Whitney asked me, licking her lips in a suggestive manner that made me feel vaguely nauseous.

"Uhm… no. I was just glancing at it, and now I should… ma'am, please don't grab me like that!"

"Oh, Sugar, I was just checking to see if your arms felt as delicious as they looked," Whitney was backing me into the bookshelves and Robbie was right there next to her.

Not even Mama Whitlock had managed to frighten me in the way that these two did. Mama Whitlock had been grumpy, over bearing, and holier-than-thou, and I was so sure that sex disgusted her to the point where I actually wondered how Jasper had been created.

These two, however, looked at me as if they were planning on stripping off my clothes as soon as possible.

I could feel a whimper of fear rising in my throat when a sharp voice cut through the air.

"There you are, love. I was wondering where you'd gotten too."

The whimper of fear turned to a whimper of relief as Bella strode determinedly towards the cougars and me, a glint in her eye that promised harm to the two women pawing at me. I smiled at her thankfully as the two women stepped hurriedly back from me, obviously recognizing the look on Bella's face as well. Bella's eyes landed on the book I held, and a flush rose in both our cheeks, but she managed to do an admirable job of overcoming her embarrassment.

"I told you we didn't _need_ that," she sighed, rolling her eyes. She looked at the cougars and gave them a cold smile. "He seems to think we need some sort of guide, but I told him that he can play my body like a fiddle without some sort of sexual instruction guide," she sighed. "Fine, we'll get it. But I refuse to break another bone because you're too enthusiastic again."

The women's eyes went to her arm and bugged out probably thinking, as Bella wanted them too, that she wore the cast because of my enthusiasm. I felt myself turn even redder at the allusion.

"Well… we were just ah… helping him pick out a proper book. You know, as women of experience we can be helpful in that area," Robbie explained, grasping Whitney's arm and moving both of them toward the exit of the aisle. "But I'm sure the two of you will be able to figure it out."

"Ah, yes… and we really should be going. My husband is waiting for me."

The two women quickly made themselves scarce and I sagged back against the shelf.

"Thank God," I sighed, closing my eyes. They snapped back open and I scowled when I heard Bella giggle. "There is absolutely nothing funny about that."

"You looked like you wanted the floor to swallow you up," Bella giggled. "It was actually really funny. I thought _Mrs. Whitney Collins_ was going to drop down to her knees in the middle of the bookstore."

I felt nauseous at the thought, and slightly angry at the fact that Bella knew the women's names.

"How long were you standing there before you interceded?" I growled, upset that Bella had let me go through that without stepping in immediately.

"Just a few minutes," Bella giggled. "It was just too funny to stop immediately.

"Well, that's just wonderful," I snapped at her. "I'm glad I could give you your five minutes of amusement."

I angrily shoved the Kama Sutra back on the shelf and stocked away from both it and my so-called girlfriend.

"What's your problem?" Bella asked, her voice full of exasperation. "Honestly, Edward, your mood swings are worse than a pregnant woman's."

"I'm not fighting with you here," I told her. "Just buy your books."

"So now you're going to throw a fit?" she snapped back at me. "Maybe you were right earlier. Maybe I _don't_ know you well enough to love you. The Edward I _thought_ I knew didn't throw fits like a three year old."

I stood there glaring at her, unable to say anything. I was afraid of what would come out if I opened my mouth to speak.

"Go buy your damn books," I said at last. "I'll be at the bike."

My walk out to the motorcycle involved a lot of cursing, and kicking, and wondering what the hell had just happened. When we'd arrived at the bookstore, we'd been perfectly happy, and I'd been looking forward to a night spent alone with my girlfriend. Now we were fighting, and I wasn't even entirely sure why I was so angry.

Except that was wrong.

I did know I was hurt.

I was hurt.

If it had been Bella in my position, I would have been _pissed_. I would have been green with jealously, and done my damnedest to scare off whatever male was trying to put the moves on my Bella.

She just found it funny, almost as if it didn't matter that her boyfriend was being hit on by two other women. I felt hurt, and insecure, because what if it turned out I was like Mike? Easy to be with, because I couldn't hurt her. I told myself repeatedly that that was impossible; because she had told me she loved me.

Except… I was pretty sure that, if you had asked Mike Newton a month ago, he would've thought she loved him. I hated feeling so unsure, because I wanted to believe her when she said she loved me, but I could remember being told that I was unlovable so many times that the words were almost my mantra.

"I paid for my books," Bella said stonily from behind me. "Are you ready to go now?"

I turned around to look at her, and the sight made my heart wrench. She was watching me, her eyes completely flat and devoid of the light I loved so much.

"Yeah," I choked out. "I'm ready to go."

The ride to the motel was silent, as was the walk to our room. Even after we'd entered, it was still silent. A thick, awkward silence full of words that needed to be spoken but that neither of us were willing to say.

"I made a mess of things, didn't I?" I asked, my voice strained. "I always make a mess of things."

Bella sat on the bed and made a non-committal sound. I sat next to her. I didn't know how to make this right, and that killed me.

"I don't get why you were so upset," she said at last. "I can understand that you're a bit mad that I didn't step in earlier, but you blew this way out of proportion. There are times I feel like I know you, really know _you_ and not just your essentials, and then your mood suddenly changes and I'm back to where you're a mystery. I feel like I'm running blind here, Edward."

I ran my hands through my hair, and leaned my arms on my knees.

"If that had been you, Bella… if two guys had been hitting on you like those women had been hitting on me, I wouldn't have gotten a kick out of it, I would've kicked _them_. I would have been jealous, and possessive, and maybe you wouldn't have liked it, but I was hurt that you _weren't_ jealous and possessive of me. Because you weren't like that with Mike either."

"It always comes back to Mike, doesn't it?" Bella growled. "Mike and your insecurities. What do I have to do to convince you that I care about you, that I love _you_ and that Mike was hardly a blip on the radar of my life? Edward, I left everything I knew behind and got on your motorcycle just because you made me feel more, as a complete stranger, than Mike did in the entire four years I was with him. I wasn't jealous of those women, because, not only were they old enough to be your mother, but you look at me like I'm your every dream come true. Mike looked at me like I was a girl who should be ecstatic to be near him. He was a jerk. Why do you keep coming back to him when he's the past?"

"Because he's not!" I got up and began to pace. "It's been six days, Bella. Six days ago you ignored my very existence, yet now you say you love me? I want to believe you, God knows I want to believe you… but it seems impossible. It seems far more likely that you just think you're in love with me because I'm supposed to be forbidden. When that wears off, when you start to see the real me, are you going to feel the same? Because you don't know the real me, Bella. You don't know the me who plays piano for my mother, or who reads medical journals just so I can talk about them with my father. That's who I really am."

"Do you think I want the delinquent my father described you as?" she asked me incredulously. "Edward, the reason I ignored you was because I _thought_ you were that delinquent, and I wanted nothing to do with him. I'm not Jessica. The forbidden doesn't appeal to me because it's _forbidden_. I want the boy who wouldn't kiss me because he thought I was in love with my ex. I want the boy who plays twenty questions and who has the capacity to hold onto a love that seems impossible for four years," she cupped my cheeks. "And I think it's incredibly sweet that you play piano and read medical journals just to have something in common with your parents. And I want to hear you play some day, even if it's just _Mary Had A Little Lamb_. I have faith in you Edward… couldn't you try to have a bit in me… in us?"

I pressed my forehead against hers.

"I feel like I'm doing this all wrong," I admitted. "You deserve candles and flowers, and for me to pick you up and introduce myself to your father. Instead, you get a broken arm and spectacle after spectacle."

"I like the adventures," she told me. "And, well, the broken arm is irritating… but I wouldn't give up a second of this trip for the world," she pressed her lips to mine. I groaned and buried my hands in her hair, allowing myself to get lost in her kiss.

"Edward," she murmured when we pulled away. "Tell me more about the group homes?"

I froze, still holding her but hardly allowing myself to breathe, her words came as such a surprise.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked slowly.

"Because, they shaped you," she pulled me with her onto a bed, settling us so she was sitting against the wall, while I lay with my head in her lap so she could play with my hair. "And somewhere in that shaping, they hurt you. I want to know you, and that means knowing the dark bits too."

I licked my lips, nervously. I had been hoping that I wouldn't have to deal with this until Chicago. I was certain that if I went there, back to where it all began, I could get passed it, and be able to tell Bella everything.

This seemed too soon.

"I don't know… maybe after Chicago-"

"Going back isn't going to make it better, Edward," she murmured. "Don't tell me everything. Just tell me the basics. That will be enough for now."

"They aren't pretty places, Bella," I said at last. "There are a lot of kids. I went to group homes for boys. I was the youngest in my first one, back when I was three. I had just lost my parents, and I was terrified. There were so many of us, and not enough adults, so we tended to be a bit neglected."

"That's terrible," Bella murmured.

"It wasn't bad," I replied. "It was better than the ones where they paid too much attention. The people there weren't _nice_, Bella. Neglect was better than the attention at times."

There was a long pause, before she finally spoke again.

"Did… were you… did they ever abuse you?" her voice was almost too quiet to hear, but I managed to just catch her words.

"Not in the way you're thinking," I told her. "They didn't beat me or anything. There were a couple of slaps here and there, but nothing terrible. There are other kinds of abuse, and they liked verbal. You have to understand, Bella… the foster system, it completely destroys your identity. They take who you were when you entered, and they destroy it. I was only three, so I didn't really know who I was anyways, but, by the time I was adopted, even the little bit of self I had was taken away. To them, I was unlovable. I grew up believing that."

"I'm so sorry," Bella murmured, and her eyes were sparkling with tears. I smiled at her, reaching up and brushing her tears away.

"Don't be," I told her. "If it hadn't been that way, I would have never been found by Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle was my doctor when I had to get stitches. I was living in New York at the time. They saved me from myself, Bella."

"You _are_ loveable," she told me fiercely, bending down so she could look me in the eye. "If I could meet the monster that told you otherwise, I would… well, I'd cause them bodily harm in some way I'm not sure of. But it would happen."

I laughed and sat up so I could pull her into my arms and kiss her soundly.

"I wish I could see it," I told her once we broke away from each other, panting. "I imagine you'd be fierce in your protection. You'd be magnificent."

Bella turned red.

"I'm not sure magnificent is the word I'd use… I'd probably fall," she murmured, causing me to laugh again.

"Magnificent is the perfect word," I rubbed my nose against hers. "I want to take you on a date."

"A date?" she looked amused at the change of subject. "You just took me to the zoo."

"I mean a regular date. Dinner and a movie where we spend the whole time necking in the back row, and I try to feel you up."

"You do that anyway," Bella laughed, wrapping her arm around my neck.

"Yes, but it's never in an official date capacity. C'mon Bella… won't you go out with me?" I leaned down and began to kiss and nibble at her neck, causing her to let out an odd mixture of a laugh and a moan.

"Okay," she said, pulling back. "I'll go out with you… but I get to be the one doing the feeling up."

I didn't reply, choosing to distract myself with her neck again.

-*-

The date went surprisingly well. I took her to The Keg for dinner, and then we went to see some chick flick starring Gerard Butler in the theatre.

"I love his accent," Bella admitted to me sheepishly as we entered the theatre. I was carrying a large drink for us to share, and she was carrying a bag of M&Ms.

"You're not supposed to tell your date that you love something about another man," I teased. "You'll make me jealous."

She grinned back at me.

"He's also dead sexy, and if I ever saw him I'd run away with him in a second," she replied. "But that's okay, he's on my freebie list."

"Your freebie list?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"It's a list of famous people that you get a freebie with, even if you're in a relationship. Mine is made up of Gerard Butler, Patrick Dempsey, Eric Dane, Hugh Jackman, Robert Downey Jr, and Peter Facinelli," she shrugged.

"You do realize not one them is under the age of thirty, don't you?" I asked, amused at the list of older men.

"So? They're all very attractive. Who'd be on your list?"

I laughed.

"You actually want me to tell you the Hollywood starlets I find attractive?" I asked incredulously.

"Yup," she popped the 'p.' "It's only fair. I told you mine. Besides, we can't start necking and feeling each other up until the lights dim anyways. Other wise it's just tacky."

"Fine," I rolled my eyes. "Six women I'd put on a freebies list… Scarlett Johansen."

"Cliché," Bella snorted.

"She's very attractive," I replied. "Now, no interruptions. It's my list. Scarlett Johansen, Carrie Underwood, Amanda Seyfried, Beyonce, Rachel McAdams, and Nina Dobrev."

"Hmmm… Actually, Rachel McAdams is my favourite actress, so if you were to ever get the chance to use your freebie on her, I'd probably brag about it. You know 'I'm with the guy who did Rachel McAdams.'"

"You are utterly ridiculous," I leaned down and kissed her.

"I told you that making out before the lights go out is tacky," she murmured when I pulled back.

"I've always been fond of tacky myself."

We ended spending the majority of the movie attached at the lips as the movie itself was really quite terrible. Butler played a guy who, as far as I could tell, was a total jackass trying to teach the female lead the art of seduction. I couldn't have told you the characters' names or anything else about the plot though. By the time the lights came back on, Bella was positioned comfortably in my lap.

"What was that movie even about?" she asked me as we left the theatre.

"I'm not entirely sure," I admitted. "You were distracting me, so I didn't get to watch."

"I was distracting _you_?" Bella snorted. "I'm not the one who lifted another person into their lap for better access."

A set of teenage girls who had been following us out of the theatre giggled at Bella's words, so she turned her head back to see them.

"You'll understand some day when you have a super hot boyfriend of your own. Until then, you can stop checking out the ass ofn_mine_."

The girls sneered at her, but Bella wrapped my arm around her and cuddled into my side.

"Where did that come from?" I asked her.

"You were whining earlier about the fact that I didn't get jealous. Well," she shrugged, "those girls weren't old enough to be your mother, so I decided to let my claws out."

I laughed and pulled her into my side tighter.

"Is there anything else you want to do?"

"Yes. I want to go back to the room."

"Oh?" I felt a little disappointed. "Are you tired?"

"No. But I personally felt that I was a little harsh on the Kama Sutra at the zoo when I said you shouldn't buy it. To make up for my judgement, I bought the copy you were using for protection earlier. I think number thirty-six looks particularly interesting, and we really need to work on my flexibility so that we can get to number forty-eight- what the hell Edward!"

Bella grasped my shirt as I swept her off her feet and began to run for my bike.

"No talk, just running."

_**A/N2: I'm going to try and keep all chapters from here on out to be 4000+ words. This does, of course, mean that the chapters may take a bit longer to be updated. I have also closed my poll, and so, at least for now, we will not see a Mike/Charlie confrontation. Many readers have also asked with we will be seeing Emmett/Rose, and of course we will. I love Emmett, so I have to include him. **_

_**I am not going to be offering bribes in this story anymore. Instead, when I have a side story I want to write, I will just write it and post it to GLH: Behind the Scenes, which is on my story page. So if you enjoy them, go on over and add that to your favourites so you can see when it's updated. **_

_**Now, last chapter's song quote was from "I Dare You." For this chapter, the song's artist is David Nail:**_

"It ain't the middle of the night, and it ain't even raining outside. It ain't exactly what I had in mind for good-bye."

_**Remember to go check out the God Love Her thread on Twilighted. There are some pretty neat banners and blinkies.**_

_**http :// www (dot) twilighted (dot) net / forum / viewtopic (dot) php ? f=44&t=8371&start=0&st=0&sk=t&sd=a **_

_**Let me know what you thought of the chapter. **_


	19. Gypsy In My Soul

_**A/N: And here it is; the nineteenth chapter. The song comes from the Johnny Reid song of the same name. I'd suggest looking up some of his videos, if for no other reason than he's Scottish Canadian, good looking, and I could listen to him sing (or talk) for hours. Now enjoy:**_

**Nineteen. Gypsy In My Soul**

I was beginning to understand Edward's moods better with each passing day. The feelings I felt with him were odd. In some ways, I felt as though we had been together for years rather than mere days. In yet other ways, I was very aware of the newness of our relationship, and how fragile it could be if we weren't careful.

Still, I could read his moods well- and at the moment he was, quite obviously, very, very _hungry_.

Not hungry in I could really go for a quarter pounder, but in the I want to rip your clothes off and devour you sort of way.

"I can walk, you know!" I laughed as he carried me into our motel room. He didn't reply. Instead, he dropped me onto the middle of the bed. He stood back and surveyed me where I was splayed across the bed. He gave a pleased nod, as if happy with how I looked before he moved swiftly to the Barnes & Noble bag, digging through it. He paused for a moment, taking out a book with a colourful cover and reading the back curiously.

I blushed when I realized what it was. _Fairyville _by Emma Holly, an author of erotic romance and one of my guilty pleasures.

"Still so many hidden depths to uncover," Edward purred, his voice low and seductive. The sound of it sent a jolt straight through me, and the flush on my face was no longer only due to embarrassment. Edward flicked through a few pages of the book before he set it aside. "We'll save that for later." He grinned wickedly at me and reached back into the bag, pulling out the _Kama Sutra_. With the book in hand, he sauntered back toward the bed, his eyes dark and predatory. "Number thirty-six did you say?"

I was almost reduced to panting and he hadn't even touched me yet.

"D-don't forget about number forty-eight," I managed to get out. "Is it just me or is it hot in here?"

"Hmmm… we will have to work on your flexibility for that one," he murmured, looking between the book and me with clear interest in his eyes.

With a final 'hmmm' he set the book on the edge of the bed and crawled up until he loomed over me on his hands and knees.

"You do look awfully warm," he mused, answering my earlier question. "Maybe you just have too many clothes on."

"That could be it," I agreed. "I think you should probably help me get some of them off."

"Oh, you do, do you?" Edward leaned down and nipped lightly at my neck, causing me to gasp. "Your neck is so sensitive." He ran his tongue across the spot he had nipped, eliciting a low moan this time. He continued this pattern all along my neck and collarbone, alternating nips and licks. I murmured his name in delight and ran my hand through his hair so I could tug it lightly.

"I'm still awfully warm," I told him when he finally slowed his assault on my neck.

"Well, we'll just have to fix that, won't we?" he replied, his crooked grin and dark eyes making him look like an Incubus sent to tempt me to the dark side.

Maybe I was easy, because it didn't take much to tempt me these days. At least not on Edward's part.

Edward pulled me into a sitting position so that he could more easily lift my shirt over my head.

"Lovely," he murmured, running his fingers along the cup of my bra. "I believe you still have a bargain to fulfill."

I blinked at him in confusion, unable to think clearly when his clever fingers were working their magic.

"Bargain?" I repeated rather dumbly.

"Indeed." His fingers found the clasp of my bra and undid it, causing the bra to hang loosely from my shoulders. "If I got us out of the zoo without being caught, you told me that I could have my merry way with you."

"Okay," I replied slowly, blushing when he pulled the bra off completely and sat back to look at my breasts, not even bothering to hide the fact that he was blatantly ogling me. "So we made the deal. Remind me why you're talking again?"

"Well, I'm trying to decide if I want to collect now, or if I should wait." He reached out and cupped my breasts in his hands, using his thumbs to tease my nipples to points.

"Now," I gasped, arching against his hands. "I vote for now."

Edward chuckled lowly and reached out to pick up the book still lying on the end of the bed.

"Are you sure you're up to it?" he asked flicking through the pages. "I believe girls can be… tender, after the first time. I don't want to hurt you."

I frowned slightly, taking his words into consideration. I had maybe been a little sore right after, but our adventures at the zoo had loosened my muscles, and now I didn't even feel a twinge.

"I'm fine," I said after a moment. "Well, except for the frustration. The frustration is a little irritating, so I'd really appreciate getting on with it so that it goes away."

"Well, never let it be said that I let you go on being frustrated." Edward tossed the book aside and flopped onto his back, pulling me down onto his chest. "We can use that later. Right now I just want you."

Edward was peppering every inch of my exposed skin with kisses and I was struggling to get his shirt off when I a loud ring tore into the air. We both froze and another ring sounded.

It was my phone.

"I have to answer it," I said looking down at him. "If it's Charlie…"

Edward sighed and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face in a pillow. I scampered to my feet and dug into my purse, pulling out the cell we had bought in Ellensburg.

It was Renee.

Apparently she and dear old Dad had been talking, because Charlie was the only one beside Edward and Alice who had the number for it.

I was too slow to answer it, and the ringing stopped briefly, before starting up once more. I quickly flipped it open and pressed 'talk.'

"Hi, Mom. How are you?"

"_How are you_? You run off with some boy, a boy who is a trouble-maker according to Charlie, and don't answer my calls, and all you have to say is '_how are you_?'"

I sighed and grinned ruefully at Edward who had sat up to watch me. Whatever he saw in my expression made him flop back with a groan and rest his arm over his face. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Charlie isn't so against it anymore. He hunted us down and we had an enlightening conversation," I told her, while absent-mindedly running my hand along Edward's jean-clad calf. "He gave us his blessing."

"You maybe have his, but you _don't_ have mine. This isn't like you Bella." Renee was obviously struggling to keep her voice calm. My mother had a habit of over-reacting.

"Quite frankly, I don't actually _need_ either of your blessings. I'm eighteen, Mom. What I do with my life is my choice now," I looked down at my fingers and began to trace invisible patterns onto Edward's leg. "I was sick of Forks and doing what everyone _else_ thought I should do. I'm doing something just for myself for once, Mom."

I thought about mentioning all the times I had accompanied her on her hare-brained schemes, but that would only hurt Renee's feelings, which would bring out what I called "the Guilt Factor." Renee had an inhuman ability to guilt people into her way of thinking, and that was the last thing I wanted to deal with at the moment.

"If you were sick of Forks, then you should have come to Jacksonville. Phil and I would have been happy to have you." I heard a snapping sound and realized that Renee had just snapped her fingers. "That's it. You can get that boy to bring you to Jacksonville, and then he can go off wherever it is he wants to go. You'll be away from Forks, and away from that boy, and everyone will be happy."

"I'm not coming to Jacksonville, Renee." I felt the bed move as Edward pulled his leg from beneath my fingers and manoeuvred his body so he could pull me back into his chest. I took comfort in his strength as he held me with one arm and curled a lock of my hair around his finger. "It's not just about getting away from Forks. If that's all I was worried about, I would have driven to Seattle for a weekend. I'm sick of living the life that everyone else says I should, Mom. This trip, it's for me. I'm eighteen and I feel like I'm already burned out. I _need_ this."

"That's ridiculous, Bella. No one is _making_ you do anything. It may seem romantic right now, Bella, but running away with a boy isn't the way to solve your problems."

"You don't get it, Mom," I sighed and leaned even further into Edward, soaking up the warmth of him. "It's not about romance. It's about finding _me_. Do you know what I remember most about the day I graduated? I remember listening to Ben give his Valedictorian address about how our journey so far was just about moulding us into the people we weren't meant to be and how now we were ready to take our places in the world, and wondering _who I was_. Up until now I was your keeper for years, and then I was Charlie's caretaker. I have absolutely no idea who Bella Swan is. The only time I've felt like I was my own person was when I was applying to Cornell. I did that for _me_, and it paid off. I'm willing to take a risk and bet that being with Edward is going to pay off, too." I smiled up at him, and he brushed my bangs out of my face and kissed my forehead. "I'm not you, Mom. And Edward's not Charlie. We're not going to make the same mistakes as you."

"Honey, you know that I love you with all my hear-"

"I know you love me, Mom," I interrupted. "I've never doubted that. But I'm not stupid. I know I was a mistake." I ran a hand over my face and sighed. "I need you to trust me, Mom."

"I don't like it," Renee stated stubbornly. "You're still so young. How can I be a good mother if I turn the other cheek?"

"You'll be a good mother by letting me go. Even if this is a mistake, at least I'll have lived and learned. But, Mom… I'm pretty sure this isn't a mistake. I have to go now. I love you, and I'll call you again next week sometime."

"Bella-"

I cut off whatever else she was going to say by shutting the phone with a distinct 'snap.'

"Are you okay?" Edward asked me softly.

"Yeah," I replied, turning around so I could straddle his lap. His hands came up to my hips in an almost automatic gesture to hold me steady. "I'm just tired of having to defend everything I do to them."

"She's your mother, Isabella. She worries." he bent forward to lean his forehead against mine.

"Renee always goes to the extreme," I replied, closing my eyes with a sigh. "She either worries too much, or she doesn't worry at all. There's no middle ground with her. She didn't worry when I exiled myself to Forks, but as soon as I act a little out of character, as soon as I act like _her_, she wants me to come to Jacksonville to be hidden away."

"I could take you to Jacksonville if you wanted." My eyes snapped open, but Edward continued hastily before I could argue. "I don't mean to drop you off, but just for a visit. Prove to her that you're fine." He traced my features softly with his fingertips and I closed my eyes so I could concentrate on the sensation. "You don't have to decide now. Florida is a long way away, but you _did_ say you wanted to go there."

"I did, didn't I?" I murmured, reaching up to stop his moving hand. I pulled it down to brush a kiss to his palm. "Kiss me, Edward?"

He leaned forward and brushed his lips back and forth against mine, but refusing to deepen it. I took matters into my own hands and leaned forward, pressing my mouth hard to his. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and pulled me closer, teasing my lips with the tip of his tongue until I opened mine to allow him entrance.

"Do you want to get ready for bed?" Edward asked once we broke away.

I smiled at him gratefully, glad that he understood that I wasn't in the mood for anything more than this right now.

"How is that you understand me so well, when Renee doesn't seem to get me at all," I whispered, cupping his face in my hand. "How does that make sense?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Edward grinned at me impishly and kissed the tip of my nose. "We're soul mates."

I knew Edward meant his statement to be a joke, and it did get a smile out of me, but as I lay curled in his arms listening to his soft breathing, I didn't think he was far from the truth

-*-

"Oh my God, Bella, I can _not_ wait to show you this place!"

I smiled at Alice's enthusiasm. Edward was walking around the motel room, making sure that we hadn't forgotten anything, while I spoke to Alice about meeting up in Chicago within the next couple of days.

"I mean, I knew that Jasper's employers had a place set aside for whoever took the job, but I _really_ wasn't expecting it to be so gorgeous. Obviously I'm going to completely redecorate the place, but I have a really good foundation to work with here."

"I can't believe you guys have already moved," I replied. "I didn't think it could be done that quickly."

"Are you kidding me?" Alice snorted indelicately. "I'm surprised it took us as long as it did. Jasper was sick of his mother before you guys had been gone an hour. But that story's boring. I want to know something more interesting. How are you and Edward doing? Did you manage to get that kiss out of him?"

Edward gave me an odd look as I turned completely red.

"Uh… yeah. I did," I replied lowly, turning so that my back was to Edward in the hopes of keeping him from hearing.

"And how was it?"

"It was… it was something," I coughed uncomfortably, and Alice let out a giggle on the other end.

"You two so had sex!" she laughed.

"What? No, I mean… how did you know?" my last four words came out in a small squeak.

"You were acting entirely too awkward for someone who had only made out with a boy. Your ex may be a cheating bastard, but he was still your boyfriend. I'm going to assume the two of you kissed on occasion. Kissing would _not_ make you all squeaky."

"Ugh!" I groaned, rubbing my hand through my hair.

"That wasn't a happy groan," Edward murmured into my ear, causing me to shriek in surprise and toss the cell phone in the air and tumble off the edge of the bed. Edward deftly caught the cell and peeked down at me.

"Hello, Alice," he said, as he quirked his head at me. "That was Bella. She fell off the bed. I think she's okay. Are you okay?"

"You're a jerk, Edward Cullen!" I fumed.

"She's definitely okay," Edward said into the phone. "She just called me a jerk." He was quiet as Alice said something that caused him to grin. "I didn't say it wasn't true, Alice. But she wouldn't have called me a jerk if she wasn't okay. You didn't do anymore damage to your arm, did you?" The last was addressed to me.

I frowned and carefully moved my casted arm, before shaking my head.

"It's fine."

"That's good. Oh, her arm? She had another tumble the night we left Ellensburg and she broke her wrist. She can still move the arm, and has minimal use of her fingers, but I believe it still irritates her a little bit." Whatever Alice said made him frown. "I'm taking perfectly good care of her, Alice. There will be accidents though; I'm not going to wrap her in bubble wrap just to keep her safe… well, if you're going to be like that, then you can just talk to Bella again."

Edward held the phone out to me, and I grabbed it from his hand and held it up to my ear.

"It's me again," I said.

"How on _Earth_ did you manage to break your wrist, Bella Swan?"

"I decided to try some air aerobics," I replied dryly. "What do you know, they didn't agree with the gracefully challenged."

"Oddly enough, I'm not surprised." I could almost hear Alice roll her eyes. "Well, I have to go now. I can hear Jasper moving around, and he's always rather frisky in the morning. Don't blush, Bella. You should know how men are in the morning. I'll see you soon. Don't forget our address!"

There was a click, signalling that Alice had hung up. I pulled the phone from my ear and stared at it dumbfounded. How in the world had she known I was blushing?

"What's wrong?" Edward asked curiously, holding up a sock he had almost missed in his search of the room.

"Is it possible that she's a psychic? Because, honestly, she has some freaky abilities."

Edward laughed and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"C'mon, Love. Let's hit the dusty trail."

I grinned up at him, and was unable to resist pulling him down for a kiss. He manoeuvred us so he could place his hands on my waist and pull me closer to deepen the kiss.

"You know," he murmured, punctuated his words with pecks to my lips. "It's really not fair when you start stuff like this just as we're about to hit the road."

"It gives you something to look forward to tonight," I replied, ducking away from him and scooping up my bag. "Speaking of which, tonight we're shutting off our phones."

That said, I gave him a wicked smirk over my shoulder and sashayed out of the room, able, for once, to keep my balance and make a graceful exit.

It couldn't have been better timed.

-*-

We had been driving for a solid four hours when my stomach growled and let me know that it wanted to be fed.

"I'm hungry!" I called into Edward's ear. "Do you think we could find a place to eat?"

I couldn't see Edward's face, but I did see the side of his lips quirk into a grin.

"I know the perfect place," he called back, pulling a quick turn onto a side road.

"And how do you know any places to eat around here?" I asked curiously. "Have you been here before?"

"I don't know for sure, but that's what roadside signs are for!" he replied with a chuckle.

"Am I the only one who remembers what happened the last time you decided to follow a roadside sign? We almost got shot by a farmer!" I yelped.

"We also met Ms. Maddie," Edward shot back. "Besides, we're already to our stop."

He pulled into the parking lot of a medium sized building. The building looked like it was getting up there in age, but it was surprisingly well-kept, and the sign above it declaring "Papa E's Bar and Grill" still retained all it's letters.

It was the neat line of motorcycles along the bar's side that made me raise my eyebrow, however.

"A biker bar, Edward? Really?"

"Well, I didn't know it was a biker bar when I pulled in, but this really is so much more fitting," he hopped off the bike and held his hand out to me. I hesitantly took it.

"Then what made you pull in?" I asked.

"Apparently this place is the home of the six pound Hereford Hammer Hamburger. If you can eat it in three hours, then you eat free."

"Six… pound… hamburger?" I repeated faintly. "Are you insane?"

"Nope," he replied, popping the 'p' proudly. "I think it'll be fun."

"You're on your own, Edward." I shook my head. "A regular burger is good for me."

"That's fine." Edward grinned down at me as he held the door to the bar open. "You can cheer me on."

"Or hold the bucket for you when you puke," I mumbled, walking passed him, only to stumble on the threshold and knock into one of the bikers, who was about to make his shot at pool.

"What the hell?!" the biker roared, as he sent the cue ball flying off the table. He turned around, holding the cue stick tightly as if ready to bash someone with it. Edward moved so that he stood in front of me protectively.

"Was that you, you little runt?" the biker growled at him, taking a menacing step forward.

"It was me." I peeked out from behind Edward, ignoring his hiss of 'Bella' to look at the biker. "I'm really sorry. I tripped."

The biker's expression changed from menace to one of what I think was supposed to be charm, but just came out looking creepy.

"Well, that changes things. I can't hold a little accident against a sweet thing like you," the biker smiled at me, leaning on the cue stick. Edward glared at him, and I was pretty sure I even heard him give a growl.

Before Edward could do anything stupid, like piss off the biker, a statuesque blonde woman stepped between him and the biker.

"Now, Felix, I hope you're not bothering these lovely young people," she said, baring her teeth. I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be a smile, or if it was just an obvious warning, but it was frightening either way. "You know Eleazar hates when you start trouble in his establishment, and Emmett hates it even more when you get us all kicked out."

Felix backed down, holding his hands up in a gesture for peace.

"I wasn't starting anything, Rose. I was just trying to be friendly. No need to bring Emmett into this."

Rosalie snorted, and it surprised me to hear such an inelegant sound come out of such a beautiful woman, even if she was dressed from shoulders to toes in tight black leather. I almost felt envious; Rosalie looked like she belonged on a motorcycle, _and_ like she'd look good while sitting there.

"Come on," she said, turning to us once she was sure Felix had backed down. "There aren't any free tables, but Em and I don't mind sharing."

Rose led us back to a table where a huge, black-haired behemoth of a man sat. I realized that this must be Emmett and could understand why Felix would be so anxious to stay away from his bad side.

I wasn't sure I'd even want to go near his _good_ side.

"There you are, Rosie!" Emmett called in a deep voice, grasping Rose by the waist and pulling her onto his lap. "Who are your friends?"

"Felix was being annoying again, so I rescued them," Rose replied. "I don't know who they are."

"I'm Bella," I offered, holding out a nervously shaking hand to Emmett. "This is Edward."

Emmett grasped my hand and gave it a strong shake that I felt throughout my whole body.

"No need to worry, little Bella!" Emmett laughed. "I wouldn't hurt a fly unless it hurt me first. I don't start things, I just finish them."

"I can definitely see you finishing things," I murmured, then blushed when I realized that I had said my thoughts out loud. Emmett and Edward both laughed, while Rose gave a small smile.

"As Bella said, I'm Edward," Edward held out his hand and Emmett gave it a firm shake as well.

"I'm Emmett, and this here is my girl, Rosie. I'm the unofficial leader of all these louts. I keep them in line for Eleazar. That's the owner of this place; everyone calls him Papa E. You two here for the Hereford Hammer?"

"I can appreciate the alliteration," I replied dryly. "But I don't think I can appreciate that much meat. Edward is the one eating the burger."

"I wouldn't eat it either," Rose told me. "But it is fun to watch people try. Hey! Papa E, we want a Hammer out here!" she shouted. A tanned man peeked out of the kitchen.

"You got it, Rose. Anything else?"

Rose looked at me in expectation.

"Uh… just a regular burger and fries," I replied quickly. "And a coke if you wouldn't mind."

"Make that two coke, please," Edward added before Rose could yell.

She nodded, then bellowed the order back to Eleazar who, after making sure he had everything, retreated back to the kitchen.

"So, where do you two come from?" Emmett asked.

"The Seattle area in Washington," Edward replied. "We're taking a cross country trip before Bella heads to school in the fall."

"Ah, the last get away for the high school sweethearts," Emmett replied wisely.

"No, actually," Edward grinned. "She didn't even look at me twice until last Sunday. Then she realized how amazingly charming I was and couldn't resist running away with me."

Rosalie snorted and I scoffed.

"Please," I replied. "We both know I ran away with you because I think the motorcycle is hot."

"Well, now we know why she's with me," Edward told Emmett dryly. "If that isn't love, I don't know what is."

I rolled my eyes, but a part of me rejoiced that Edward was starting to feel confident enough to joke about our relationship. We still had a long ways to go, I hadn't missed the fact that he had said before Bella heads to school rather than we, but it was still progress.

"Where are you two from?" I asked.

"I hail from Rochester in Minnesota," Emmett replied. "I decided I needed to get away from there, though. I had no desire to work in the Mayo Clinic, and that's where I would've ended up if I hadn't left."

"Oh… what do you do?" I asked.

"I teach sixth grade." Emmett grinned at our shocked looks. "I know, surprising isn't it? This," he waved his hand around the bar, "is just my summer hobby."

"I'm from Canada originally," Rose offered. "And before you ask, I didn't live in an igloo, I don't have a pet polar bear, and no, I do not know Tim from Toronto. I lived in Winnipeg until I moved to Illinois for school, and I don't like Toronto."

I grinned at Rose's straightforward way of speaking.

"What do you do?" I asked.

"I'm still in University, actually," she replied. "I go to school in Chicago. I have one year left in my law degree. This is just my vacation from the law firm where I have a summer job. I head back next week."

"Huh," I replied. A lawyer; I wouldn't have guessed that, but I could see Rose kicking ass in the courtroom. She seemed like a real femme fatale.

"Here are your cokes." Eleazar came to our table. "And your regular burger and fries. Carmen is bringing the Hammer."

A dainty looking woman carried a huge platter with a gigantic hamburger arranged on it and set it in front of Edward. Just the sight of it almost made me feel full.

"Are you sure you really want to do this?" I asked him, eyeing the burger nervously.

"Oh yeah!" Edward rubbed his hands eagerly together. "Wanna pass me the ketchup?"

This could only end badly.

_**A/N2: So, Emmett and Rose finally make their appearance. I **_**told**_** you I was including them. Thanks once again to RachelleMyBell for reading this chapter and correcting all my silly little spelling mistakes. I always miss those. Please R&R, because I do love to hear from all of you. **_


	20. Unravelling

_**A/N: Well, it's been a while but I finally got number twenty up… and they made it to Chicago finally!! **_

**Twenty. Unravelling**

"I knew it was going to end badly."

Two hours and three quarters of a hamburger had passed since Edward and I had entered Papa E's Bar and Grill. Now I stood outside the men's washroom next to Rose listening to my boyfriend puke out his guts while Emmett gave a running commentary of what was coming out.

"You definitely should have put less ketchup on, man. That is a _nasty_ colour."

"Thanks for the pointer, Emmett," I heard Edward's ragged voice reply. "Next time, you should advise me not to eat the _six pound hamburger_."

"I tried that!" I called through the door. "It didn't work. You have no one to blame for this situation but yourself."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at Rose, who smiled back at me wryly.

"They're men. The only difference between a man and a small child is that the child isn't nearly as obsessed with sex."

I couldn't help but giggle. Truer words had never been spoken.

"Let's go back out to the bar and let the boys deal with… that." Rose's nose scrunched up as the sound of Edward loudly barfing came from the men's room once more.

"That's a good idea," I agreed quickly, feeling my own stomach begin to rebel at the sound. Maybe I was a terrible girlfriend, but I couldn't help but be relieved that Emmett was there to assist Edward through expelling his guts. I don't think I would have been able to do it without becoming sick myself.

"Emmett had the same reaction the first time he tried the Hammer," Rose told me, guiding me away from the restrooms and back through the crowded bar to our table. It had been cleared, including the left over burger that had been thrown to the floor when Edward had made his mad dash for the toilets. "He tried three times before he finally managed to finish it. If he's half as proud when we have kids, he'll be the proudest father this side of Minnesota."

"Is that young man of yours going to be taking up the bathroom much longer?" I looked away from Rose to Eleazar, who stood next to our table with his hands on his hips. "The bikers refuse to go anywhere near the urinals in there until that boy is out, and the side of my bar is starting to look like a tree that's been marked by a wolf."

I looked out of the window to my right. Felix stood there looking down with the same concentration I used to give a bio quiz. After a moment he looked up and his eyes met mine. He gave me a grin and waved, even as his other arm moved in an upwards motion as he pulled up his fly.

I threw up a little in my mouth.

"Oh God, that's disgusting," I said, my head quickly turning away from the window and back to Rose. She was apparently more intelligent than me, and purposely avoided looking towards the window.

"You're in the biker's world now, Bella. We'll be lucky if Felix even spit washes his hands before he goes back to his game of pool," Rose was examining her nails, although she did glance up under her eyelashes when the bell above the door rang and Felix entered the bar once more. I glanced back to see him pick up his pool cue once more, and I made a face.

"Remind me not to touch that cue."

"I keep hand sanitizer at the bar for that stuff." Eleazar nodded sagely at me. "If I didn't, it wouldn't be safe to touch _any_ of those cues. Tell your boy to hurry up. The urine stains take forever to wash off."

"Is that sanitary?" I asked Rose as Eleazar made his way back to the kitchen. "Letting those guys do that?"

"Why do you think he goes and washes it off? No sane person washes up piss stains just for the hell of it, Bella. Eleazar does it to meet health standards. Maybe we should go check on Edward and Emmett again…"

"No need to, Rosie!" Emmett boomed, joining us once more. Edward followed behind him, still looking a little pale, but at least he was no longer green.

"You okay?" I asked, pulling back a chair. Edward slumped down into it with a thankful grin.

"Much better," he replied, laying his head on my shoulder. "Remind me to listen to you the next time you tell me not to do something. You're pretty smart about that sort of stuff."

"I'm aware of that," I replied dryly. "And just so we're clear, you will _not_ be kissing me until you've had the time to brush your teeth… for about half an hour. Got it?"

Edward lifted his head and pouted at me, but I snorted at his expression, unimpressed.

"You're not nearly as cute after I've listened to you puke out your guts for over ten minutes. That look isn't going to work until you've brushed your teeth. For half an hour. Are we clear?"

Edward sighed and laid his head back on my shoulder.

"Fine, fine," he muttered.

"Are you going to be good to drive?" I asked Edward. "We're only two hours from Chicago, and I called to let Alice know we'd only be a few hours when we passed Madison."

"I'm fine," Edward replied.

At the same time, Emmett said, "the only way he's riding a bike is if we tie him on and you drive."

I looked between the two of them in bemusement, then turned to Rose.

"So which is it? He's fine, or I have to learn to drive a motorcycle… today."

"It's neither," Rose replied. "It's _I'll_ drive Edward's bike, and he can ride behind me, while you ride with Emmett. I'd put the boys together, but the bikes weren't made to handle two large men, so this is better for safety's sake."

"I'm not letting a stranger ride my bike!" Edward yelped. "That thing is my baby. Do you know how much blood, sweat, and tears I've put into it? When I bought that bike, it was just a hunk of scrap metal that couldn't turn over if it was the end of the world. I put that baby back together with my own two hands."

"Really?" Rose looked interested, and Edward's expression turned a little sheepish.

"Okay, so it was actually the Forks mechanic, and I just paid for it by doing grunt work at the garage, but it still took a lot of work!"

"I didn't know that," I said. "Although, it does explain why Jerry would always defend you to Charlie. When did you stop working there?"

"I didn't. I just stopped working there after graduation when Jerry told me to have the summer to be wild one last time before I joined the real world." Edward grinned at me. "I'm the one who always did the oil changes on that piece of crap you called a truck. Has it died yet?"

"_Do not_ insult The Thing," I replied icily. "I love The Thing. It has character… and it saved my ass when Tyler Crowley almost hit me with his Mom's van in junior year. If I had been in, let's say that pretty little Mercedes your father drives, I would have never survived the collision."

"Guys?" Rose gave the table a loud bang. "As interesting as this conversation is, can we focus please? If you want to get to Chicago today, Edward, you're going to have to let me drive. It just wouldn't be safe for you to drive after being as sick as you were. You wouldn't want to put Bella in danger, would you?"

I had a feeling Rose would make an amazing lawyer. She knew exactly what buttons to push to make things go her way. At her words, Edward's expression sobered and he looked at me in worry before turning his gaze back to Rose.

"You're right. You have to promise to always watch the road… and to not work the clutch too hard. The breaks are sensitive, so be careful with them. And always, always drive the speed limit."

Rose rolled her eyes but nodded, even as I gave a loud snort.

"Seriously? _You_ are telling someone to drive the speed limit? Do you even know what the legal speed limit _is_?"

"I can't be sure, but I'm sure it's posted somewhere along the road," Edward replied primly. "It's my bike, Bella. If I want to speed, I can. The same rules do not apply to people who do not own the bike. That's just how it goes. Rose will either have to agree to the terms, or we'll be sleeping under the stars tonight."

"No, _you'll_ be sleeping under the stars tonight. I stopped going camping with Charlie when I was fourteen because I _hate_ sleeping under the stars. I'd get a ride with someone. I'm sure Felix would be perfectly amiable to giving me one." I waved my fingers at Felix who was looking at our table as he lined up his next shot. He grinned at me and gave me a sleazy wink and waved back.

The combination of the wink and the memory of what he had done, or not done, to those hands almost made me throw up in my mouth again.

"I think that attempt to make me jealous may have just blown up in your face a little bit," Edward commented, looking between Felix and my face, which was probably looking a little ill.

"Yeah… it definitely did," I agreed, turning back towards Rose and Emmett quickly.

"And what did we learn from it?" Edward asked like a total smartass, unwilling to give up the conversation until he had completely proven his point.

I wondered if we were at the point in our relationship where I could withhold sex. I thought you probably had to have had it more than once before it became a proper threat.

"Well, Bella?" Edward teased.

"I'm thinking that Emmett's wrong and you're probably just fine for driving to Chicago," I replied with a pout. "If you can tease me like this, you can't be that bad off."

"See, Bella agrees that I'm fine," Edward pointed out to Emmett. "So that means I'll be fine to drive myself!"

He got to his feet, then had to immediately sit down again when his legs nearly gave out on him.

"You're fine until you try to stand up," Rose replied dryly. "Then your body reminds you that you've just spent over ten minutes expelling everything in your stomach. We know what we're talking about, so hand the keys over."

"I'll hand them over at the bike," Edward muttered petulantly. "Until then, they're staying with me."

Rose rolled her eyes and muttered something about 'paranoid little boys' under her breath.

"Are you sure you don't mind driving his bike? I don't like for you to change your plans. I mean… we _are_ relative strangers," I pointed out.

Rose waved that aside.

"Consider this my Good Samaritan act of the decade," she told me with a grin. "Besides, it's your boy toy that is going to be letting me ride his bike. For men, that's the equivalent of giving up their first born."

"It is," muttered Edward. "That's why I don't want to do it."

I rolled my eyes. Maybe it was because the only vehicle I had ever owned was The Thing, but I had never been able to understand the obsession some people seemed to have with their mode of transportation. Sure, Edward's bike added to that whole "bad boy" persona he had going on, but it was still just a big piece of metal when push came to shove.

"Well then." Emmett stood up and held his hand out to Rose. "If you kiddies want to make it Chicago today, then we'd best be hitting the road." He looked at Edward. "You'll have to give up your keys now."

Edward pulled the keys out of his pocket and looked at them longingly, before turning a suspicious gaze to Rose.

"Do you think we have time to run a criminal record check?" he asked me, his eyes flitting between his keys and Rose's outstretched hand.

"Oh for God's-" I didn't bother to finish the expletive, choosing instead to reach out and snatch the keys from Edward's hand and deposit them in Rose's. "Be sure you keep it well fed and watered, and it needs to be loved or else it starts to whine."

"You can't just go around giving other people's keys away," Edward complained. "Besides, what kind of instructions for care are those? Love it or it starts to whine? My bike never whines!"

"I was talking about you," I informed him dryly. "While you were caressing and whispering love words to your precious keys, I made the executive decision to run away with Emmett. He may need to be fed more, but he doesn't appear to be having an emotional affair with a motorcycle."

Rosalie snorted.

"That's because no one is trying to take his keys away," she muttered. I think Emmett said something in reply, but I didn't hear it. I was too busy being distracted by Edward.

"Leaving me for Emmett, hmmm?" He raised an eyebrow. "Well then, I'll just have to give you something to remember me by, to make sure that you're ruined for other men."

He bent his head down to kiss me, but I turned my head at the last moment so that he got my cheek.

"You still haven't brushed your teeth yet," I told him with a sheepish grin. "Not even for you will I kiss someone who has puke mouth. That's disgusting."

Edward sighed and rested his forehead against mine.

"I've gone too long without a Bella kiss," he muttered, pouting.

"You should have thought about _that_ before you tried to eat a _Hereford Hammer_. What have we learned from this experience?" I mocked his words from earlier.

"That you're cruel?"

I snorted.

"Hardly. We've learned that when Bella says something, you listen. Because Bella knows best."

"Is this speaking in third person thing going to last long?" Edward asked, grinning down at me. "Because I could see it getting irritating rather fast."

I smacked his chest softly, and went on my tip toes to kiss his cheek before pulling myself away from him and going to Rose and Emmett, who were waiting patiently for us to finish our PDA and join them at the doors.

"Shall we get this trip on the road?" I asked, clapping my hands together as I reached them.

"Of course," Emmett agreed. "Does that little scene back there mean you're not running away with me anymore?"

I patted his arm in mock sympathy.

"Sorry, Emmett, but I promised Edward the opportunity to win me back. We'll have to put up with him for a little longer."

"You'll pay for that comment," Edward growled into my ear, making me shiver. His voice did odd things to me when he growled.

"It looks like you're going to have to settle with staying with me," Rose told Emmett dryly. "By the looks of it, Beauty is wrapped firmly around her Beast's little finger."

"I wouldn't say around his little finger. More like around his little d-"

Rose elbowed Emmet hard in the chest, causing the air to leave his lungs and his words to cut off with an 'oof!'

"And you don't even think about it!" Rose added to Edward, when he went to open his mouth. "I know men, and you have one of those 'must defend my size' looks on your face. There will be no size jokes while you're with me, got it?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Edward's reply was so energetic I half expected to see him give Rose a salute. She eyed him suspiciously, as if trying to decide if she was being mocked. She finally decided he was sincere and gave a crisp nod.

"Okay, now let's go get your bike started." Rose grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the bar. He looked back at me to mouth 'help me!' but I just laughed and gave him a wave.

No way was I going to challenge Rose, not even for Edward.

-*-

Emmett, as I soon discovered, was much more talkative than Edward. He couldn't go five minutes without commenting on something, even if it was something as silly as seeing a rabbit shaped cloud.

It made me nervous when he commented on clouds. If he was looking at clouds closely enough to see their shape, that meant he _wasn't_ looking at the road.

"Eyes on the road please, Emmett!" I shrieked as we began to swerve towards the ditch.

"Oops, sorry, Bella." I couldn't see his face, but Emmett's voice certainly sounded sheepish. "But did you see it? That cloud looked exactly like the T-Rex from Jurassic Park."

"I missed it, sorry," I replied dryly.

"That's okay." I saw a flash of dimple in Emmett's cheek. "I'll be sure you see it next time."

I didn't realize I had groaned out loud until Emmett started to laugh loudly.

"Am I making you uncomfortable, Bella?" he asked, and I saw the dimple flash again.

"A little," I admitted, feeling a bit embarrassed. "When you look at the clouds…" I let my sentence trail off.

"Rose doesn't like it when I do that, either," Emmett replied. "When I start, she makes me pull over so she can drive… hmmm…"

"What?" I asked. "What's hmmm? Is hmmm good?"

"I was just wondering… how would you like to learn how to drive this baby?" Emmett slowed down, coming to a halt on the shoulder of the road.

"Uh… not possible today. I'm kind of out of commission." I waved my injured wrist in front of his face.

"Pffft," he scoffed. "You can still drive with that, you just have to be a bit more careful. You still almost full use of your hand, and I'll be here to help you if you need it."

"Are you crazy?" I asked as Emmett got of the bike and motioned for me to slide up to the front. "Because making me drive a motorcycle with a broken wrist definitely seems crazy."

"Possibly," Emmett replied brightly. "Are you saying you don't want to learn to ride?"

"I…" I paused. I had never really thought of it. Edward drove, and I rode. That's just how it went.

But it didn't have to be that way…

"You won't let anything happen?" I asked him. "If it were to look like I was about to crash, you'd take control and keep us alive?"

"Of course," Emmett replied, hopping on behind me. "If Rose didn't kill me, then I think your Edward would"—I blushed at that, but I also liked how it sounded. My Edward.—"Now, this here is the clutch. That's the gas, and this is the brake. To get going, you'll want to release the clutch slowly while applying the gas. Don't give it too much gas, or we'll shoot off when you release the clutch, and then even I wouldn't be able to save us. When it's time to release the clutch completely, you'll feel a little pop. Wait for the pop or we'll stall."

"Okay. So, release clutch slowly and apply gas and- HOLY SHIT!!"

I had done what Emmett had said not to and applied to much gas. He cursed and grabbed the handlebars, just managing to get the bike under control and bring us to a stop.

"Okay," he said once we had stopped. He was breathing in heavy pants. I was too afraid to breathe, and only managed to when my lungs began to burn. "Now that we know you know how to not do it, let's try again."

"You're definitely crazy if you think I'm trying that again. Let's switch around. Rose and Edward are probably in Chicago by now, and they'll be worrying." I tried to get off the bike, but Emmett held me firmly in place. Manacles wouldn't have been more effective.

"You're greatly exaggerating how long that took. This time I'm going to put my hands over yours so that you know what pressure to apply, and when to release the clutch. Get your hands in position."

I took a deep breath and released it slowly. I didn't feel calm right away, so I repeated the process. At last, I decided I was sufficiently calmed and positioned my hands one more.

"Okay, let's do this," I said, gripping the handlebars.

Our start went a lot smoother this time. I let Emmett guide the pressure on the gas and the release of the clutch, and soon we were flying down the interstate.

"Okay, so now we just have to keep our balance. That shouldn't be hard since you've been riding with Edward for a while. I'm going to release your hands now. Ready? On the count of three. One. Two. Three."

Emmett released my hands, and I was the one left to control the bike. I was a bit wobbly at first, as the steering was far more easily put off on the bike than in my old truck, but after a few minutes I managed to brace my arms and keep the bike under full control.

It felt nice to be in control, and I let out an exhilarated laugh. I heard Emmett laugh behind me as well.

"Feels good, doesn't it, Bella?" He asked.

"Amazing!" I agreed with another carefree laugh. I could feel my adrenaline pumping, and I'm not sure I had ever felt so alive.

Emmett only had to help me with controlling the bike twice before we reached the gas station on the city limits of Chicago where it had been agreed we would stop to fill with gas. Emmett helped me to shift down gears and we finally came to a stop by the gas pump next to Edward's bike. Rose was grinning at me. Edward looked pale and worried.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, hopping off Emmett's bike so I could frame Edward's face in my hands. "You're not sick again, are you?"

Edward grasped my wrists, being extra careful of the injured one, and gently pulled them away from his face. Then he glared at Emmett over my shoulder.

"Are you insane?" he snarled at Emmett. I stared wide-eyed at Edward's back, wondering if he wasn't the insane one. I was pretty sure Emmett could crush Edward without an effort.

"Why do people keep on questioning my mental capabilities?" Emmett asked. "First Bella, now you. I'm beginning to feel a little insulted."

"_She has a broken wrist!_" Edward shouted. "What on earth made you think letting her drive a potentially dangerous piece of metal was a good idea?"

"She managed just fine." Emmett rolled his eyes. "In fact, she enjoyed it. Are you sure you're not being too overprotective?"

"She could have re-broken the bones! I have every right to be worried about her!"

"_She_ is standing right here," I pointed out dryly. "And _she_ is completely unharmed. No blood, no foul, Edward. Besides, Emmett's right. I really did enjoy it."

"You could have been hurt, or had an accident or-"

"Been hit by a meteorite. Or maybe I could've been smote for running off with the sinner of Forks." I grasped Edward's jacket lapels in my hands and pulled him down for a kiss that was meant to sear him to the bones. Judging by his expression when I let him go, I succeeded in my purpose. "You're being ridiculous. We can talk all we want about what might have happened, but it _didn't_. Try living in the now, Edward. It's what I'm doing."

Edward sighed and rested his forehead on mine, closing his eyes.

"I can't help but worry about you, Bella. You mean the world to me."

"I hate to ruin this touching, sickeningly sweet moment." Rose's voice cut in. "But you do realize he hasn't had time to brush his teeth yet, don't you?"

I paled as I realized I had just kissed Edward while he still had puke mouth.

"Oh, ew!" I made a face that had all three of my companions laughing at me.

"I rinsed out with water. Thoroughly," Edward assured me.

"It's not the same as brushing." I made another face. "OK… no more kissing until those teeth are brushed."

"Which will be sooner than expected," Rose interceded. "Edward got a voicemail from your friend… Jasper, I think? Edward said you won't be going to see them until morning."

"He has a work function," Edward explained. "Short notice, but Alice is going with him, so we'll be checking into a hotel for the night instead."

"I'd offer to let you stay at my apartment," Rose said. "But it's very small, and the only other room belongs to my roommate who is anal about other people sleeping in her bed."

"That's fine. We don't mind renting a room," I assured her.

"I guess this is where we say good-bye, then," Edward said. At my questioning look he elaborated. "I'm good to ride my bike now, so we'll be partners for the last little bit of the trip."

"Oh… well…" I was a little sad. I had enjoyed my time with Emmett, and Rose seemed like a great girl. Then I got an idea. "Hmmm… Alice, one of our friends, said she wants to take me shopping tomorrow. Would you like to join us? It will be strictly us girls. Alice was very strict about no boys being allowed."

"Sounds good," Rose agreed. We exchanged numbers and filled the bikes with gas. I took a turn to pay for the gas, and when I came back out to Edward he was staring towards the skyscrapers of Chicago, visible on the horizon, with a contemplative look on his face.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, resting my palm on his shoulder. Edward started, as if surprised by my appearance and looked at me with unseeing eyes for a moment, before he seemed to give himself a shake and gave me a grin.

It was weak and didn't reach his eyes, and I felt a niggle of worry in my stomach.

"I'm fine. C'mon, let's get this show on the road."

It took us forty-five minutes to enter the city and find a hotel that fit both my rule and Edward's standards. That meant we were staying at yet another Days Inn. We got our bags settled and Edward brushed his teeth before we headed out again, this time to get a bite to eat.

Over the meal we made small talk, not speaking about anything important and completely ignoring the pink elephant that was following us around. I finally broke under the pressure of that elephant when we got back to the room.

"What are you going to do tomorrow?" I asked Edward. He was sitting in the chair at the desk. He had remained quiet since the gas station, and his expression was introspective, as if he were seeing something other than the room.

"I have a couple of places I want… _need_ to go," he replied, standing up and striding up to me. He cupped my face in his hands and bent his head down to kiss me. It was a desperate kiss, the kind of kiss you gave someone when you needed to exorcise a memory.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked him once he'd pulled back.

"Not tonight," he murmured, leaning down to brush his lips against mine. "I'll talk tomorrow… but tonight I need you. _Please_, Bella."

I wanted to ask more questions. I wanted to know what it was about this city that caused these feelings in Edward. Was it his memories of the foster homes? Or was it something more? And why wouldn't he tell me.

I wanted to ask all these questions, but I also wanted to give him the comfort he so desperately needed.

"Okay," I panted as he frantically kissed me everywhere his lips could touch skin. "Tomorrow."

The first time we'd had sex it had been a little bit of awkward and a whole lot of sweet. This time, there was pure desperation in Edward's every touch.

"I love you," he murmured into my abdomen as he kissed his way down my body, his voice as desperate as his touch. "Promise me you won't leave?"

"Never," I gasped in reply, as Edward's tongue stroked and teased me. A vague, foggy part of my brain was embarrassed by this, but the rest of me was too focused on how Edward's ministrations made me feel to care.

This time when he entered me, there was no pain, just pure pleasure.

"Oh, God," I moaned, burying my face against Edward's neck. He gave a low growl in reply. A sound that was enough to send me over the edge screaming his name against his skin. After a few more thrusts, Edward was bellowing out my name as he reached his own peak.

It made me feel a bit smug that I could make him bellow like that.

"I can never get close enough to you," Edward told me once we had separated and lay panting next to each other. He rolled onto his side and curled a lock of my hair around his fingers. "I think I would be happy if I could stay inside you for the rest of my life."

"That's kind of cheesy." I grinned up at him, and reached up to grasp his hand in mine. "It was also incredibly sweet."

"So… you don't mind cheesy?" he grinned down at me. This time it reached his eyes, but they weren't as bright as usual. I bit my lip, a nervous habit I had developed over the years, and released his hand to run mine through his hair.

"What's wrong?"

Edward sighed and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me tightly into his chest. I nestled in, enjoying the closeness.

"Tomorrow. I promise, we'll talk tomorrow."

I frowned into his chest, but nodded my head, not wanting to push him yet. Edward continued to play with my hair for another half hour before sleep finally overtook him. I stayed awake for much longer, worrying about the beautiful, messed up boy who held me in his arms. At about one in the morning, I finally succumbed to sleep.

When I awoke the next morning, Edward was gone.

_**A/N2: And that is chapter twenty. The next couple of chapters will be a little angsty, but not heart fail material. This is, after all, a fairly light hearted story. I have a new story up called "Dancing with the Devil's Daughter." It's very different from GLH, but I'm enjoying writing it, so I hope you'll check it out. You should also wander over to RachellMyBell's page and read her story "Her Ivory Tower," there's only one chapter so far, but it has a Bella who owns a lingerie store, so you know it's going to be awesome.**_

_**Finally, I am on Twitter. I go by LynyrdLionheart, and I'm going to start posting spoilers and fun stuff like that there, so you should come and start following me. Originally it was meant to be my personal Twitter (using real name and all), but then I realized I needed to do something with it besides cyberstalking Peter Facinelli and Ian Somerhalder, so now it's going to be my fanfic Twitter. **_


	21. Chicago

_**A/N: Here, I updated it nice and quickly. It's only been two days! Thanks to my beta RachelleMyBell for always being so quick on getting the chapters back to me. It's spoiling me for other betas.**_

**Twenty-One. Chicago**

There comes a time in every girl's life when she realizes that all men are assholes. It's to varying degrees, of course, but they're still assholes.

_I_ came to this realization as I sat on a Days Inn bed staring at a discarded condom wrapper on the floor and a one line note crumpled in my hand.

_I had to do this alone. I'll see you tonight. Love, E._

"I can't believe this," I muttered darkly. "He has _got_ to be fucking kidding me! Who does this?"

I had known that Edward would be going off somewhere today. I even had vague suspicions of where, but I had thought he would at least give me a ride to Alice and Jasper's place and an explanation before he left.

No, instead I got a two sentence notice signed with the letter 'E.' He couldn't even be bothered to write out his whole name.

Asshole.

I picked up my phone and was beginning to type out a very angry text message, then snapped it shut abruptly and tossed it onto the bed behind me. Getting to my feet, I began to pace the five steps between the bedside table and the room's desk. Rather than helping me, each step just made me angrier and angrier.

We'd had sex last night. It was really good sex. I had let him play my body like a freaking _fiddle_. Didn't I deserve a simple _"good morning, here's some coffee. I gotta run."_?

The bastard could have at least bought me coffee after I rocked his world like that.

Finally sick of pacing like a deranged maniac, I scooped up my phone once more and found Rose's name in my contacts.

_"Hello? Bella?"_

"All men are assholes," I stated, forgetting about hellos and cutting straight to the chase.

_"I'm aware of that fact. I've been with Emmett on game day. What brought this sudden epiphany on?"_

"I woke up this morning and Edward, rotten jerk that he is, was gone. He didn't even buy me a damn cup of coffee." I huffed and heaved my legs onto the bed so I could lean against the head board. "So now I need a ride to Alice's place."

_"He _left_ you?"_ Rose's voice sounded shocked. _"So, what? He just decided to leave you in Chicago, miles away from your home and ride off into the sunset alone? That goes past asshole into the territory of douchebaggery, Bella."_

I was confused for a moment at Rose's talk of abandonment, then realized how the situation must have sounded to someone who didn't know any of the particulars.

"Oh, shit! He didn't _abandon_ me, Rose. He had a few places he had to go. It's just that instead of waking me up and telling me, and giving me a ride like any _normal_ person would do, he just left me with a note and no mode of transportation."

_"Oh."_ Rose sounded slightly mollified. _"Well, where did he go?"_

I sighed and re-arranged the pillow behind me.

"I can't really tell you that," I admitted. "Partly because I don't know _exactly_ where he went, and partly because where I think he went is kind of private and not my story to tell."

_"He has some issues, doesn't he?"_ Rose sighed. _"Boys with issues are always the toughest ones to date."_

I laughed at her bluntness.

"I'll take your word for it. I don't really have enough dating experience to be able to say either way."

_"Where are you staying? I'll come pick you up and we can plan how you're going to make Edward regret pulling a disappearing act on you."_

I told Rose the motel address, then continued hesitantly.

"What do you mean that we have to plan how to make Edward regret disappearing?"

_"It doesn't matter if he has a valid reason, Bella. Letting him get away with having bad manners is setting a bad precedent. It's your job as his girlfriend to make sure that he behaves better. You have a lot to learn about men. Don't worry; I have years of experience with Emmett. I'll teach you exactly what you need to know."_

Rose hung up, promising to be at the motel in forty-five minutes. I spent the time showering, getting dressed, and worrying about Edward. I had wanted to help him face his demons. Instead I was left behind to worry and wonder what Edward I would be faced with when he returned- a healing one, or one who was even more damaged than before.

I was brought out of my musings by the sound of my cell ringing. It was Rose, calling to tell me she had arrived.

I exited the motel to see a bright, cherry red BMW parked out front. Rose was behind the wheel and waved for me to get in the car when she saw me exit the building. I didn't know much about cars, but I had spent enough time with Charlie over the years to suspect that this was a very nice, very expensive car.

"Wow," I said, climbing into the passenger seat.

"A gift from my grandfather," Rosalie explained. "He always spoiled me when I was a child, and he still spoils me now that I'm an adult. I'm his only grandchild, so he spoils me enough for a dozen of them. So, where do these friends of yours live?"

I flicked open my phone and scrolled through my texts until I got to the one Alice had sent me with their address. I read it off to Rose who nodded.

"I know where that is. Buckle up and hold on tight, little Swan. I like my speed."

I gave a shriek as Rosalie spun out of the parking lot. She really wasn't lying about the speed.

-*-

"Remind me again what we're hoping to accomplish with this?" I asked, uncapping a small bottle of tangerine scented massage oil and sniffing it.

"Really, Bella, you have _got_ to learn more about men." Alice rolled her eyes at my question.

"That's what I told her," Rose agreed from where she was surveying a collection of scented candles.

It had taken all of five minutes after we had arrived at Alice's for the two of them to become best of friends, united in what Alice had deemed "Project Tease." Like Rose, she believed that Edward's actions required punishment, which was why I was now standing between a display of scented candles and massage oils in a small sex shop that Alice had somehow found in the few days since she'd come to Chicago. Part of me agreed with them, but a larger part really just wanted to know that he was okay.

"I know enough about men," I argued, even though I knew it wasn't true. "What I don't know is why I need massage oil for revenge. What am I supposed to do with it? Threaten him? _You left, now face the wrath of the tangerine!_"

Rose rolled her eyes, and Alice patted her arm.

"Don't worry, Rose. We'll teach her all she needs to know," Alice assured the blonde before turning back to me. "Since you appear to need us to spell it out, I'll just come right out and tell you what your revenge is for. You are going to torture Edward sexually until he swears to never do _anything_ unless you approve of it."

"And that requires _massage oil_?" I held up the bottle, even as I felt a flush rise up in my cheeks. "Explain this to me, Alice, because Edward and I have gotten along just fine without massage oil so far."

"The two of you have had sex, then?" Alice gave a nod, as if she were a general who had just been given a good report on the enemies' movements. "Good, that makes this so much easier." Her look became a grin. "On a different note, how was it?"

"I'm not talking about it," I replied, burying my face in my hands to hide my blush. "It's bad enough I'm looking at this stuff with you guys. I'm not talking about sex with Edward."

"Party pooper," Rose muttered, and I looked from between my fingers to see her picking up yet another bottle of massage oil. "This one is flavoured and tingles on application."

"Put it in the basket," Alice ordered. Rosalie moved to put the bottle in the basket dangling off her arm, but I reached out and grabbed it before she could.

"I don't want chocolate flavoured," I said when Rose raised a questioning brow at me. "Is there tangerine?"

As many a wise person once said: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

"That's the attitude!" Rose smirked at me. "There's no tangerine, but there is orange or peach."

"Go with the orange."

We spent another twenty minutes scouring the massage oils and candles. Once Alice and Rose were happy with my selections, and with my knowledge of how to _use_ those selections, they decided to move on.

To the costume section.

"No," I said bluntly, digging in my heels before they could drag me in amongst the leather cat suits and whips that seemed to make up the majority of the costumes.

"Oh, come on, Bella. Basic role play is an excellent way to get a man all hot around the collar." Alice yanked at one of my arms. "I promise that we won't even look at the whips."

"Damn right we're not looking at the whips!" I shrieked. "Because I refuse to go anywhere near that stuff!"

"It's just a little harmless fun, Bella." Rose joined Alice in yanking on my arm. "The leather isn't going to hurt you."

"You don't know that!" I argued, pulling my arm back. "It could chafe. Chafing hurts!"

Rose and Alice had released my arms and stepped back to watch my rant in amusement. As my words came to a halt, I realized that it seemed awfully silent. I looked around to see the five other shoppers and three store assistance were all staring at me, their expressions varying from confused to amused. At that moment, I would have thanked God if the floor had opened below me and swallowed me whole.

Why was it always me?

"Uh… carry on. We'll just be over there… looking at the leather pants." My blush got even brighter as I dragged Rose and Alice in to the costumes and towards the back wall, which was as far as I could get away from everyone else in the store without actually leaving.

"Well," I heard Rose mutter to Alice. "That's one way of getting her to do as we say."

"Shut up," I snarled back at her, releasing both her and Alice and continuing on my own.

Their laughter followed me.

-*-

"Aren't we done yet?" I groaned as Alice and Rose led me to yet another store. After the disastrous experience that was the sex shop, I had been herded into what seemed like every store in the mall, including Wal-Mart, which Alice declared had some cute clothes for a fraction of the regular price.

"I designate one day a month as my crazed shopaholic day," Alice informed me. "I saved that day for today. Which means you'll have to put up with me until I say we're done. Besides, all this shopping has served a purpose."

"Besides humiliating me and emptying my wallet?" I muttered, thinking of the tiny nurse's outfit I had been forced into buying at the sex shop. It was one item that would never see the light of day.

"Yes. You've managed to concentrate on something other than worrying about Edward," Rose explained.

I looked at her, and realized with some surprise that she was right. The worry had been there just below the surface of my mind all day, but Rose and Alice had kept me so busy that I hadn't been able to really concentrate on it like I probably would have under normal circumstances.

"He hasn't contacted me all day," I said quietly. "It's been eight hours, and I haven't even gotten a text. I have no clue where he is, and he hasn't even sent me a text."

Alice wrapped her arms around me and Rose gave my shoulder a pat.

"He's fine," Alice said. "You'd know if he wasn't. I bet when you go back to your motel, he'll be there waiting for you."

"And you'll be able to teach him that one does not sex it up and run, even if they plan on coming back," Rose added. "Now, buck up. We have one last stop for Project Tease."

I looked at the store we had stopped in front of. Victoria's Secret. I opened my mouth to argue, then shut it and just shook my head.

"He had _better_ appreciate all of this."

Laughing, Rose and Alice led me into the store for another hour of torture.

When we left the store, I was carrying a bag of lingerie and down one hundred dollars. Rosalie drove to Alice's place, planning on dropping her off and then taking me back to the motel.

The shiny black bike parked by the curb changed those plans.

It was Edward's, and the man himself sat next to it. He held a bundle of roses in his hand and stood when he saw us, setting the roses carefully on the bike's seat.

"Will you take a ride with me?" he had obviously been to our motel room, because he held my helmet out to me. I got out of Rose's car and accepted it.

"Thanks for the ride, Rose," I said to her, though I never took my eyes off Edward. He looked tired, but his eyes burned bright with emotion as he looked at me. It was the look of a conquering warrior returning home from a fight.

It was the look of someone who was where they belonged.

"No problem," Rose replied. "We'll all have to get together for before you two kids head out again. Alice and I will plan it. You two have… fun."

"I have some stuff… can we fit it on the bike?" I looked back at my bags in the car. Edward held out one of our canvass bags. It was empty.

"I thought you might have some stuff, so I brought this."

Between the two of us, we shoved all my purchases into the canvass. Edward was briefly distracted when he saw the Victoria's Secret bag, but I shoved it into the canvass and glared at him before he could explore its contents. Edward grinned at me, and grabbed my hips, pulling me in to give me a kiss passionate enough to make my toes curl. I buried my hands in his hair and kissed him back, pouring out all the worry and anger I had been feeling the whole day. I think I would have kissed Edward forever, but we were soon interrupted by a loud wolf whistle.

"That was hot!" Rosalie said, grinning at us when we turned to look at her. Alice was snickering beside her, and I rolled my eyes at both of them.

"You're both jerks," I said pointing between them. Then I pulled them both into a hug. "Thanks for today. I needed it."

"Remember Project Tease," was all Alice would say.

"Give him hell," added Rose.

I turned back to Edward who held his hand out to me. I took him and let him lead me to his bike. He started it, and then we started to fly down the Chicago streets. I stayed silent, willing to wait until we reached our destination before peppering Edward with all the questions I had. The first one being what the roses were for.

When we finally came to a stop, we were at a graveyard.

"What are we doing here?" I asked, letting Edward grasp my hand and lead me through the tombstones. It was twilight, and it was a little creepy, especially since every other grave seemed to have an eerily glowing solar light somewhere on it.

"I told you a story that first day on the road. About Kate and Irina, remember?" he asked instead of answering my question.

I had to think for a moment before I remembered his story about his first crush.

"Your first crush and the sister you dumped her for. I remember, why?"

Edward came to a stop in front of a tomb stone and I read the name.

_**Irina Montgomery**_

_**April 2, 1991- February 3, 2008**_

_**A beautiful soul who **_

_**Lost her way**_

_**May she find peace**_

_**In His arms**_

I stared at the tombstone in shocked surprise. Edward knelt down and set the roses on the grave. He stayed in that position for a moment, before standing again and turning sad eyes to mine.

"I thought they lived in Denali," I said quietly.

"No. They were in the same group home as me, one in a small town just outside the city." He looked sadly down at the grave. "I hadn't seen her in twelve years." He reached out and stroked the tombstone before looking back at me, resolve in his eyes. "I think it's time I told you everything."

_**A/N2: So, before you gather up the lynch mob because I've left another cliffie, let me defend myself. Before Edward can tell her everything, you first have to see where he's been all day, which requires an EPOV. I've already started on it. It's going to be a nice, long chapter. On the bright side- I did not pull a New Moon!! **_

_**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, and to those who are now following me on Twitter. I like to post random quotes from future chapter there. **_


	22. The House that Built Me

_**A/N: This chapter is lacking the usual fluff and funnies. I'm sorry for that, but I promise next chapter it will get back to being happy and funny. I swear it! Please enjoy:**_

**Twenty-Two. The House That Built Me**

**EPOV**

I knew that leaving Bella was the ultimate jerk-move, but I didn't think I could bare the questions I knew she would ask if I woke her.

So, I didn't.

I tried to justify my actions to myself as I snuck around in the dark, putting my clothes on by touch alone. I was afraid that if I turned on the light or opened the blind that Bella would awake. Once I was dressed, I felt around until I found my keys and, once they were in my hand, quietly left the room.

In the hall, I stood for a moment with my head pressed against the door. As much as I didn't want to face Bella's questions, there was another part that wanted desperately for her to be by my side as I faced a past that I couldn't forget, no matter how hard I tried. I reached for the doorknob, my mind made up that I was going to wake her up, even if it was just to hear her say everything would be okay, but I pulled my hand away at the last moment.

If I wanted to get over this and be someone that deserved Bella, then I had to do this alone.

I took a deep breath, then stepped away from the door and turned away, walking towards the motel lobby.

The spectre of Chicago and the misery I had felt there, and in the smaller towns surrounding the city, had always been in the back of mind. It had been there, but I had never really acknowledged it, content in the new life I was forging with Carlisle and Esme. They were giving me a second chance. A chance that, even at nine, I knew I desperately needed. I had been happy to take that second chance and run with it.

Then we had moved to Forks and I had screwed it all up in a half-assed attempt to win the attention of the town's angel.

It was the day when Isabella Swan had come to school and looked right through me, acting as if I didn't exist, that the spectre in the back of mind began to move to the forefront. Bella was the first person I had ever _really_ wanted to be better for, and instead I had fallen into bad habits and ruined all chances with her.

Or so I had thought until that night on the cliffs when she had agreed to run away with me. In that moment, I had never felt so much happiness, and Chicago's spectre had never been so strong.

So, I had made a plan in that moment. I would sweep the girl off her feet, return to Chicago and show the city that haunted me that I had moved passed it and the crappy memories, and proceeded to happily ever after.

Of course, all my grand plans came crashing to a halt the second that Bella had coldly told Charlie of her plans to attend Cornell. She had stood up to her father, had stood up for me, and us, and I had never been as proud of anyone as I was of her in that moment.

I had also never felt as heartbroken, not even when Bella had stopped saying "good morning" to me after my incredible act of stupidity in freshman year. Back then I had been sure I would never have her. This time, I had her, but I was going to lose her to Cornell and her dreams. The only dreams I had, involved her. Sometimes I was a doctor in those dreams, but she was always present.

Still, Bella believed in me. She believed that I could do great things, and she seemed to want to be with me as I did them. So, for her, I would go to schools and look at the programs and try to become someone that she could be proud to be seen with. I would become the strong, capable man that she deserved. If she said I could be a doctor, then I'd become a damn doctor just to prove her right.

And, all right, because I had wanted to be a doctor since I had first met Carlisle Cullen and he had saved my life.

Before I could do that, though, I needed to return to the beginning. Because, as much as Bella's belief in me lifted me up, I was smart enough to realize that if I didn't believe in myself I would be destined for failure. I was sick of feeling like a failure and sick of feeling like I would fail Bella.

My first stop on my mission to face my past was the very first foster home I had been sent to. I didn't remember it that well. I had been three at the time, and grief stricken over the loss of my parents. I had vague memories of a tired looking couple, and half a dozen jeering children's faces. In that house it hadn't been the adults who had made me miserable, but rather the other kids.

The neighbourhood was in a state of disrepair. It had probably been nice enough fifteen years ago when I had lived there, but time had not been nice to this house or its environs. Obviously the couple from my memory no longer lived here. The windows were boarded up, and the lawn hadn't been touched by a lawnmower in what looked like years.

"It's been abandoned for eight years now."

Startled, I turned away from the house's rotting fence to look at a young woman who stood at the next house's mailbox. She had tired blue eyes and was still wearing a worn pink bathrobe, which was tied tightly at the waist.

"I've lived here for five years, and no one's even looked at that place. The woman I bought my place from said that the couple who used to live there packed up and moved to Florida three years before I came. I wish I could afford to move to Florida." Her eyes turned distant and she turned her face upward, as if she could feel the Florida sun on her face. "But they're gone now, and that eyesore is condemned. They'll be tearing it down next Friday. What are you looking at it for, anyway?"

"I used to live there," I replied. "It was a long time ago."

"Well, you look like you've gone up in the world since then." The woman nodded at my clothes. They were the ones from the day Bella and I had left Forks. Clothes that Esme had bought for me. I supposed that they would seem pretty fancy in this neighbourhood. Esme only bought high end merchandise. "If I were you, I'd go back to wherever you're from and forget about this place. Anywhere has to be better than this."

The woman took her mail out of her mailbox and stuck it under her arm. She gave me a small wave and entered her house, closing the door firmly behind her.

I looked back at the other house longingly. I had hoped that I would be able to come here and find my closure and be able to return to Bella. I had only lived in two places in Chicago. This house, and one other that remembered _very_ well.

A group home. My first group home to be exact. It was where I had gotten my first taste of crime, and where my, _rather lengthy_, juvenile record had its humble beginnings.

With one last look at the decrepit house, I started my bike and rode towards the last place I really wanted to go.

-*-

The next building I stopped in front of was much larger than the first. This neighbourhood was much as I remembered it being all those years ago. The neighbourhood wasn't the best, but it was a step up from the one I had left. I felt almost sick as I looked at the white exterior of it. I remembered Bella telling me that coming back wouldn't fix things, and for the first time since leaving Forks I wondered if she wasn't right. Why was I putting myself through this? What did I hope to achieve?

I hadn't lived here since I was five. How was returning to a place I hadn't entered in thirteen years supposed to help me?

I had been so consumed with my thoughts that I hadn't realized I was walking towards the building until my hand was already on the doorknob. I paused and stared down at my hand. I pulled it away and instead pressed the bell next to the door. After a few moments of silence, I heard the sound of footsteps.

They came to a halt, and the door cracked open. A petite young woman with straight, pale blonde hair and large brown eyes peeked out at me. She seemed familiar, and I guess she must have recognized me as well, because she grinned and swung the door open, launching herself at me. I caught her, hugging her back and feeling slightly bewildered.

"If it isn't Edward Masen!" she said with a laugh. She released me and reached up to ruffle my hair. "I'd recognize this mop anywhere. Thirteen years, and it's still as crazy as it ever was." She stepped and back, still grinning at me. I knew my expression must have been rather alarmed and was worried she would expect me to know who she was, but she just laughed. "Of course you wouldn't remember me. You never remember the girls whose heart you break. I'm-"

"Kate," I cut her off, realizing now why she looked so familiar. She had grown into a lovely young woman, but the little girl I had once crushed on was very much apparent in her features. "I recognize you now."

"What are you doing here, Masen? When you left for Palatine, I figured I'd never see you again."

"It's Cullen now. I was adopted nine years ago. And I'm here… well, you remember how it was in this place." I shrugged helplessly. I hadn't seen Kate in thirteen years. If I couldn't bare my soul to Bella, then I definitely couldn't bare it to a girl who was a stranger.

Kate understood, however. She had been here, she had lived the life.

"You needed to come back and remember," she said softly. "I know the feeling. You come here so that you can prove to yourself that everything they said, every time they put you down, was all a lie. That you _are_ good enough, and that you _can_ amount to something."

"Yeah." I ran my hand through my hair. Kate stepped back into the building and I followed her in.

"I volunteer here now," she told me, leading me through a hallway. "I came back to visit about three months ago, and I ended up signing on as a summer volunteer." She gave me a shrug. "It'll look good when I apply for the social work program at NEIU, and it lets me help kids like… well, us."

Kate led me through a doorway and into a room filled with about two dozen kids aged three to sixteen. Kate entered the room, but I paused in the doorway. I could pick out about a half dozen boys who had bruises in various states of healing from the dark purple of a new bruise to the sickly yellow-green color of one almost healed. I watched Kate walk up to a boy of about five who had a black eye and a split lip. When he grinned at her, a missing front tooth was revealed, and I felt almost as if I had gone back in time. I had _been_ that boy at one time. Memories that were usually vague and blurry around the edges came rushing to my mind, and I could remember this place as if I had just been there the day before. I brought my knuckles up to my mouth and shut my eyes as tightly as possible, trying to block out the memories that were fighting for the forefront of my mind.

Coming here had been a bad idea. Bella was right. Coming back wasn't doing anything but reminding me of all the stupid, messed up things that had been done to me, and that I had done.

I didn't want these memories. I wanted Bella. I wanted her so bad that I had my cellphone out with her number dialled before I realized what I was planning on doing. I stared down at my phone, my thumb hovering over the call button. I wanted her, but I didn't want to expose her to this part of my life. This was my past, and with Bella I wanted to be firmly entrenched in the future.

But I had promised to tell her everything anyways…

"Are you okay?" I jumped when Kate laid her hand on my arm and asked me the question. Kate pulled her hand back, but continued to look at me with concern in her dark eyes. I shook my head and pressed the cancel button, putting the phone back in my pocket.

"I'm fine… I'm fine… I just…" I ran my hand through my hair yet again. It was a nervous habit of mine, one that Esme hated. She told me my hair was wild enough without me making it worse. "I think coming here was a bad idea."

"Follow me." Kate grasped my arm and pulled me from the room, leading me into a small, empty office. "Have you talked to anyone about it, Edward? I remember living here. Walter doesn't run this place anymore, but I remember that he was always heavy handed, and you were always a favourite target of his."

I sat in a chair and buried my face in my hands.

"It was never much of an issue. I got a second chance, I took the second chance, and I was happy. I was improving. All the stupid, illegal things were in the past. Then…" I trailed off.

Kate sat in the chair opposite mine.

"Then?" she prompted.

"I met a girl. Isabella Swan. She's beautiful, Kate. Smart, fun… just… amazing… And I did something stupid to get her attention. It didn't do anything except remind me of this place and the dozens of other places just like it, and it made me wonder if every person who told me I was failure wasn't right."

Kate leaned forward, crossing her arms over her leg.

"We all deal with that crap, Edward," she said softly. "We all deal with the identity crisis, and the low self-esteem… and we either make it or we don't. What happened to your Bella?"

"She's in Chicago with me," I admitted, and then found myself laying the whole story out for Kate. We covered everything from my first day at Forks to my leaving her at the motel with just a note that morning. When I finished, the first thing she did was hit me in the arm. Hard.

"Jackass!" she swore at me when I cursed and rubbed my arm, scowling at her. "You have the girl of your dreams in love with you and willing to travel across the freaking _country_ with you, and you _abandon_ her in your motel room so you can come to your crappy old group home and brood? I have to correct my earlier statement. 'Jackass' isn't enough. You're a stupid jackass!"

"You think I don't know that?" I snapped at her. "I'm perfectly aware that I should have talked to her, but what the hell do I say, Kate? This whole thing"—I waved my arm around the room—"I'm trying to do this so that I can be the man she deserves. I don't want to bring her into this."

"Like I said, you're a stupid jackass. Did it ever cross your mind that maybe, _just maybe_, she already thinks you're the man she deserves? If she's even half as amazing as you claim she is, then she's smart enough to know what she wants. This"—she motioned at me—"whole 'I have to do everything myself so she can love me' thing you have going on here, it's disrespectful of her. Look, Edward, I know we haven't spoken in thirteen years, but I'm going to give you some advice. Stop brooding over whether or not you deserve the girl and appreciate every second you have with her. The people we love aren't here forever, and you don't want to be one of those people who wonder 'what if?' at the end of the day."

"You sound as if you know a lot about that," I muttered. I knew I sounded petulant, but I had never liked getting lectured, and I liked it even less coming from someone who didn't even know me.

"I do." Kate's voice was cool and emotionless. "You remember my sister Irina, right? She died two years ago."

That had me sitting up in shock and staring at her.

"Kate… I'm so sorry," I responded quickly. "What… what happened?"

"We were moved to a different group home when were fourteen. It was even worse than this place, so we ran away." Kate's voice didn't change from that flat emotionless tone. "We got caught up in some bad shit, Edward. Drugs. Irina especially got hooked on cocaine. I was so busy getting high on weed and working at McDonalds that I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until they found her body. Cocaine is more expensive than marijuana. Irina ended up being beat to death by her pimp when she couldn't pay up." Kate's voice caught on the last word, and as if that were the catalyst to breaking through the emotionless wall that had surrounded her as she spoke, she buried her face in her hands and sobbed. I sat in my chair and stared at her in complete shock, unable to move or speak. Her words thundered through my head, and in that moment I realized exactly how lucky I was to have been taken in when I had been.

"I… Kate…"

"Don't." Kate held her hand up to me and shook her head. "Don't say anything, or tell me you're sorry, Edward. I know you're sorry, everyone always is, but that doesn't bring my sister back. It was the hardest reality check I ever had, but I checked myself into rehab for a year after that, and I've been clean ever since. It took my sister _dying_ to get me back on track, to get me some ambition. Don't let Bella leaving you, or something even worse, be your catalyst, Edward. Because it sucks, and you will never forgive yourself."

I thought about Bella sitting on our motel bed with a grin and a hand full of college pamphlets, telling me about how she believed in me. I thought about the way she backed my dream to become and doctor wholeheartedly, and I realized Kate was right. I couldn't let my fears and insecurities pull me down to the point where I lost her. If I didn't believe I was good enough for Bella, then I never would be. I had to show her that her belief in me was well-placed, and that meant telling her _everything_, and then moving forward with no insecurities between us.

I stood up and pulled Kate into my arms, hugging her tightly. She wrapped her arms around me and clung to me like a lifeline, and I let her finish sobbing out her grief over her sister.

"Thanks," she whispered when she was done. "I still break down like that every now and then, sorry you had to be victim to it this time."

"It's fine." I waved my hand. "I… where was Irina buried?"

Kate murmured the name of a cemetery, and told me how to get there.

"I finally managed to save up enough to put a gravestone there six months ago." She stepped back and wiped away her tears. "It was nice seeing you, Edward, but you'll excuse me if I say I hope we never have to meet like this again."

"You're excused," I agreed with a grin, kissing her on the cheek. "Thank-you, Kate." I turned for the door, but then paused. "That little boy, the one with the missing tooth? Tell him when he fights the older boys, that he needs to go for the knees. If he can get them there, they'll go down like light weights."

"I'm not going to help Trevor learn to fight, Edward." Kate grinned weekly and rolled her eyes.

"Then tell him that it won't always be like this. That there's hope for all of us, no matter how crappy life may seem right now."

"I'll tell him," Kate promised.

I nodded, and then I walked out of the room and away from the group home, ready to face Bella, and hoping that I hadn't screwed everything up with my insecurities and issues.

-*-

"My parents died when I was three. I was put into a foster home off the bat, where I stayed for a year. It wasn't bad there. I mean, it wasn't exactly a warm and loving home, but it was a lot better than other places, but the couple already had too many kids. As the newest, it was me that got sent to the group home. That's where the shitty stuff started."

Bella and I sat on the grass in front of Irina's grave. There was a good foot of space between us, and I knew that Bella wasn't happy with me, but she was listening. That was probably more than I deserved. I looked at her to see her reaction, but she was just watching me with an impassive expression so I continued.

"The man who ran the group home, Walter, thought nothing of keeping us in line with a backhand, and I was a particularly difficult kid to work with. I wanted my parents, so I kept on acting out, thinking that if I was bad enough, then I'd get sent back to them. I was four, I didn't really comprehend that death meant they were never coming back. It was also there that I began my experience with juvenile delinquency. It started small, just getting into fights and spray painting walls. Then I got caught up with a group of older boys who were into theft."

"You stole." Bella's voice was flat. "Did you end up in Juvie? I never heard that about you."

"No. I was good at it, and I didn't get caught for over a year. When I did, I was let off because I was a cute little five year old, but I got sent away from Chicago. I got sent to another home, this one in Palatine." I leaned back on my arms and looked at Bella. "I stole a lot Bella, but I rarely got caught. In my last home, I got caught up with a group that ended up shoving around a kid and taking his money. I suppose you could say I got caught up with a bit of a gang, or as much of a gang as a nine year old can be a part of. The kid we pushed around, it turns out his brother was quarterback of the local high school football team. I was the new boy in my group, so I was used as a scapegoat. I got beat up pretty bad, and that's when I met Carlisle. He was my doctor. I was going to be headed for Juvie, but Carlisle stepped in for me. He and Esme were going to be moving soon, so he said he'd adopt me and take me away. The local police didn't care what happened to me as long as I wouldn't be trouble for them anymore, so they let me go with Carlisle and Esme instead. I was offered a second chance, and I had a clean record until Forks."

"What happened when you got to Forks?" Bella asked, her voice soft.

"I met this girl, and for the first time I found myself truly attracted to someone of the opposite sex, but she was with another guy. I was an idiot, Bella, but I thought that being the bad boy would make you want me."

"That is idiotic," she agreed. "I guess you haven't changed much since we were freshmen. You're still an idiot."

"I deserve that, I suppose," I muttered.

"You do, and you'll be hearing more yet. What happened to her?" She motioned at Irina's grave.

"She left the home, ended up on the streets as a drug-addicted prostitute when she was fourteen and got killed by her pimp. Her sister is clean and going to university now. Kate is the one who told me about Irina. It was her wake up call." I got to my knees so that I could move closer to Bella. "I know I was a jackass this morning, Bella, but please tell me I didn't screw up to the point of no return… because I really don't want losing you to end up being my wake up call."

Bella stared ahead at Irina's grave for a long moment, then reached out and clutched my hand tightly in hers.

"I love you, you asshole," she mumbled, standing and pulling me up with her. "You won't get rid of me that easily, and I don't care what stupid stuff you did when you were nine. What I care about is what you do now, and if you_ ever_ leave me with just a one line note _ever_ again, not only will I return to Forks without you, but I'll do it on _your_ bike while you're stuck in a motel room with no clothes. Am I clear?"

"As crystal," I replied immediately. Then I bent down and pressed my lips against hers, burying my hands into her hair and holding her tightly against me. She wrapped her arms around me and returned the kiss with the same passion. We finally broke away from the kiss after several moments, panting.

"It's time I started looking ahead," I said after I had caught my breath. "Tomorrow, what do you say to the two of us going and looking at some schools? I'm not that interested in coming back to Chicago, but it's a start."

"As long as we make Ithaca a stop, I'll follow wherever you lead… unless it's somewhere painful. I don't particularly like pain."

I laughed at bent down to kiss my girl again. Then, wrapping my arm around her waist I walked by her side to the bike. I gave one last look at Irina's grave, then promised myself that would be the last time I looked back.

It was time to move forward.

_**A/N2: The chapter title came from Miranda Lambert's song of the same name. It's a really good song. I'm sorry I didn't get around to Bella's torture of our dear Edward, but it just seemed improper after some of the stuff that went on. Plus, this chapter almost kicked my ass, and I felt it was best to end it hear. I might have done irreparable damage to my laptop otherwise. **_

_**On a brighter note, I now have a blog. It's lynyrdplace (dot) blogspot (dot) com**_

_**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and alerted this story. And, as always, thanks to RachelleMyBell who corrects my silly mistakes. See you all next update!**_


	23. Voodoo

_**A/N: I'M NOT DEAD! Sadly, real life has been a real bitch lately, which has made it difficult for me to find the time to write. Things are starting to get back to normal, though, so I managed to finish this up. Please enjoy:**_

**Twenty-Three. Voodoo**

It had been an afternoon of revelations. Of all the possible scenarios that had run through my head when I had seen Edward waiting at Alice's, a trip to the cemetery had never factored in. There was still a part of me that was angry at Edward for abandoning me like he had, and we _would_ be talking more about that, but the larger part of me was relieved that he had finally trusted me. His revelations about his troubled past hadn't changed my feelings in any way, except to perhaps make them stronger. His strength amazed me. That he could have gone through so much and manage to come out the other side as the amazing person he was now was impressive.

"I missed you today," he murmured, resting his cheek against the top of my head and wrapping his arm around my waist as we made our way into the motel.

"I missed you, too," I replied. "Next time you decide to take off without me, drop me a couple of texts throughout the day, won't you?"

Edward didn't reply, choosing instead to press a kiss into my hair.

We made it into our room and Edward flopped backwards onto the bed, his expression and movements weary. I leaned up against the wall and watched him run his hands over his face and into his hair, making it even wilder than usual.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked softly. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at me. After a moment I felt a blush rise in my cheeks.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You are so beautiful," he replied, sitting up. "I don't know if I've ever told you that before, but you really are."

I felt the blush heat even more and I looked down, a small smile crossing my lips. I looked at him from under my lashes, and he continued to watch me steadily, the soft look I loved in his eyes. I straightened from my position against the wall and climbed onto the bed, crawling until I could reach him and tug him down so that we laid side by side, facing each other.

"I haven't completely forgiven you," I told him before I threaded my fingers into his hair so I could tug his head to mine for a kiss. It was quick, little more than a brush of our lips, and when it was done he pulled back to rest his forehead against mine.

"So, what will I have to do to get your forgiveness?" He asked, his crooked grin settling onto his lips.

"I can think of a few things," I replied, feeling wicked suddenly. I pushed him onto his back and moved so that I was straddling his hips. I bent down so that my face rested inches above his and my hair tumbled over my shoulders to fall around us like a curtain. "Can you guess what those things might be?"

"Hmmm…" Edward hummed, reaching up to twine my hair around one of his hands. There was a spark in his eyes, and I recognized the return of the light-hearted, somewhat goofy Edward I had begun this trip with. I had missed that Edward these past few days. "I can think of a few guesses. Maybe this?" He pulled me down, into a deep kiss. I moaned lowly, and Edward took the opportunity to explore my mouth with his tongue, which elicited another moan. He buried one hand in my hair, while his other gripped my hip to help me keep my balance. I rested my weight on the arm with the cast and ran the fingers of my other hand into his hair, greatly enjoying being thoroughly kissed.

"There are no more secrets to tell me?" I asked him when we finally broke apart. We were both gasping for breath, but I wanted to make sure that there were no more little tidbits that would endanger our relationship.

"None. My past is an open book to you now. More kissing." Edward pulled me down to kiss the breath I had just caught out of me once more. When we finally broke apart, I straightened my back so that I loomed over him.

"So, where do we go from here?" I asked, reaching out to try and straighten the mess that was Edward's hair. It was a futile effort, but I enjoyed the silken feel of his hair so I made the attempt anyways.

"Ahead," Edward replied firmly. "From here we move ahead. No more looking back. I was an idiot to let my past define me. There are so many other things that do that, like this"—he pulled me down into another kiss—"us. That's the type of thing I should let define me. You are my world, Isabella Swan."

"You're becoming my world, too," I admitted. "That scares me sometimes."

"Why?" Edward asked, reaching up and brushing my hair behind my ear.

"I've never given so much of myself to a person before, Edward. With Mike, even with my parents, I've always held something back. You more than anyone else in this world have the ability to hurt me. That terrifies me."

Edward sat up, moving me so that my legs were wrapped around his hips. My hands held his shoulders so I could keep my balance, as his hands came up to cup my face.

"I adore you, Isabella Marie Swan, and I swear that I will do everything I can to make you happy for as long as you'll have me." His eyes were completely serious as he spoke. I felt tears well in my own eyes, the emotional roller coaster that the day had been finally getting to me. Edward pulled my face down gently and kissed the tears that escaped away. "I'm sorry that I worried you."

"I get it," I whispered. "Really, I do. I understand that you needed to do this alone, but I was still so worried, Edward. You didn't tell me where you were going, just that you would be back. Rose and Alice tried to keep me distracted, but I still worried."

"I know, sweetheart, and I'm so sorry for that. I'll keep apologizing for eternity if that will make it better."

I shook my head furiously.

"I don't want that, Edward. I just… hold me for a while, okay? Hold me and let me be an emotional wuss, and that will be enough." I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his neck, breathing in the essence that was Edward.

"I think you're being too easy on me," he said as I felt him press a kiss into my hair "But if that's all you need, then lie down with me."

Edward and I moved so that I was lying on my side with Edward spooning me from behind, his arms wrapped securely around me. He buried his face in my hair, and I closed my eyes, just enjoying the closeness. I didn't keep track of how long we lay there, just existing, but it was long enough for me to succumb to the darkness of sleep.

I slept better than I had in my entire life.

I was having one of the hottest dreams I'd ever experienced. Edward was kissing his way up and down my neck, stopping every now and then to nip and suck at a particularly sensitive spot, while his fingers slid down the length of my body, teasing my skin as they drifted down, skipping over the part that was most desperate for him to dance across the rest of my sensitive skin. I moaned and brought my hands up to wrap in his hair. Hair that felt very real.

"Awake, love?" Edward murmured, his voice muffled due to his refusal to lift his lips form my skin.

"I am now," I gasped, biting back a moan as Edward nipped at the sensitive area behind my ear.

"Wonderful," Edward purred in reply. His fingers, which had been tracing circles on my thigh, moved up to slide across my core through my panties. I gasped again, arching my back against his hand in an attempt to prolong the contact. Edward gave a low, masculine chuckle of appreciation at my actions and pressed his lips against mine, teasing my lips with his tongue until I separated them on a sigh to grant him access. He took immediate and passionate advantage of that access, removing his hand from my pyjama pants so he could wrap both it and his other hand up in my hair.

"I love your hair," he groaned when we separated. "If you'd let me, I could spend eternity just wrapped up in it."

"I was thinking about getting it cut," I admitted, trying to pull him back down for another kiss.

"Never," Edward replied, shaking his head. "It would be blasphemous to cut your hair."

I opened my mouth to promise I wouldn't, but Edward didn't allow me to speak. He took quick advantage of my opened mouth to plunder it once more. For the first time, I could understand what the women in the trashy novels that were my dirty little secret, were saying when they claimed that the hero of the tale was ravaging them.

I felt thoroughly ravaged, and we hadn't even gotten to the really good stuff.

Edward ran his hands up the sides of my ribs, dragging my shirt up with the motion. I raised my arms above my head and lifted my back from the bed so he could remove the cloth from my body. He tossed the shirt aside absently, his eyes already glued to the bare skin he had revealed. He leaned down to nuzzle against my breast. He hadn't shaved in a few days, and his scruff scraped against the sensitive skin, sending a shiver down my spine. He moved his head for better access to my breast, his scruff grazing a different patch of skin.

This time I giggled.

Edward paused in his ministrations to look up at me with a raised brow. I felt a flush reach my cheeks and I wanted to cover my face in mortification. I had hoped to keep my extreme ticklishness a secret. I had always found it to be an embarrassing weakness, and now Edward knew it.

Watching me curiously, Edward danced his fingers up and down my side, purposely tickling along the length of my body. I began to giggle harder, writhing around in an attempt to escape his evil fingers. Edward stopped his tickling and grinned widely at me.

"So, Miss Swan, when were you planning to tell me about this tasty little secret?" Edward asked, smirking at me. "Bella Swan ticklish. It could definitely have it's uses."

"Don't you dare think about using that against me, Edward Cullen!" I glared at him. "I swear that if you do, I'll make you regret it."

"Oh? And how do you expect to do that? It's difficult to get revenge when you're helpless."

With a wicked grin, he increased his efforts to make me helpless with giggles. I rolled back and forth, trying to escape him. He hit a particularly sensitive spot, which made me snort loudly. Turning red with embarrassment, I tried to push myself up and out of his arms. Instead, my forehead hit his. Hard.

Edward cursed and grabbed his forehead and reeled back, tumbling off the bed. I grabbed mine as well, feeling a sharp pain radiate from the point of contact.

"Ouch," was all I could helplessly murmur minutes later, once the pain had subsided.

"I guess tickling was a bad idea after all," Edward said dryly, pulling himself up to sit on the side of the bed. "I think I need an Advil. Do you want an Advil?"

"I have some in my purse," I responded. "It's over by the bags. Can you bring me a couple?"

"Sure."

I flopped back on the bed and shut my eyes, a dull ache still emanating in my skull and waited for Edward to bring me my pills. When, after several minutes, he still hadn't returned I sat up and looked towards my purse. Edward was kneeling next to it and the bags holding my purchases. He was completely still, and for a moment I wondered if he was even breathing. In front of him was the bag from the sex shop, and in his hands was a scrap of white material.

The naughty nurse outfit.

Oh crap.

"Ummm…."

Edward's eyes shot to me as I hummed uncertainly. I couldn't say that I had never been a situation this awkward before; I had been confronted by my father who had caught my boyfriend buying condoms and lubricant, after all. This was still a new kind of situation for me, though, and I wasn't entirely sure how to react to my boyfriend discovering the naughty costume that had been bought for the use of sexually torturing him.

Not that he knew, or would ever know, why Alice and Rose had forced me to purchase it.

"This is an interesting… _outfit_," Edward stated, finding his voice.

Edward may have found his voice, but I hadn't yet. I sat on the bed completely mute, just staring at him and running various scenarios through my mind trying to determine the best one to use in this situation.

I came up blank.

The shy side of me with self-esteem issues told me to bury myself under the blankets of the bed and hide away until this situation disappeared. My inner vixen, who sounded like a mix of Rosalie and Alice, told me to take this golden opportunity and, quite literally, seduce Edward out of his pants. Torn between the two sides, I just sat dumbly on the bed staring at Edward, who was alternating contemplative glances between me and the nurse outfit.

"You know, I wouldn't be averse to playing doctor," he told me silkily. "I'm sure it would be good practice for my future."

Edward's words conjured an image in my mind of him in scrub pants and a stethoscope and nothing else. With that fantasy in my mind, the vixen beat Shy Bella to a pulp and took over control of my actions.

"Playing doctor has some potential," I agreed, sauntering towards him in what I hoped was a seductive manner. By the way his eyes glued to my hips, I assumed I had been successful. "But there are so many other fun things we could play with."

Making sure Edward was still watching me, I bent down slowly to lift up the sex store bag. Standing straight once more, I made to spin on my heel towards the bed once more. Instead of the smooth move it was meant to be, I stumbled over nothing and, waving my arms wildly, tumbled face first towards the floor.

I never made it to the floor, instead coming to a halt just in time thanks to the support of Edward's strong arms.

"Um… that didn't work quite the way I wanted it to," I admitted sheepishly as Edward straightened me, not letting go of my waist.

"Funny"—he grinned down at me—"I was just thinking that this was working out perfectly."

In one fluid move that made me feel even clumsier than my earlier balancing act had, Edward swept me into his arms bridal style, cradling me into the delicious warmth of his chest. Our naked chests pressed tightly together and I felt my nipples pebble at the sensation.

"Why hello," Edward said, grinning down at where our skin was pressed together. "I guess you're happy to see me."

I felt a flush rise into my cheeks, but Edward pressed his lips against mine and kissed me until all embarrassment was forgotten. All that remained was the two of us and the things he made me feel.

There was no room for embarrassment in this, I realized. There was no need for it. Edward would accept me and all the things that came with me, good and bad. I wasn't going to suddenly stop blushing; the action was too ingrained into my character. I just realized that I didn't need to feel embarrassment because I was naked in front of him, or because I fell in front of him. I would always fall; it was one of the pit falls of being clumsy. I also hoped that he would be seeing me naked in the future. A lot.

And I needed to stop feeling embarrassment over things that couldn't, or wouldn't, change.

As I came to my conclusions, Edward set me down on the bed and loomed above me, his weight held by his arms. For a moment we rested in that position, just staring at each other. I released the bag I still held and raised my arms to wrap them around his neck, pulling him down towards me. Edward allowed me to pull him into a kiss. I nibbled on his lower lip softly, and Edward let out a slight gasp at the sensation. I grinned against his lips at having found a new, sensitive spot to have fun with.

"Alice and Rose were determined that I should torture and tease you until you were begging for mercy," I told him once we broke apart. I held up the bag and there was a clinking sound as some of the massage oils bumped each other. "The contents of this were supposed to be my tools for that torture."

"Torture?" Edward's voice was choked. "I'm not sure if that sounds terrifying or… appealing."

"It sounded rather appealing to me at the time, and I still think I might like to have my fun some night, but tonight…" I tossed the bag softly to the floor and rolled us so I was straddling his waist. "Tonight I'm just going to love you." I ducked my head down nibble along his sharp jaw line. He turned his head to grant me better access and brought his hands up to hold my waist.

"That sounds appealing as well," Edward agreed.

I grinned against his skin and gave his neck a nip, eliciting a groan from him. I continued to press kisses down the length of his hard body until I came to his boxers, which were tenting impressively. I looked up the length of his body and, with the vixen still in charge, took the waist of the boxers in my teeth and began to drag them down. Edward lifted his hips and, once the boxers had cleared his erection, I used my hands to pull them off completely. I reached out to touch him, but Edward grasped my hand carefully in his own and guided me up his body, until I was lying on top of him, our skin pressed flush together from feet to shoulders.

"I meant what I said earlier, Bella. I want to make you happy for the rest of our lives. You said that you were scared that I have so much power over you, but you're not the only one. This, us, it's been intense, and _fast_. It terrifies me that you've become so much to me in so short of a time, but I'm not going to let that fear stop me from embracing it."

I looked at him quizzically.

"That's… good?" I was unsure what point he was trying to make, so my answer came out more as a question than as an actual answer. Edward noticed and chuckled.

"Yeah, that's good," he agreed softly, holding me tightly against him. "And you? Are you going to flip fear the bird and embrace this."

"Edward, you can be insecure about school, and about your past, but don't ever be insecure about me. It terrifies me that I've given you the ability to hurt me so badly, but I'm not going to suddenly flee because of that fear. This whole thing between us has been a whirlwind, but I don't think it could have happened any other way between us. Once it began… well, there's no going back for me, Edward. _You are my end game_." I held his face in my palms and said the last five words slowly and with great emphasis, wanting to put an end to any doubts he may have about me.

"I _am_ a little insecure," Edward admitted with a sheepish grin. "It's part of who I am, so I'll have to beg you to have patience with me. I still don't feel that I deserve you, so I worry and create all sorts of doubts."

"We'll work on it," I replied with a grin. "By the time we get back to Forks, you'll be so positive of us that nothing will be able to make you doubt."

Edward looked up at me with an unreadable expression darkening his eyes. He brought one hand up and pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. There was something almost painfully tender in the way he looked at me, and an almost silent yearning that I couldn't understand.

"If anyone can get rid of my doubts, it will be you," he agreed solemnly, a small smile quirking his lips.

"Are you okay?" I asked him softly. "Your mood seems a little… odd."

"You're with me. I'm perfect."

"That's incredibly cheesy." I grinned at him and his smile grew in reply.

"I know, but you love me, cheese and all, right?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but Edward stopped me by pressing his lips against mine. Kissing me, he flipped us over so that he was on top. Breaking away from my lips, he moved down my body so he could remove the underwear I was wearing, leaving me as naked as he was.

"The first time we did this, you didn't finish." Edward pressed kisses to my thighs in between his words. "The second time was ruined by me being an ass the next morning. Tonight, though, I'm going to make it perfect. And then I'm going to make you scream."

Edward's lips made their way to my clit, and, as I felt my breath catch on a moan at the pleasure, I was pretty sure that his words were more than just a boast.

By the end of the night, not only had I gone hoarse from moaning, panting, and, as he had promised, screaming, but I also felt that I had become irrevocably tied to Edward.

I had never been a believer in soul mates. My life was proof that most promises of forever didn't last, but as I held a sleeping Edward in my arms, running my fingers through his hair, I felt that maybe, just maybe, I could become a believer.

_**A/N: This should be the end of the more serious chapters (for now at least). Starting next chapter, we shall get back to the humour and crazy times that have made up the story so far. Musical inspiration was "Voodoo" by Alexz Johnson, which is a perfect song to listen to when you're writing stuff of the romantic type. I highly suggest youtubing it, because Alexz is amazing and so is the song.**_

_**I'm not sure when the next update will come, but it shouldn't take another five weeks. Hopefully within the next two. It's a long weekend coming up, so maybe I'll be able to get quite a bit done. Have a good day!**_


	24. Let's Talk About Love

_**A.N: I'm not dead! I know I said that I'd update back in May… yeah, that didn't happen. Sorry about that one gang. I hope that I still have some readers left, so without further ado here is:**_

**Twenty-Four. Let's Talk About Love**

I had never been a gambler, and by the end of the first day in Jacksonville, I knew why.

After one last hurrah with Jasper, Alice, Rose, and Emmett, Edward and I had hit the road again, making short stops at the University of Chicago and several other Universities and Community Colleges along the way. Edward had even gone so far as to apply to a few of the schools, though I could tell he wasn't really counting on being accepted for the fall.

We had taken our time travelling across Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Georgia. The most memorable stop had been in Nashville, Tennessee, when we'd stopped to see the Grand Ol' Opry and the Country Hall of Fame. Edward, who was not a country music fan, had spent most of the stop, which had been my idea, mocking everything about the places, especially the Opry.

Where he had said some stuff in front of Shane Yellowbird.

Who was a country singer about to experience his first time on the Opry stage.

It had been mortifying at the time, though I found it absolutely hilarious now. We were lucky that Shane found Edward's comments humorous rather than insulting.

The rest of the trip from Nashville had gone smoothly. We had spent three days leisurely driving the highway, and three nights getting to know each other in every intimate way (and position) known to man. Edward was determined to make his way through the Kama Sutra, and I was too amused by his boyish enthusiasm for the endeavour to tell him no.

Then we reached Jacksonville, and I realized that the happy little pink bubble that I had surrounded myself with was going to have to burst. And indeed it did, as soon as my mother saw who it was that had pulled up to her house on a motorcycle. This visit had been a matter of great debate between Edward and me. I had wanted to skip over Florida all together, certain that any visit with my mother would only end in disaster at this point in our relationship. Edward had countered by giving me big lonely eyes and asking if I were ashamed of him. I knew I had been played, but he had looked so dejected and I couldn't resist giving into him on this matter.

I was still trying to decide if I wanted to be angry with him or not.

"Get ready for the interrogation," I murmured to Edward as I got off the motorcycle, at almost the exact moment that Renee opened the door and came rushing out to greet us.

"Bella!" she cried happily. "You should have called to let us know you were coming. I would have gotten your room ready for you." Her expression sobered slightly as she looked over my shoulder and looked at Edward. "You must be Edward. Thank-you for brining Bella home."

I had expected this visit to be awkward, and to burst my pretty pink bubble, but up until that moment I hadn't realized exactly how big of a disaster we were walking into. Renee thought that I was here to stay, and that Edward would be on his merry way.

Hell, no.

"Hi, Mom," I said, grasping her arm and giving here what was supposed to be grin, though I had a feeling that it looked more like I was gritting my teeth. "We decided to expand our trip a bit so that Jacksonville was included so you could meet Edward, my _boyfriend_." I looked straight into Renee's eyes and added in an undertone, "He's important, so please behave."

"You make it sound like I'm going to attack the poor boy." Renee patted me on my cheek. "Don't worry Bella, I'm sure I won't scare him away."

She pulled away from me and headed for Edward, and I gave a mental groan as I realized what a colossus mistake this stop may end up being.

After all, she had said that she was sure that she wouldn't scare him away, not that she wouldn't try.

**GLH**

"So, Edward, what are your plans for the fall? Bella is going to Cornell."

I scowled at my plate, wanting nothing more than to wipe the too sweet expression of Renee's face. Who was she to talk about my going to Cornell when the only reason this interrogation hadn't occurred earlier was because she had been giving me a lecture on how I had already made a commitment to Seattle and Mike and I should follow through with them. AKA: she didn't like Edward, or rather, the picture Charlie had painted of him, and would rather I hook back up with a cheating douche bag than stay with him. I wanted to know what alien had taken over Renee's body, because she was in no way the flighty woman whom I normally dealt with.

"I don't know what my future plans are, ma'am. I was a little late in applying to schools, so I may take the year off and apply again next year."

"Oh… so you haven't been accepted then. Well, I'm sure you'll find something to do in Forks." Renee didn't say 'and far away from my daughter,' at the end, but I could hear the insinuation and was unsurprised by it. It was only the realization that Cornell was much further from Edward than UW that had made Renee back off my case about my change in schools. I turned my scowl from my plate to Renee at her words, pissed off because I wasn't the only one who had heard her insinuation. I could tell by the way Edward looked at his plate that he obviously had as well.

"So, Phil," I spat out through clenched teeth, still giving my mother the evil eye. "How is your team doing this year?"

Phil looked startled to be addressed, obviously having resigned himself to staying in the background during my mother's anti-Edward crusade. Luckily for me, he was willing enough to play along with my subject change.

"Pretty good. As long as we don't fall apart in the next few games, we're a shoe-in for play-offs. Our record is already better than last year's, and we picked up a couple of new guys who were sent down from the majors that coach thinks will help our chances."

"That's great!" I enthused, even though I could really care less about baseball. "If you're in my area next season you'll have to let me know and I'll come watch."

The looks on everyone's faces let me know that I'd lain it on a little too thick, Edward looking at me with a raised brow, Phil with confusion, and my mother with an unimpressed look that told me that my subject change had been a total fail. Plastering a fake smile on my face, I grabbed mine and Edward's plates and stood.

"Well, Mom, I guess it's time to do the dishes. Let's go."

"Oh, but I was just getting to know Ed-"

"Kitchen, now!" I practically barked. Renee pouted, but thankfully lapsed into silence and followed me. The best way to deal with Renee was to be stern, something that neither Phil nor my father had ever figured out.

Once we were in the kitchen, I turned on her angrily.

"What the hell is going on? You never once in the years I was dating Mike picked at him like you are Edward, and you had plenty of opportunities in the _seven_ times you met him!"

"That's because you were never serious about Mike!" Renee snapped back. "He was perfectly nice, but I always knew he would quickly become a thing of the past after University. This boy, though, this one is dangerous. I refuse to let you throw away your future on some male!"

"What?" I asked, completely confused.

"I know how this story goes, Bella. You fall in love, get pregnant, then there will be a shot gun wedding and you'll regret it all! You can't stay in Forks, Bella. It wasn't even enough for me, and I never had a fraction of your potential. Edward may seem worth it now, but he won't be in the long run."

I sat on a barstool at the kitchen counter, feeling utterly confused. What on Earth had made Renee think I would give up my future for any boy, even Edward?

I couldn't help it, I had to giggle. Once it began, I couldn't stop it. Renee watched me from the sink, bemused.

"I'm glad I could amuse you," she said sulkily. "Care to share what you find so humorous?"

"I… never even… considered not going… to school!" I managed to gasp out.

"Oh…" Renee pursed her lips. "Not once?"

I shook my head, breathing deeply to calm myself.

"I have a plan, Mom," I said, once I had calmed down enough to speak without gasping. "I may manipulate it to accommodate Edward, but I'm not going to give up on all my dreams, and he doesn't expect me to." I gave a small smile. "This stays between the two of us, but I think he finds the fact that I'm smart kinda hot."

"What if you get pregnant, or he proposes?" Renee asked, voicing the biggest fears of all love-struck teenagers' parents.

I began to choke on my own spit in shock. Not at the mention of pregnancy, of course. Edward and I had already discussed that particular danger, and I had even made a stop at a clinic in Chicago to get my wrist looked at and a prescription for birth control, which I had been taking religiously since. No, it was the mention of marriage that shocked me. Edward and I had been together for less than two weeks, and while I had indulged in day dream so of the future once or twice (a day), marriage had never factored into them.

Marriage had never been a huge consideration of mine, period. After all, my parents' example hadn't exactly been a good one, and when most girls had been playing wedding, I'd been playing divorce.

"Mom, where do you get these things from?" I asked incredulously. "First I'm staying in Forks, and now I'm pregnant and getting _married_? It's utterly absurd!" I began to giggle again.

Renee stared at me, looking decidedly unamused.

"Laugh it up, Isabella, but it's been known to happen before."

She was talking about herself, I knew. That was really what was at the bottom of this whole situation; Renee's fear that I would become her. Both my parents loved me, but I was under no illusions that I had been a planned baby. People just didn't get married right out of high school, not unless it was a shot gun wedding.

"Look, Mom…" I hesitated, trying to figure out the best way to tell her that I wasn't her without hurting her feelings. I finally decided that laying out the facts of my and Edward's relationship was the best way to go. "I saw a doctor two days ago about this"—I motioned at my cast—"and also got him to give me a birth control prescription. Beyond that we use spermicide and condoms religiously. Unless Edward has super sperm and I have the fertility of a rabbit, pregnancy is _not_ happening. As for marriage, we haven't discussed it, but I'm not really into the whole ceremony thing, so… I don't think we'll ever get married. No worries."

There was a cough behind me and I closed my eyes at the sound.

There was a reason I wasn't a gambler. If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have absolutely no luck at all. Take the current situation, for example.

Only someone with incredibly _bad_ luck would get caught talking about her sex life with her mother by her _boyfriend_.

_**A.N2: I know it wasn't overly long, but on the bright side chapter 25 is well on its way towards being done, so there shouldn't be another six month 'where the hell is she?' Musical inspiration comes from the lovely Jessie Farrell. She has gorgeous hair. Seriously, I would kill to have hair like hers.**_

_**In other news, I have made an entry in the "I'm With the Band" contest. I can't tell you which entry is mine, but I can tell you to go and read and vote for your favourite. You can find the entries here: www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net /u / 2502073 / WPcontests. Voting is open until November 15.**_

_**You should also check out my profile, as I'm going to be putting up a poll for what story I'll be writing after this and "Dancing with the Devil's Daughter" are complete. For anyone who's curious, the winner of my poll "who would win in a fight between a taco and a grilled cheese" was the taco. **_


	25. Mine

_**A.N: Again it's short, but at least it's not six months after 24. That's something, right? Thanks as always to RachelleMyBell for beta-ing this. Now, here we go:**_

**Twenty-Five. Mine**

**EPOV**

Carlisle had married Esme almost right out of high school. He'd said that when you knew, you knew, and he just hadn't seen the point in waiting.

I had known it was right with Bella the second she'd gotten on the bike behind me. It had felt rightexactly, like coming home, when her arms had wrapped around my waist. I had just been waiting for Bella to catch up to me before we carried on with the rest of our lives. After her declarations of love, and the way she had stood by me so determinedly despite my behaviour in Chicago, I had thought she was almost there. Until I stood in her mother's kitchen doorway and heard those words.

"I don't think we'll ever get married. No worries."

Now, I realize that I have a tendency to overreact. God knows my actions in the previous two odd weeks had taught me _that_. Still, Bella's words were pretty hard to misinterpret, and so I felt my heart breaking.

Bella claimed to love me, but she didn't foresee a life with me. I felt a tightness in my chest and a prickling in my eyes, and coughed, trying to push back my emotions. Bella's back was to me, but I saw it stiffen at the sound.

"Here, let me take that from you, Edward," Renee said, coming towards me with her hands outstretched. I stared at her in confusion before remembering that I had to come into the kitchen with a casserole dish they had forgotten.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks," I replied absently, letting Renee take the dish. My eyes had already returned to Bella's back and I wished, not for the first time, that I could read her mind.

I saw Renee looking between the two of us from my peripheral vision, ands she began to ease toward the kitchen door, sensing the tension that now permeated the kitchen.

"I think I'll let the two of you clean up, if you don't mind," she said. Neither of us replied, so she opened the door. "Phil and I will just be out here. In the dining room. Within hearing distance."

Renee made a hasty retreat after delivering the warning that she would still be keeping an eye on us. Once the door had closed, I slowly walked up to Bella and sat on the bar stool next to hers. Her head was bent towards the counter top, her hair falling down to hide her face.

"Where do we go from here?" I asked her, the inches between us seeming more like miles.

"Edward, my boyfriend just walked in on me talking to my mother about our sex life. I need a moment to… what do you mean '"_where do we go from here?'"_ I realize the situation is mortifying, but it's hardly something to break up over." Bella looked up at me, her face still bright red from embarrassment and her eyes confused.

I imagine my eyes mirrored her confusion. Was "married" a code word for sex between Bella and her mother? If it was, why had Bella lied about it? Surely Renee was intelligent enough to realize Bella and I had been "married" several times by now.

"I am… confused," I admitted. "I wanted to know where we go now that I know you don't see a future for the two of us, but apparently when you say "married" you actually mean "_sex_.""

"Uh… no. Married is married and sex is… didn't you hear me telling Renee about the… er… safety measures we've been taking?" Bella's expression began as confused, but it turned to outrage as everything I'd said began to compute. "And what do you mean I "don't see a future for the two of us"? Do you think I'd be putting so much effort into us if I thought we were going nowhere? You got a lot of- mmph!"

I muffled her rant by slanting my mouth over hers and burying my fingers in her hair. For a moment, I thought she might push me away, but then her lips softened beneath mine and her arms went around my neck to pull me closer.

We kept ourselves busy in this manner for several moments before she finally broke away and pushed me to arms length.

"Okay," she gasped. "Tthat was nice… really nice, but before you continue kissing my brains to much, we have to clear some stuff up. Why did you think I thought we had no future?"

"I'd rather keep kissing," I replied, trying to pull her close again. She refused to budge, her expression un-amused. I sighed in resignation. Sometimes communication sucked. "You said you didn't see us getting married."

"And I don't," Bella agreed. "So?"

She said it so matter of factly, as if it were obvious, that I wanted to scream.

"You see a future for us, but not marriage. So, what? I'll be your male mistress?" I asked, turning from her to stalk across the kitchen, running my fingers through my hair. "Honestly, Bella, sometimes I don't...- you're actually considering it! I can't believe you're actually considering it!"

When I turned back to Bella, she'd had a contemplative expression on her face as she watched me, which morphed into a sheepish one.

"I wasn't _really_ considering it," she replied. "But it was an interesting idea, coming home to the kids and little man after a long day at work. I bet you could pull off one of those frilly white aprons."

I felt my heart skip a beat at the mention of children, and my ire slowly began to fade.

"Kids?" I repeated slowly, making sure I hadn't heard her wrong.

"Well, obviously not in the near future. I want to get through school first, but yeah, I think I might want kids someday. Don't you?" She blinked at me, her puzzled expression so cute I couldn't resist walking up to her and kissing the tip of her nose.

"I would love kids… after the wedding. Why don't you want to get married?"

"We're eighteen, Edward. I hardly think we're mentally prepared for marriage so why are we even- mmph!" This time, she did push me away when I kissed her. "I like your kisses, but stop doing that!"

"Stop trying to change the subject. You're willing to talk kids, but you're scared by the thought of marriage. Why?"

"Do we really have to get into this? Now?" Bella leaned against me and looked at me from beneath her lashes. "I changed my mind about the kisses. Wouldn't you rather kiss me again than talk?"

"Hmmm… Rose must have taught you that look. Emmett was right, it is very good. Luckily for me, however, I had a heads up about it." I cupped Bella's face and met her eyes seriously. "When I was brooding about my past, you made me talk. You showed me that, to be with you, I would have to communicate with you. That goes both ways. Talk to me, Sweetheart."

Bella sighed and stood up. I reached out to grasp her wrist, thinking she was going to leave. The action earned me an eye roll.

"Give me a second to figure out how to answer, Edward. I don't want to leave you thinking I don't want you. _Again_."

I released her wrist and watched her pace from one side of the kitchen to the other. On her fourth repetition of the circuit, she stopped suddenly, turning to face me with a deep breath.

"I never had a Carlisle and Esme," she said to me. "Renee and Charlie love _me_, but I never had that example of a good marriage. The few memories I have of my parents as a couple aren't that good, Edward. They fought a lot. Then, once they divorced, things between them were just awkward. Renee has always been a serial monogamist; her stints as a single were short-lived. Charlie, on the other hand, has never quite gotten over her."

"Okay," I said when Bella paused. "I get that your parents had a bad marriage. But we're _not_ them, Bella. Just, because, their relationship ended badly doesn't mean ours will."

"That's just it, Edward, you _don't_ seem to get it. I am like Renee. I spent three years with Mike because it was _easy_. He was the popular guy, and it was easier to be with him than to turn him down and be alone. Why do you think Renee married Charlie? It wasn't because of some great love she felt for him, it was because it was _easy_."

As Bella ranted, I realized I was getting more insight into her in this moment than I had gotten on the whole of our trip so far. It also made me realize, more than anything else she'd said, that she truly loved me. She might not have had my insecurities, but Bella's past had shaped her actions over the years every bit as much as my time in the foster system had shaped mine. When Bella paused for a breath, I sat down and pulled her onto my lap, framing her face with my hands.

"You spent three years with Mike because you knew he would never hurt you like Renee did Charlie. He didn't have that power. You aren't Renee, Bella, you're Charlie. When you love, it's wholly and forever, and that's scary. I get it." I pressed my forehead against hers. "But I'm not Renee, either, and I'm not going to leave you. So we don't need to talk about marriage right now, but you need to know that you're it for me. No matter where you are, or who you're with, I'm yours."

Bella buried her face against my chest, and I felt her tears begin to fall, soaking into the material of my t-shirt.

"I'm scared, Edward," she whispered. "This has all happened so quickly, too quickly… but I think I may be yours, too."

I didn't say anything in reply, just held her tighter, but I felt a wide grin stretch across my face at her words.

Mine… I really liked the sound of that.

_**A.N2: Well, we dealt with Edward's insecurities, and now we're dealing with Bella's. Musical inspiration came from Taylor Swift's "Mine" which could basically be Bella's theme song in this story, especially the lines: "You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter/you are the best thing/that's ever been mine." **_

_**Remember to review, and follow me on twitter: LynyrdLionheart. I like to chat with other readers, and I always love to receive story recs. Chapter 26 is already in the beginning stages of being written, so look for that soon… hopefully, no promises though. The last time I made promises, I didn't update for six months and we don't want that happening again.**_


	26. Quitter

**AN: So, after many requests, I've decided to give my best shot at finishing **_**God Love Her**_**. Plus, I've put twenty-five chapters of work into this! I want to see it to the end. And not only that, but I feel like I owe it to all of you who have read and reviewed this story. I know I hate it when a story I enjoy doesn't get finished, and so I've decided it's not fair to you if I do that. I can't guarantee quick updates, but it will get finished, darn it! The chapter title comes from the Carrie Underwood song. It will make sense if you know the song. Please enjoy:**

**Twenty-Six. Quitter**

If you had asked me todescribe myself just three weeks ago, I would have told you that I was focused and a little bit stubborn. I then could have laid out the next eight years of my life perfectly. It would start with getting my undergrad degree, and lead to a PhD in literature that would allow me to become a professor.

That was three weeks ago, when Edward Cullen was just the cute boy that I refused to think twice about.

If I were to be asked now, in the moment where I stood wrapped in the warmth of Edward's arms, feeling as if I could _really_ rely on someone other than Charlie for the first time in my life, I would say that my life had been turned upside down.

And I was ecstatic about it.

I had never really thought of myself as insecure. Probably because, until Edward, there was no one that inspired such a feeling in me. With Edward I found myself wanting things that I had never wanted before. Things, like marriage, that left me terrified and completely unsure about where I stood in our relationship. Yet, I wouldn't give it up for the world. Even when I was acting like a complete mess, Edward _got_ me. He understood me in a way that no one else ever had, not even Angela who had been my best friend (besides Jessica) since my return to Forks.

"This is completely crazy. You realize that, right?" I asked, my voice muffled by Edward's chest.

"That depends… what is completely crazy?" I felt Edward press his lips to my hair and play with some of the dark strands, and I couldn't help the goofy grin that crossed my face at his affectionate actions.

"This… us. It's been less than two weeks since we've left Forks, and here we are getting all angsty over kids and marriage." I pulled back so I could grin at him wryly. "Our life just became a Harlequin cliché."

"Not quite. We would have been a Harlequin cliché if I'd knocked you up _then_ we got all angsty about kids and marriage. We're more of a romantic comedy cliché." He gave me a crooked grin, causing my own to change from wry to genuine. "I don't mind, though. Do you?"

I took a step back from Edward and lifted myself onto one of the bar stools, cocking my head to survey him in the process. He hadn't shaved in a couple of days, so his face was scruffy and he wore simple blue jeans and a black t-shirt that clung to his form. My boyfriend was hot, and looked every inch the motorcycle riding bad boy that Charlie said he was.

But I knew better. Edward was kind, and he wanted to help people. He was insecure, and came with baggage that I would have never though I'd be willing to deal with, yet I couldn't imagine being anywhere but right where I was. I couldn't imagine _wanting_ to be anywhere else.

"I think we're us," I said, reaching out my hand to him. He placed his own warm hand into mine, and I held it tightly, enjoying the skin-on-skin connection. "I think that we move too fast, and make out at zoos, and have so many miscommunications that couples therapy should almost be mandatory… but it works for us. Renee and Charlie both think you're trouble, and that I'm going to ruin my life over you… but I think I'm as much myself with you as I am without you."

Edward cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Judging by the look on your face, I'm assuming that's a good thing, although I don't quite get it."

"It's from a book I read," I explained, pulling him closer. "This woman is in a crappy relationship with a guy who has some sort of narcissistic disorder. He completely changes her, turns her into some sort of Stepford wife, but still doesn't view her as good enough. She ends up leaving him and coming home where she meets another guy, who ends up being the right one, and on the day they get married, she tells him that she's as much herself with him as she is without him. I'm not saying that I've had anywhere near the troubles she has, but I do understand wanting to be what others expect you to be, even when that's not who you are. With you, I'm me, and I'm not afraid to be me because I know you'll love me anyways, even if I do talk in my sleep and have the tendency to trip over air if I'm not careful."

Edward wrapped his arm around me and nuzzled my neck.

"Well, aren't you a sentimental fool," he teased, and I laughed, both because of his words, and because of the tickling kisses he was trailing on my neck.

It was a sweet moment, a moment that was ruined by Renee's sudden entrance. I could tell by the faint sparkle of tears in her eyes that she had been listening. I thought about giving her the privacy lecture, a lecture that I had given her on previous occasions but which she always seemed to forget, but there was a new look in her eyes as she looked at Edward that stopped me before the words formed.

It was something like approval. I decided that, if it meant Renee changed her tune regarding Edward, I could accept a little invasion of privacy this one time.

But just once.

**GLH**

Renee's decision to accept my relationship with Edward made the next day's trip to the beach _much_ more enjoyable than it probably would have been otherwise. It also served to show me that my decision to not live in Florida was the right one.

The day started bright and early, with Edward being the one to wake me up.

"Mmmm," I moaned against his lips, which were pressed firmly to mine. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck when he moved to pull back. "Don't even think about it. I want you to keep kissing me."

Edward chuckled, but allowed himself to be pulled down for another kiss. When I tried to tease his lips apart with my tongue, however, he pulled back.

"You know I would love nothing more than to completely ravage you, Bella, but your mother only just accepted that perhaps I'm not going to totally ruin your life. Let's not press our luck with her… and why are you laughing?"

"Ravaged. Who uses words like ravaged anymore?" I said in response, still snickering. "You read Harlequin's, don't you? That's how you knew what their cliché plot line is… and why you use words like ravaged."

"Hmmm… well there was a Sheik in last month's collection who was rather inventive," Edward grazed his teeth along my neck, the sensation causing me to shiver in delight. I groaned in disappointment when Edward pulled away from me and left the bed. "But that will have to wait for another day. Come along, Isabella, the beach is calling."

"Tease!" I muttered throwing a pillow at Edward's back. He closed the door, blocking the shot and I cursed while he laughed lightly on the other side of the door. Scowling, I got out of the bed and found my swimsuit. I frowned thoughtfully as I looked between the two that I had purchased on the trip. One was a simple red and black one-piece. Sporty, modest, and serviceable.

The other was a string bikini that hid enough to keep it legal, but showed enough to make sure all Edward would think about was what was underneath. The first had been my choice, the second Rosalie and Alice's. My first instinct was to put on the one piece. It was comfortable and my normal style… but then I thought of Edward's morning kisses and that laugh and I decided that turnabout was fair play.

I was confident about my choice in apparel up until we got to the beach and it was time for me to actually show the suit off.

I decided then that revenge was over-rated and I would never pursue it again.

"I thought we came here to swim," Edward said, looking at me with raised brows when I sat on a towel without taking off my shorts and tank top. "Or at least to work on a tan. Those won't help with that."

Edward himself had tossed off his shirt almost as soon as he had seen the sand. I had been almost too busy staring at his shirtless chest to notice Renee's raised by brows and quickly flashed thumbs up.

"You just want to get me out of my pants," I joked. Renee and Phil were busy laying out their own towels, so I wasn't worried about them overhearing the teasing remark, and it helped me hide my unease.

"Well, that is always true," Edward agreed, laying on my towel next to me. "Let's see if I can't do it now."

I gave a surprised curse when he began to pull up my tank top.

"Now that's interesting. A lot of skin," Edward mused with a smirk as he managed to out-muscle me and keep raising the tank top. "Is this part of the shopping- holy shit."

He had managed to get the tank top off and was now getting an eyeful of my scantily clad boobs. I glared at him and crossed my arms.

"It seemed like a good idea after your tease display this morning," I muttered, hating the heat I felt burning in my cheeks. "Then we got here."

"Ah… well. Here. We can cover that back up," Edward replied, handing me back my shirt and looking around suspiciously. At first I felt insulted that my boyfriend, who claimed I was beautiful, wanted me to cover up.

Then I realized that it wasn't the lack of clothes he disliked, but rather the location. Edward, my Edward, didn't like that other men would be able to see me in the bikini!

I narrowed my eyes at him, then caught sight of a pair of pretty blondes ogling him over his shoulder. Glaring at Edward, I stood and pushed my shorts down, revealing the bottoms. I gave the blondes a too sweet smile and a finger wave, causing Edward to look around to see who had caught my attention. A flush rose in his cheeks when he realized what the blondes had been doing.

"Double standards suck, Edward. You wanted to swim," I pointed out with a smirk. "Well then, let's swim."

I began to saunter towards the water, and then squealed when a pair of arms lifted me. Within a minute, Edward had plunged us into the water. When we surfaced, I pushed my sopping hair out of my face while Edward wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I get it," he muttered, leaning down to touch his nose to mine. "No double standards. Although I didn't ask those girls to stare at me."

"You took off your shirt. That's enough," I replied, wrapping my own arms around his neck. "How about we just appreciate that we both can pull off swimsuits like pros and not get jealous? After all, we both know who we're going home with at the end of the day."

"Deal," Edward agreed, and then he sealed it by kissing me. I kissed him back and felt myself growing heated as the kiss grew deeper.

Then the ocean decided to interrupt and send a wave over us, immediately cooling the moment.

"Wrong place?" Edward asked with a laugh. I caught Renee watching us with hawk's eyes over his shoulders and gave my own laugh and a nod.

"Definitely the wrong place."

**GLH**

By the end of the day I regretted the bikini for a whole new reason.

"You should have known better!" Renee lectured me as Edward rubbed aloe lotion on the burn that I had gained. Pale skin plus bikini plus lots of sun equals extremely pained Bella, as it turned out.

"I'm aware of that _now_," I growled, irritated and not looking forward to putting on clothes that would only chafe against my skin and keep me awake. "It would have been nice to have had some of that wisdom earlier. You know, _before_ I turned into a lobster."

I heard Edward give a chuckle, and I tried to glare at him, but that just caused me more pain, so I gave up.

"My poor pale Bella," he said, kissing my shoulder. I muttered incoherently in reply.

**GLH**

We stayed with Renee and Phil long enough for my burn to heal to a tolerable level. It was nice, spending time with them. It was even nicer seeing Renee grow more and more fond of Edward with each passing day.

When it came time for us to hit the road again, this time to start to head towards the north and home, Renee gave me a tight hug.

"He's a good boy," she whispered in my ear. "I'm not saying to elope tomorrow. But if, after an appropriate amount of time passes and you have a degree, you decide he's the one, I wouldn't _hate_ it."

From Renee, it was the best blessing we could possibly get.

"You know," I said contemplatively, looking to where Edward was saying good-bye to Phil, "I think I might do that. After an appropriate amount of time, of course."

Then, our good-byes were finished and I was once again on the bike behind Edward, headed for our next adventure.

**AN2: And so they're off again, this time headed back to towards Forks. I hope to finish this in five to seven chapters. These two have faced most of their pressing issues, so now all that's left is a few shenanigans, dealing with those they left behind, and seeing what the future brings them. I thank anyone who decides to give this a shot after so very long, and here's to a finish to the story!**


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